MrDrama Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Hey guys, (Short version at the end if you don't want to read wall of text) Question for you all...I am currently dating my co worker not in a relationship yet but I am sure it might progress into one in a month or so. We have known each other for about a year now and we have been having the office flirt for about 6 months or so. I actually hurt my self and am not at work right have not been for a month or so. She has came to see me and we hang out almost once or twice to week and text all day. We have only kissed so far. Now my questions is I have already got her a birthday gift concert tickets next month and she was very happy when I told her. Now her birthday is in a few days should I bother sending her flowers or anything of that nature? I probably wont see her till this weekend. I just do not want to come of overbearing and smother her like we are going to fast. I also don't want her to be disappointed if I do not send her anything meaning full. I might be over thinking it but I really like this one. Short version: Dating co worker for the last month or so(Known each other for 1 yr) Currently injured right now so she has come visit me and pick me up, Got her concert tickets next month for her birthday. Do I bother with anything more? Flowers etc?
Hawaii51 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 A lovely letter or card, some picked flowers (it's spring), those tickets, and ideally get yourself something too in the form of something slutty for her to wear.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Flowers would be nice if you already got her a gift otherwise.
Gary S Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Sure, you've known her for awhile, 6 months, she's your nurse it's her birthday, buy the flowers - it's not going overboard. If ya don't buy the flowers, she's gonna think all you want is a nurse with a purse
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 The tickets sound nice, just get her some beautiful flowers (i.e. The kind you buy from a florist not a supermarket, although you don't have to go overboard with the biggest bouquet, just something tasteful and pretty, and colourful. Not red roses!). You're not actually together yet so anything more would be overkill but flowers show you remembered and that you put some effort in. I love getting flowers as their sole purpose is to bring pleasure, and they're something indulgent you wouldn't necessarily get for yourself, the florist kind anyway. I have some pink orchids my partner's mum brought me for Easter and every time I walk past them I feel happy and think of her Hopefully the poster who suggested a kinky outfit didn't notice the part where you haven't slept together yet! 1
d0nnivain Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 The concert tickets are probably too much. How are you going to top that next year? I was going to suggest a card & possibly some flowers. Be careful though if you don't want the whole office to know, you can't have them sent to work. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 The concert tickets are probably too much. How are you going to top that next year? I was going to suggest a card & possibly some flowers. Be careful though if you don't want the whole office to know, you can't have them sent to work. I presumed (maybe wrongly) that it was a show he really wanted to attend too. So not really an over the top gift. I don't get the 'gotta top last year!' Mentality, surely if a gift is nice then it's nice no matter what happens during the years either side? If someone is into you and not materialistic they'll just be pleased you cared and put some effort in, otherwise where does it end? Couples who've been together decades would be taking each other on round the world trips and spending thousands on each other's gifts! No harm in making the first one special as long as you don't go way overboard, may make her feel awkward as she's not your girlfriend.
smackie9 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Flowers yes! But not some 100 dollar bouquet of long stem roses, something colorful and not too big. Throw in a nice dinner and yer done.
gaius Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Just take her out to dinner if you're not even in a relationship yet. Forget the tickets and the flowers. Next time at least. =/
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Just take her out to dinner if you're not even in a relationship yet. Forget the tickets and the flowers. Next time at least. =/ Actually IMO flowers / concert tickets is more casual than Dinner.
d0nnivain Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I presumed (maybe wrongly) that it was a show he really wanted to attend too. So not really an over the top gift I suppose it depends on the tickets / show. The last concert I tried to get tickets for the tickets were around $300 each! If a guy I am not in a relationship with tried to gift me those I'd be plenty freaked out & wondering where his boundaries were. For not dating unless one party is a billionaire, the cap is way lower than $300.
gaius Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Actually IMO flowers / concert tickets is more casual than Dinner. I don't think so, unless he's sending her some freeze dried garbage from FTD dinner probably costs less, and concert tickets indicate a level of thought. It just seems like he's working really hard when they're not even in a relationship, which is much more of a turn off to most women I know than working too little.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I don't think so, unless he's sending her some freeze dried garbage from FTD dinner probably costs less, and concert tickets indicate a level of thought. It just seems like he's working really hard when they're not even in a relationship, which is much more of a turn off to most women I know than working too little. Oh well yeah the tickets show more thought, but going out to a concert is a lot more "casual" than going to a nice dinner or something. Flowers is super casual, can just have them delivered with a note.
gaius Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Oh well yeah the tickets show more thought, but going out to a concert is a lot more "casual" than going to a nice dinner or something. Flowers is super casual, can just have them delivered with a note. Generally to get flowers I have to find a local florist that's well reviewed and will deliver to her place, browse through their site and decide what I want, enter credit card information, figure out what to say on the card. The last time I ordered a girl flowers it ended up being a multiday activity. It's just labor and money intensive. And women know that, so it does say to them you're putting a lot of effort into this, which in and of itself isn't very casual. =/ Dinner can be as casual or romantic as you make it. And it takes 5 seconds to ask her, and not much more effort to jump on yelp and pick a place. Or just go somewhere you already know is good. Concert tickets kind of lock the person in with you on a specific date, and also indicate a level of effort similar to flowers. The only thing other than dinner I would recommend would be something you came across in the normal course of your day and thought she might like.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I think you should give her whatever makes you feel right, However, be careful not to give too much in hopes to get a fish to bite. You mentioned after 6 months, you're still considered casual you say, Extravagant gifts won't buy affection, attraction isn't something for which you should pay. Attend the concert with her possibly, buy an extra ticket for you, Continue having fun with her, the courtship is half the fun too, But if she hasn't tried to tie you down in terms of being exclusive, perhaps, maybe, and I hate to say it, but her heart isn't where you think it's at. The "friendzone" is real, regardless of the people that may disagree with me, Don't get stuck in that area unless you understand you're there voluntary, Courtship is fun and all, but if she isn't advancing a romantic interest with you, You should maybe double-check where you stand on her romantic radar and view. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I think you should give her whatever makes you feel right, However, be careful not to give too much in hopes to get a fish to bite. You mentioned after 6 months, you're still considered casual you say, Extravagant gifts won't buy affection, attraction isn't something for which you should pay. Attend the concert with her possibly, buy an extra ticket for you, Continue having fun with her, the courtship is half the fun too, But if she hasn't tried to tie you down in terms of being exclusive, perhaps, maybe, and I hate to say it, but her heart isn't where you think it's at. The "friendzone" is real, regardless of the people that may disagree with me, Don't get stuck in that area unless you understand you're there voluntary, Courtship is fun and all, but if she isn't advancing a romantic interest with you, You should maybe double-check where you stand on her romantic radar and view. Yeah - 6 months and no sex - sheesh. OP When you say kissing do you mean like pecks on the lips or full on make out sessions? 2nd base? If you aren't in a relationship with her yet, these are some troubling signs. She might start to notice that you're more into her than she is into you -- In my experience when a girl notices this, nothing good comes from it. If her interest level is low, you should always maintain your interest level at an equal or lower level.
Author MrDrama Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) I think you should give her whatever makes you feel right, However, be careful not to give too much in hopes to get a fish to bite. You mentioned after 6 months, you're still considered casual you say, Extravagant gifts won't buy affection, attraction isn't something for which you should pay. Attend the concert with her possibly, buy an extra ticket for you, Continue having fun with her, the courtship is half the fun too, But if she hasn't tried to tie you down in terms of being exclusive, perhaps, maybe, and I hate to say it, but her heart isn't where you think it's at. The "friendzone" is real, regardless of the people that may disagree with me, Don't get stuck in that area unless you understand you're there voluntary, Courtship is fun and all, but if she isn't advancing a romantic interest with you, You should maybe double-check where you stand on her romantic radar and view. I totally understand where you are coming from, and honestly I would have thought the same if she had not made the effort to drive 1 hour out of her way to come pick me up and hang out with me (Considering I am injured at the moment). As well as her family does know all about me ( She is very close to her family) I honestly think the reason it has progressed slow is because we work with each other thats a huge variable. Over the last 6 months we have gotten ridiculously close, I almost consider as close as one of my best friends. Yeah - 6 months and no sex - sheesh. OP When you say kissing do you mean like pecks on the lips or full on make out sessions? 2nd base? If you aren't in a relationship with her yet, these are some troubling signs. She might start to notice that you're more into her than she is into you -- In my experience when a girl notices this, nothing good comes from it. If her interest level is low, you should always maintain your interest level at an equal or lower level. I have had make out sessions with her that was last week, Like I said above I believe why have progressed slowly is because of work. I would like to think the level of interest is the same we talk on the phone we text all day and she drives over a hour to come take me out due to my injury at the moment. I have not been at work in over a month don't you think if she was not interested she definitely could have stopped talking to me while I was away? Edited April 14, 2015 by MrDrama 1
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