kismetkismet Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 My ex of 1.5 yrs and I broke up a month ago. I was the initiator but it was because he was being non committal and not making me a priority in his life. I didn't really leave a lot of room for discussion, and I think that he was shocked when I did leave.. However, since then he hasn't tried to get me back, though he has tried many times to explain to me that he is hurt by the break up and that he still cares about me/his feelings haven't changed. I suggested today that I come by some time this week to get my things as it's been a month. We both admitted that we were still really upset about the breakup and that it would likely not be an emotionally neutral situation.. but that enough time has passed. Then we chatted about non-related things for about an hour. But then an hour or so later he messaged saying he wasn't sure when would be a good time to do it. His mom just started staying with him because there was a fire in her apartment, and his roommate is in town (he rarely is) and he said he doesn't want to do it when other people are there. I agreed. (he doesn't have a car and it is a lot of heavy things) At first I assumed it would just be later this week that we do it, but reading through the messages again (and knowing how he is) I realize that it could be weeks before he gets around to it. He's very avoidant, and apparently my things are still strewn throughout his house. I feel like putting it off too long is only going to make things harder in the long run.. like it's not really final until it's done, so I don't want it hanging over my head. Would it be a mistake to wait another couple of weeks? It's really hard because we both still really care about each other, and loved each other when we broke up. So it makes it difficult having it hanging over my head that we will need to meet up and I have no idea how it's going to go... I would tell him just to keep it, but it's hundreds of dollars of stuff.. not like shampoo and tshirts.
Poppyolive Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I think its OK to wait. Have him box up your belongings abd leave them ready to go or have someone pick them up. I understand why he wouldn't want you coming by with his mom & roommate being there. I'm sure waiting anther week or two won't kill you.
Author kismetkismet Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Oh right, I left off saying that he said that he could borrow his mom's car and that maybe he could bring my stuff to me.. but that he needed to sort through his storage first which is apparently all throughout his house right now/he's sorting through it (i have no idea why he would need to do that first quite frankly, none of my stuff is in it, which I didn't think of until later. Also, I think we will probably have a chat when we meet up. We are still on very good terms, and I do want to know how he's doing. The break up was also very abrupt, and I feel like this is kind of.. the thing that will really close it off. However, you're probably right that another week or two won't kill me.
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