Superman2024 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I feel like I'm missing something when communicating with women online. It's like they get bored and disappear after 1-3 days of messaging, especially once I try to escalate it to talking or meeting. I usually carry the conversations, ask them questions, and add some light flirting. I'm wondering if I'm not flirting enough and coming across as too much of a nice guy. Something is off since it's happening all the time. It's either me, the flaky women online, or a combination of both. How does the conversation usually flow leading up to a first meet starting with the OLD messages to the phone (texting)? Maybe some real conversation examples would be helpful (if not crazy long and excluding personal info).
PegNosePete Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Usually 5-6 messages over a couple of days, before progressing to phone. Just general get to know you stuff. Then CALL (not text) and ask to meet in a couple of days time. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 (edited) Find something in their profile and comment on it.Try to be light and flirtatious (without being overtly sexual).Exchange a few messages and then you ask her if she wants to get together for a drink sometime.If she says yes, then ask her if she has a number you can reach her at.Send her a flirtatious text. The last girl's number I got on Match had a NJ Area Code on her number so I sent her a text saying "I'm deleting your number, I don't like the look of your area code :P". Anything will do, just keep it light.Don't waste time texting, ask if there's a good time to call her, otherwise if you (or she) isn't comfortable talking on the phone yet, just setup a date via text. I think texting is more acceptable the younger you are - I get by with it OK at age 26.When setting up a date make sure that YOU SPECIFY the place/time. BE SPECIFIC!If you feel like your conversation is becoming interview-like and there is no "fun" in it, she might lose interest. Don't get lazy with your communication, keep it witty/fun. Edited April 13, 2015 by barcode88
Author Superman2024 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Thanks for the suggestions. Usually I'll exchange a few messages on the dating site, see if she wants to exchange numbers so we can communicate easier, text a few times, and then suggest meeting. Does it really matter if I ask for the number before or after asking to meet? I used to ask about calling but it seems like most girls don't want to talk anymore, so I just try to set up a meet over text. I do keep things light, funny, and a little flirty while I'm trying to gather some basic info about them.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Thanks for the suggestions. Usually I'll exchange a few messages on the dating site, see if she wants to exchange numbers so we can communicate easier, text a few times, and then suggest meeting. Does it really matter if I ask for the number before or after asking to meet? I used to ask about calling but it seems like most girls don't want to talk anymore, so I just try to set up a meet over text. I do keep things light, funny, and a little flirty while I'm trying to gather some basic info about them. I ask to meet first to find out what her intentions are, if she says YES lets meet, then I take it as an indicator that I'm not wasting my time getting her number. Also she might not want to give out her number (haven't had this happen yet, but my roommate swears by it) -- so if you ask her if she wants to meet and she says yes, but then WONT give her number out, just make plans on the OLD Site.
Vintage79 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Usually I send them one dorky message and then they propose meeting in their response - that's what happened to me the past 5-6 dates I had from OLD. I'm in my 30s, though, and targeting women in their 30s - they have a better idea of what they want and don't feel like dragging it out, as in-person chemistry is always a trump card. If they didn't propose meeting, I'd usually suggest it in my 3rd message (potentially 2nd if they initiated contact). Regardless, send light, flirty, mildly funny (don't try too hard) messages, with some reference to something in their spiel that you find interesting. Keep the messages short - probably no more than 100-150 words tops, and propose meeting relatively quickly and when you suggest it, make sure it's only 1-3 days out, so they don't lose interest with other people messaging them. The key is strike while the kettle is hot - don't let it cool down too much, or you'll get lost in their deluge of messages unless you look like a rockstar that they want to jump.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Usually I send them one dorky message and then they propose meeting in their response - that's what happened to me the past 5-6 dates I had from OLD. I'm in my 30s, though, and targeting women in their 30s - they have a better idea of what they want and don't feel like dragging it out, as in-person chemistry is always a trump card. If they didn't propose meeting, I'd usually suggest it in my 3rd message (potentially 2nd if they initiated contact). Regardless, send light, flirty, mildly funny (don't try too hard) messages, with some reference to something in their spiel that you find interesting. Keep the messages short - probably no more than 100-150 words tops, and propose meeting relatively quickly and when you suggest it, make sure it's only 1-3 days out, so they don't lose interest with other people messaging them. The key is strike while the kettle is hot - don't let it cool down too much, or you'll get lost in their deluge of messages unless you look like a rockstar that they want to jump. Yeah girls in their 20s don't do that for me. I usually have to send a few messages and then ask myself. Could be the Women in their 30s don't want to dick around as much, they want to have husband/kids before they're too old so time is of the essence lol
Vintage79 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Yeah girls in their 20s don't do that for me. I usually have to send a few messages and then ask myself. Could be the Women in their 30s don't want to dick around as much, they want to have husband/kids before they're too old so time is of the essence lol I did plenty of OLD in my 20s, and it happened on occasion, but it's a bit more straight forward the older you get...
Author Superman2024 Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 I'm most attracted to girls in their 20's but they sure drive me crazy online! I wonder what would happen if I told them I was a millionaire, lol.
Gary S Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Just talk to them like you would a friend. Simple. I usually ask for a number after a day or two of messaging. It's easier to set up a meet on a call.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Send her a flirtatious text. The last girl's number I got on Match had a NJ Area Code on her number so I sent her a text saying "I'm deleting your number, I don't like the look of your area code :P". . Haha.. This was awesome. Definitely in your top three. My other two favorites being the Burger King / McDonald's line and your take on bunnies.
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