ReneeAdelle87 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 My ex and I were very young when we met and had a very rocky relationship for 5 years and were then on/off for approx 3 years after that. I moved countries and after a few months ceased all contact and ignored all contact that he attempted to make. I felt it was best for both of us to have a clean break so we could both move on as we just kept hurting each other. That was 3 years ago and we have seen each other a few times at joint friends weddings / birthdays but I have avoided him. He has sent a message each time after these events that I've ignored, the last being about 8 months ago. I am about to move further abroad and am home for a very short period. I feel I've grown up a lot and don't want the awkwardness at celebrations we both attend going forward. I would like to have a civil relationship with him but I am worried he might misinterpret any contact I make as me being interested in something more which I'm not but I would like to have coffee and get some final closure for both of us. I also know he is quite angry with me over refusing contact as that was purely my choice and that is also making me hesitate. Do I make contact or just leave it well alone and live with the awkwardness a couple times per year forever?
Joannamay Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Hi there I think no contact is the right decision here, he might misinterpret the contact and even you might start to rekindle feelings for him due to contact. I really think that a little but of awkwardness is the least of your worries. You've moved this far now, don't fall back and give him any hope. That's just my opinion but I hope it helped
PegNosePete Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 You do not get closure from your ex. Closure comes from within. You should never rely on someone else to give you the feelings you desire because people are notoriously unreliable for that sort of thing. What "closure" do you need anyway? What do you want him to say to you, that you don't already know? 1
Toodaloo Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 OP Many years ago I was living with a guy. We were totally smitten with each other and then one day out of the blue. Boom. Over. I never understood. He wouldn't talk to me. I was devastated for years. It actually put me on a downward spiral of dating "bad" men who were not at all good for me because I didn't feel worthy... I decided a few months ago to put me deamons to bed and I asked if we could talk. We had a brief chat and he said he would call. For a few days I was in a real mess. All the old feelings resurfaced, I had all new feelings and emotions in there as well. Then when I calmed down I thought about what he had said during our brief conversation. Turns out he is an arsehole. I had just been ignoring it. I have endured decades of these awkward meetings and so on... but its was all a load of balls. Next time you see him just smile, say hello, and walk away. You don't need closure - it solves nothing. There is nothing to resolve because there is nothing there. Its in the past. Leave it, and look to your future.
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