marigo Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 We dated for about 3 months, broken up exactly a month ago. I've had relationships longer than this but why can't I seem to get over this one? It hurts so bad i spent the entire weekend crying and couldnt even get out of bed. It was the most secured I've felt in a relationship in a long time where I dont have to question how he felt about me. And it was through his actions not words. He was making a lot of time and effort for me. He sat me down one day to let me know that he is going on deployment and is not sure how much he'll be there for me. He doesn't know if he feels that strongly for me to make me wait when he gets back from deployment. Didnt see it coming so all I did was cry. I asked to meet a week later so I can say what I have to say. We've talked once a week so far just to see how each other is doing. But today I texted him and no response. I was trying to make it light and playful and maybe it backfired because we're just friends now. I know it doesnt matter but I keep questioning maybe he's just not feeling it? Maybe deployment is just an excuse? Ughh I don't know. Why can't I just accept that it's over? And why is it not getting any better? I've had break ups before where I continued talking to the guy shortly after and I was fine. I would cry for a week or two and I'd be sad still but nothing like this one. I feel so hopeless...
ravfour4 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Maybe he was afraid that you two hadn't known each other long enough to trust each other long distance and was afraid you may hurt him? And/or he didn't feel like it had grown to a point where it was worth keeping long distance? Did you tell him that you thought it was worth fighting for? If you did and he still said he didn't want to...I'd just let him go.
Author marigo Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Maybe he was afraid that you two hadn't known each other long enough to trust each other long distance and was afraid you may hurt him? And/or he didn't feel like it had grown to a point where it was worth keeping long distance? Did you tell him that you thought it was worth fighting for? If you did and he still said he didn't want to...I'd just let him go. I went in a state of panic when he started telling me about it and so instead of telling him that I will be here for him. I started asking him how he felt about me and if he wanted to be with me. And he said he doesnt know where it's going yet or if it's even gonna go anywhere. He feels that the deeper/emotional connection isnt all there yet. Then I asked to talk to him a week later to tell him that I understand his situation and that I want to keep hanging out and see if it develops and that I accept what he is able to give me due to his circumstances. Then he just said that emotionally it's not where it should be. He said that maybe it's the military thats causing him to feel detached. It just breaks my heart because he leaves in 6 months and there's still time to see if it will develop.
ravfour4 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Hmm, maybe he got scared when you were somewhat asking him to say with certainty that he either really liked you or didn't and maybe he wasn't totally sure yet. I'd say distance yourself a bit and see if he contacts you on his own, if he does, he's obviously still interested.
Author marigo Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Hmm, maybe he got scared when you were somewhat asking him to say with certainty that he either really liked you or didn't and maybe he wasn't totally sure yet. I'd say distance yourself a bit and see if he contacts you on his own, if he does, he's obviously still interested. I know and that's why i keep beating myself up for the whole thing. Because had I handled it differently and asked the correct questions, maybe he wouldnt feel pressured? I dont know. I clarified it the next time we saw each other that i wasnt trying to pressure him into making me his girlfriend. We've contacted once a week so far. I dont know if he will initiate again.
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