Author firefly1 Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Hmmm, well I mentioned that a few pages ago... about him considering you more as a friend. But after your last date, sounds like there is definitely an interest there, beyond friends. But for whatever reason, he is being very cautious. Slow to rush in. You'll have to feel it out. Again, one day at a time. Enjoy your time together, and if it's meant to be, everything will fall into place. Any chance he is not rushing in in case I don't feel the same way? And also maybe he is thinking about the age gap too? He is kind of shy, bit goofy in an adorable way, doesn't seem like a player, quite modest.
katiegrl Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 (edited) Any chance he is not rushing in in case I don't feel the same way? And also maybe he is thinking about the age gap too? He is kind of shy, bit goofy in an adorable way, doesn't seem like a player, quite modest. Sweetie, I have no idea what he is thinking or feeling, and wouldn't even begin to speculate. I realize this "uncertainty" stage is unsettling and causes anxiety, but all I can suggest is to stay positive! You had a great time, talked for hours, he paid. ...lol ...so try to relax and again, try not to over-think. It certainly appears he is into you, more than a friend, but for some reason is hesitant to rush in. There is nothing wrong with going slow. Sure beats those guys who dash in real quick, but dash OUT just as quick...or quicker! So relax!!! Okay? Yoga helps...so does chocolate! Lol. :bunny: Edited April 28, 2015 by katiegrl 1
lgspot Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 He mentioned casually in conversation that he wanted to settle down and start a family. That's my goal too for the next two years. Haha yeah I guess I'm thinking too much but the women in my family live to over 90 and he is older than me by 10 years and statistically women live longer than men. Let's say he lived to 85 I would be only 75 and I may have 25 extra years of being alone. But I really like him and I don't know whether this should be a factor at all? His parents are also pretty elderly already (20 years older than my parents) and his siblings are 20 years older than mine. Do you think a 10 year age gap would work? Any chance he is not rushing in in case I don't feel the same way? And also maybe he is thinking about the age gap too? He is kind of shy, bit goofy in an adorable way, doesn't seem like a player, quite modest. firefly, I am nine years older than the lady I'm seeing. Age has never been an issue. I can only HOPE she outlives me by 20 years... Maybe the next guy after I croak can be ten years younger than her. After putting up with me and my ancient ways, she'll deserve a little fun... To my way of thinking, its better to be with someone you want to be with for the time you have, than to spend a lifetime and multiple years with someone you don't really want to be with. I suggest you grab the old guy and enjoy the hell out of him while you have him.... This time he paid!!!!
Diezel Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Let's say he lived to 85 I would be only 75 and I may have 25 extra years of being alone. But I really like him and I don't know whether this should be a factor at all? His parents are also pretty elderly already (20 years older than my parents) and his siblings are 20 years older than mine. Do you think a 10 year age gap would work? Or you guys get together and you die after the wedding day. Then he's left alone for 50 years. You really need to stop overthinking this. I've never heard of a 27 year old referring to herself in the context of maybe being a young widow. If it's that big of a deal to you, go find someone younger. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 I don't think he is a big texter though cos he keeps his replies quite brief. He then initiated a further 3 text conversations and in one of them we texted for 1 hour and a half. Looks like he enjoys texting after all. Haha yeah I guess I'm thinking too much but the women in my family live to over 90 and he is older than me by 10 years and statistically women live longer than men. Let's say he lived to 85 I would be only 75 and I may have 25 extra years of being alone. But I really like him and I don't know whether this should be a factor at all? His parents are also pretty elderly already (20 years older than my parents) and his siblings are 20 years older than mine. Do you think a 10 year age gap would work? One question - Why are you thinking about being a young "widow" with a guy you've seen twice? Don't get me wrong. Multiple locations and long hours spent definitely means you had a great date! But that's just it. It was one date. Also, I have no idea what his true interest level is. I'm basing my opinion on his actions. But two things that jumped out at me are him waiting six days to contact you, and him only hugging you at the end. While I can't speak for all men, I can personally say that I'd never let almost a week go by if I was fully interested, and with that good of a date, I'm ending it with a kiss. So just try to dial back the expectations a bit, and take it one date at a time. If he contacts you again, go on another date and see how it goes. If that one goes well, hopefully he'll kiss you. 1
Author firefly1 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Posted April 29, 2015 Looks like he enjoys texting after all. One question - Why are you thinking about being a young "widow" with a guy you've seen twice? Don't get me wrong. Multiple locations and long hours spent definitely means you had a great date! But that's just it. It was one date. Also, I have no idea what his true interest level is. I'm basing my opinion on his actions. But two things that jumped out at me are him waiting six days to contact you, and him only hugging you at the end. While I can't speak for all men, I can personally say that I'd never let almost a week go by if I was fully interested, and with that good of a date, I'm ending it with a kiss. So just try to dial back the expectations a bit, and take it one date at a time. If he contacts you again, go on another date and see how it goes. If that one goes well, hopefully he'll kiss you. Maybe cultural differences? I'm living in Japan and he is Japanese. They usually don't do kissing until a few months in and PDA is not done. The texting part I'm not sure, maybe he is more of a face to face kind of guy. Well anyway I'm not gonna initiate anything to see what his interest level is. Thanks for the replies though, I hope it will go somewhere and he's interested in me! Haha yeah and the widow thing, I've never dated an older man before. All of the guys I've been with have been younger. So these things jumped into my head!!
fitnessfan365 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Maybe cultural differences? I'm living in Japan and he is Japanese. They usually don't do kissing until a few months in and PDA is not done. The texting part I'm not sure, maybe he is more of a face to face kind of guy. Well anyway I'm not gonna initiate anything to see what his interest level is. Thanks for the replies though, I hope it will go somewhere and he's interested in me! Haha yeah and the widow thing, I've never dated an older man before. All of the guys I've been with have been younger. So these things jumped into my head!! Yeah if it's a cultural thing and PDA is frowned upon, that actually makes a lot of sense. I'd still say to pay attention to how often he is in contact though. Now that you had another date, maybe he'll be in contact sooner than six days.
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