DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Ok so I met this lovely British Guy (28) 3 Weeks ago. He is the flatmate of two f my closest friends, Hence we see Each other a lot. I have had a Crush in him right the first second I saw. One night when we went out we hooked up and that happened again a second time. I know from my friends that he has never taken a girl home and always sleeps at home. So this thing with me definitely was an exception. When we hooked up (we never slept together though) but I stayed over at his place both times. He was always so sweet in the morning cuddling with me until middays. The second time we hooked up he asked me in the morning (Sunday) of I wanted to grab lunch with him and we ended up spending the whole day together, him even offering to accompany on my way back home so we can spend more time together. He told me he has been waiting to ask me out for dinner and did right then and there for the next week (Wednesday) We ended up going out on Thursday, because I had forgotten that I had other plans. It was HORRIBLE. I was so nervous that I had two glasses of wine before leaving. The beginning f the evening was amazing. Dinner was lovely and drinks too until I found myself completely wasted. I had lost count of how many glasses of wine I have had until then. I don't rememeber much, only that I got haywire crazy on him and told him at some point to go **** himself. NO IDEA WHY. That is how the evening ended..... I came home completely panicked and still wasted and sent him a text saying that I think we are different people and I like him but don't like the person I around him and that we should stay friends. He answered that he agrees of I feel uncomfortable but that he obviously wants to stay Friends as I am a good and nice person. In the morning I woke up realising what I had done sent him a text message along the lines apologizing for what happened and that I don't know what happened. That I would understand if he sidn''t wanna pursue this and that I still like him and would wanna keep seeing him... He sent me a text saying that I shouldn't apologize as it is fine but that he agrees with my message from last night that we are different people. But that I should still let him know if we go out tonight as he would Pop in if its cool. I know guys I have acted Bat**** crazy. This has literally never happened to me before!!!!! This guy just made me so nervous. And I still have feelings. On Saturday when we all went out (2 days after our date) with everyone. He was completely wasted and I stayed away from alcohol l. I asked him at some point what really happened during our date as I don't remember. He said he doesn't want to talk about t as it was weird and he can't even explain. He said it wa only our first official date and something like this happens what will happen next time? And my text messages were confusing. When I asked him if he wants to keep this as friends he said "well you said it in your text" and when I asked if that is what he wants "it's what you said in your text" he never denied liking me.... Well I know that this is all my doing and he thinks I am crazy and I am completely embarrassed as I still have to see him because of our shared friends. Trying to convince hIm that I am not crazy is going to make everything worse and even more crazy. I know he really liked me in the wvginning until the date.... He is a very stable, normal, nice guy who likes his routine and I gave the impression of being the exact opposite. Help? At least I wanna stay friends. But even that seems impossible right now....
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Haha wow.... I think you need to just respect that he doesn't want to pursue things. The only way you can prove you aren't crazy is if you just drop it and stop pushing the issue. However if you can't let go of what happened and keep bringing it up, then he will think you are undoubtedly crazy. i did enjoy your story though, particularly the part where you told him to **** off /popcorn 1
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 I guess I have no other sane choice but to let him be. I will be seeing him a lot and just being normal is my best bet. It's just frustrating knowing that the person he is rejecting is not me. Glad I could make you laugh though 1
Gary S Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Just say you are not crazy, you were drunk, from now on you will limit yourself to two drinks, and that you are sorry. It sounds like you basically said that already. Then act aloof and wait for him to come back to you. If he has a shred of interest left, playing hard to get will double it. 1
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 I will wait and see. Keeping my hopes high and my expectations low. I'm not ready to move on yet, but I will let it be. Thanx guys! 2
soyou Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I've been in your shoes before. There was a good amount of interest and mutual attraction from me and this guy. One night, we went out. I drank way too much and too fast. I became very aggressive (which really never happened to me before. When I'm drunk, I'm often the funniest and friendliest person on earth). I choked his neck many times. I asked him many BS nonsense questions. He tried to run away from me and I chased him behind. I didnt remember any of this till my friend told me the next day. I apologized to him and he said he was cool with it. But deep down, I know that the damages have been done and no way to revert. I tried to carry on for a little while but his interest level dropped. I finally hooked up with him which made everything become worse!! For a few days, I felt so angry and disappointed about myself for going that low. So my advice for you is to let it be. Dont try to pursue it further unless he is clear that he wants to pursue you. Embarrassment has been done enough. Damages have been caused. Dont let yourself go lower than this. I think dealing with embarrassment is not too bad. Dealing with disappointment about yourself or shattered ego is way worse! 2
JohnsonBaby Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Well you should have not drank so much . You lost control and acted crazy. Don't ever drink again,you seem to young to do so responsibly.
Satu Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Examine your alcohol use, OP. How you drink, and how it effects you. 4
Toodaloo Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Just say you are not crazy, you were drunk, from now on you will limit yourself to two drinks, and that you are sorry. It sounds like you basically said that already. Then act aloof and wait for him to come back to you. If he has a shred of interest left, playing hard to get will double it. Oh so agree with this. Now you know that booze can affect you this way I should limit your intake... We have enough crazy ladies in the UK without meeting more else where. Chalk it up to experience and leave it be. I really don't think he will be coming back though... 1
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Alcohol has never affected me in that way. I am the least aggressive person. I didn't get physical or anything, but I seem to have acted crazy. I have to get over the embarrassment that is for sure. As I will keep on seeing him in the future, because of common friends. After what happened I have done some changes. Alcohol is reduced to max of one glass when out with friends and around him none. And I am on a dating pause. Judging from the way I acted around someone I was serious about shows that I have a lot to work on myself. I still have to heal. Thank you for reading though, it feels better once I have talked about it. It's just sad to know that I ruined it for myself. 1
Toodaloo Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Alcohol has never affected me in that way. I am the least aggressive person. I didn't get physical or anything, but I seem to have acted crazy. I have to get over the embarrassment that is for sure. As I will keep on seeing him in the future, because of common friends. After what happened I have done some changes. Alcohol is reduced to max of one glass when out with friends and around him none. And I am on a dating pause. Judging from the way I acted around someone I was serious about shows that I have a lot to work on myself. I still have to heal. Thank you for reading though, it feels better once I have talked about it. It's just sad to know that I ruined it for myself. Honey - we all make mistakes. Myself included. I am just too old to care about it anymore. I accept that I am not perfect and bimble along in my own way... Its how we deal with them and move on that shows the person we are. Quit beating yourself up and make it into a funny story. 1
Buddhist Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) I just can't understand how one can get completely 'wasted' by drinking a few glasses of wine, or without really noticing. I definately notice well before that stage that I'm feeling the effects of alcohol. Edited April 14, 2015 by Buddhist 1
veggirl Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 STOP bringing it up to him and asking him about it!!! OMG! Why do you want to REMIND him of what you did?? Never mention it again. Try to chill, at this point if he wants nothing to do with you, you can't really blame him. Sit back, don't initiate and just see what happens.
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 @TOODALOO I agree that it's about the way I deal with it. I don't want anything to be for nothing. I will at least take this as a lesson to better myself. Nothing should ever happen for no reason. @BUDDHIST Trust me I don't know why either. I usually notice too. That is why I am at a loss of words or understanding here. I have no clue what happened. No idea.
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 STOP bringing it up to him and asking him about it!!! OMG! Why do you want to REMIND him of what you did?? Never mention it again. Try to chill, at this point if he wants nothing to do with you, you can't really blame him. Sit back, don't initiate and just see what happens. Yes I know... I am done bringing it up, don't worry. It's nothing I can do about it. Just deal with it and hope he wants to stay friends at least.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 What in the fresh heck? You suddenly completely changed personalities and this has never, not once, happened before? I don't totally buy that, OP. I don't mean to say that I think you're crazy, but that level of aggression doesn't generally come out of nowhere. What were you so angry about? I think you probably need to be more honest with yourself in examining what brought this on. As everyone else suggested, leave him alone. You were way out of line, which I know you recognize. Imagine how hurt and turned off you'd be if he acted so inappropriately with you. He might not be interested in friendship for the moment either. In the meantime, don't drink. Period. 2
okc85 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) omg. This reminds me of one of my first dates. They were sober one minute, then plowed the next. turns out they had a BIG time alcohol problem. so..um Edited April 14, 2015 by okc85 fixed
kendahke Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Before you left the house and were hitting the wine, how much food had you had before you began drinking? But yeah... stop drinking. 1
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 I definitely do not have an alcohol problem, that I can guarantee you. If I drink it's only in social gatherings and that maybe a maximum of once every two weeks. Well that is what I have been saying. He brought out ugly sides in me that I didn't know I had. And no this has NEVER happened before. If it would I wouldn't be so surprised and racking my brain wondering what happened that night.
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Before you left the house and were hitting the wine, how much food had you had before you began drinking? But yeah... stop drinking. I came home from a night shift at the hospital, so I wasn't in the best Position to handle my booze. But being so nervous I kind of didn't care.
Toodaloo Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 omg. This reminds me of one of my first dates. They were sober one minute, then plowed the next. turns out they had a BIG time alcohol problem. so..um See the most I have ever drunk on a first date is half a pint... Normally I stick to tea... After that well tough. I have warned you I am mad and crazy already so deal with it lol Mind you not one of my exes has seriously complained about my taking all my clothes off for some reason... can't think what that is...
okc85 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I definitely do not have an alcohol problem, that I can guarantee you. If I drink it's only in social gatherings and that maybe a maximum of once every two weeks. Well that is what I have been saying. He brought out ugly sides in me that I didn't know I had. And no this has NEVER happened before. If it would I wouldn't be so surprised and racking my brain wondering what happened that night. Well, since nothing BAD happened, you can try to laugh this off. It's a bad date story for your memoirs now, lol.
kendahke Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I came home from a night shift at the hospital, so I wasn't in the best Position to handle my booze. But being so nervous I kind of didn't care. so, the translation to this is "I drank on an empty stomach"?
elaine567 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 so, the translation to this is "I drank on an empty stomach"? "I drank a lot on an empty stomach" 1
Author DALIFAN Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Well I was exhausted and hadn't eaten much, but not a completely empty stomach. Anyway summing up your guys' advice: let him be, let this be, take it as an occasion to learn and better myself and this situation shall NEVER be repeated again at any circumstances (and dial down on the drinking). Got it. thank you again!
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