Sarah_M Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Hello, I am new to this forum and just a few days ago my boyfriend of almost 7 years broke up with me. A little about us: we met on Myspace when we were 14 and talked back and forth for 3 years until we started to date at 17 (he lived 5 hours away, so it was long distance). A few years into our relationship he broke up with me because I was young and emotionally immature and acted terrible (checked his Myspace all the time, got mad when he hung out with his friends, was needy and texted him constantly etc). Anyway, he ended up wanting me back after a month and I agreed. I had gone through therapy and was a better person, but not entirely ready for a relationship because of past personal demons. Our relationship continued and I eventually moved to be with him. Our relationship was better, but some old patterns kept reoccurring. Fast forward to now (almost 4 years later) and he wants to end it again. Last month he said he didn't want to marry me and hasn't been happy for the past year and has been thinking about breaking up with me for months, but gave me a chance to change because I was totally blindsided by the whole thing. I started going to therapy again, but just a few days ago he said he really wanted to break up because our relationship is unhealthy. I am completely heartbroken. I thought I was going to marry this guy and we had talked about it all the time. We talked some more about things and he said that he still really loves me and in the future would "always be willing to come back to our relationship because it means the world to me"- he even apologized for everything and hugged me with tears in his eyes saying that if he could cope better this wouldn't be happening. That made me feel like absolute ****. This relationship isn't healthy because of me. I have emotional problems that I haven't dealt with from my past. We have been acting normal toward eachother; kissing, cuddling and saying 'I love you'. I know it will make it harder in the end. I had to quit my job today so I can pack and move back 5 hours away to live with family. I am so gutted by this whole thing. I don't want to move, I don't want to say goodbye all I want is for us to be together and be happy. I know we aren't leaving on bad terms and he left it open for us to be together, but I am terrified he will find someone else. He is such an amazing person and the love of my life. I ****ed everything up and just want to die
TunaCat Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I know you don't see it right now, but you deserve so much better than him. "always be willing to come back to our relationship because it means the world to me" ^^That quote infuriates me on your behalf. He's basically telling you that you are his option, his 2nd choice. You deserve someone who will make you his priority, his number one choice. Go no contact and when you get back home to your family, enjoy time with them. Start up a new hobby to get your mind of things.
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