norudder Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 A guy called my apartment quaint. To me that word has a kind of sarcastic subtext these days. I noticed him looking at my artwork and asked if he liked it. He replied 'some of it' instead of commenting what he liked or asking more about a piece. Am I reading too much into these comments? I'm not dating him or anything but its a possibility down the road. I just left a very critical and passive aggressive ex and needed a counselor to validate I wasn't crazy. I was always told things were my fault and was too sensitive. I'm worried I'm going to go too far the other way in protecting myself from any perceived criticism that I really will become too sensitive. 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Based on this, it's difficult to tell whether that guy was overly critical or just being polite IMO. Is he the first potential prospect since your ex? If you think he's worth it, maybe you should give him a chance to get to know him better and see if your worries are justified, if you are still a little hung up on your ex and not ready to start something yet (nothing wrong with that) or if it's just 'early days nerves' kicking in at the idea of maybe starting something new?
Emilia Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I'm voting for too sensitive, yes. 'Quaint' usually means something old fashioned and charming. I'm not aware of that word's having negative connotations. As for the artwork, people approach it differently. Some ask, others contemplate and ask later. Maybe he wanted to make sure he didn't ask the wrong questions? Maybe he could tell that he was in trouble over 'quaint' already.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I'm voting for too sensitive, yes. 'Quaint' usually means something old fashioned and charming. I'm not aware of that word's having negative connotations. As for the artwork, people approach it differently. Some ask, others contemplate and ask later. Maybe he wanted to make sure he didn't ask the wrong questions? Maybe he could tell that he was in trouble over 'quaint' already. In terms of living spaces, "quaint" is usually code for "really tiny". Much like other words, like 'cute' or 'cozy' and yeah, it can definitely have sarcastic or condescending connotations. As far his comments on the art, eh have a lot of artwork (large photographs of cityscapes, etc) in my house and people usually freely comment of their own volition. If I catch someone looking I typically don't ask if they like it, I'll tell them something about it on my own and be done with it. The "some of it" comment was a little awkward and he would've been better off just saying "yeah" or selecting his favorite piece but I wouldn't hold it against him. Are you being hypersensitive OP? Maybe, but I can certainly see where you're coming from. It's possible he meant absolutely nothing by it and you're still raw from a critical ex (BTDT) however perhaps for the time being you should at least keep an eye out for more overt passive aggression and/or criticism. Alternatively, you should also be mindful of body language, tone of voice as well as setting. How was your mood/attitude? Had you said or done anything that could be misconstrued as being passive aggressive in your own right?
Author norudder Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Thanks for the responses. I think he was being critical but trying to be polite. I think it was a backhanded compliment but he didn't realize it. I won't put too much emphasis on it. I like the idea of using it as an opportunity to look at myself since we often attract people who mirror images we need to work out for ourselves right? I'm def still raw from ex and am making conscious efforts to be as kind and authentic with people as possible. To not be afraid of trust and vulnerability with appropriate boundaries. I'm finding it rare to come across others who communicate with awareness.
spiderowl Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Yes, he sounds critical and that's not very appealing from the start. It would have put me off, but then a lot of things do! I would expect him to continue judging and maybe eventually decide the relationship is not for him.
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