Jspec1621 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 essentially she was my best friend, we had a long platonic relationship, we knew that we were attracted to each other but basically just never thought about being intimate or in a relationship. She knew everything about me and i knew everything about her, we talked all day every day, there was nothing we couldn't talk about, or say, we could go any where together and do every thing regardless what it was and it was still a great time for us. It slowly transitioned into a relationship a while back and it never changed anything, We had reached our highest point where it all came together and all we talked about was how happy we both were. Spent time together almost every day, her parents loved me and mine loved her, it seemed like it was always meant to be and it played out so perfectly. Then her life changed temporarily and it really changed her. All of a sudden she felt like because she was going to be consumed by other factors mostly her job, and school that she wasn't going to be able to keep it up with me, I was devastated, that fire that we had seemed like it was just totally gone from one day to the next. She never once showed any signs or signals that she wasn't happy or wanted out. She was with me to the last day and everything was normal. I made the mistake of chasing her for a while after, almost begging to look at what she was throwing away, and just being needy and annoying. Never once was I disrespectful or nasty or mean though. Not once. chasing was a Big mistake i suppose but I loved her and what we had and I couldn't understand. Now after going through a great friendship for years where we always had each other, and then turning it into a great relationship for a few months, shes totally gone and wants noting to do with me. Makes me out to be the bad guy and doesn't want me to contact her. I just don't get it and it makes me crazy. How could you mean the world to each other for ever and then it all just falls apart. Especially when she says she had no regrets about what we did and that she meant all of it and wanted all of it while it was all happening.
sutsie Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 how long was the relationship? sounds like gigs if it was over a year... going through that with my ex and our 3 year relationship right now. NEVER chase. put yourself over her every single time.
Author Jspec1621 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 we were friends like that for well over 5 years but the actual intimate relationship level was about 4 months
ragdoll15 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Jspec, my ex and I were the best of friends before our relationship as well. We shared everything, were each other's confidantes and promised to support each other for a long time to come. We went through so much together during the relationship, and it all came crashing down with a snap of his fingers. I've replayed his words in my mind over and over. And one thing that a friend told me which had helped was this: You can take your partner's words at face value and choose to trust what they say as an emotional truth. Or you can can choose to find the meaning for their words and actions. Neither is wrong. But you have to realize that they will make life decisions and you won't be able to decide for them, neither can you ever predict what the outcomes may be. So you have to decide what you want to make you happy, and not put the fate of your happiness in their hands.
Author Jspec1621 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 I don not think that I will ever be able to find the reason behind what she did or wanted or how she went about it. You are certainly correct, my days and my life with her in it were certainly brighter times. I was heavily invested and making one person control my happiness is not good at all, perhaps she knew she had that affect on me and it was also too much. Everything was to good too fast and was on a very serious level once it all started, she just basically killed it once there were some obstacles in her own life
Recommended Posts