andreprisal - okay so I came back to update OW 1ST TIME

[andreprisal2]

Sorry totally forgot my password and got locked out trying to log back in so I just made a new account. I really took a lot of your advice to heart with my situation so quickly transforming and I didn't forget you all even though I was sure I wouldn't be back. I ended up coming back to see what the last responses were to my last thread and saw some support and was really stoked to read! So I thought I'd come back to share some updates for those of you who were wondering how it is going and if we lasted more than a few days.

 

Answer: YES

 

We're doing well. He had initially moved in with a friend same day and has now moved into his own condo so that he can have his own space to himself. We are really enjoying going out in public and not being worried about what city we are in or if we will run into anyone who knows us. As far as work goes, we still have not told our coworkers/owners of the company and think that is for the best for now. His wife has taken everything much better than I had dreamed. I actually spoke with her on the phone briefly to apologize for the way this played out and though she was upset with me (understandably) at first. She did (genuinely not sarcastically) thank me for giving them a real out of a hasty young marriage that was not meant to go on for as long as it had. It seems they both held onto their roots in that there is no reason for divorce but in the end would take any reason. Its a bit odd to hear because they didn't fight and weren't miserable but their relationship just lacked so much intimacy and real love and was built on the wrong foundation. They are not in contact except for all things divorce and seem to be pretty amicable and honestly, happier already even through the pain I can see for wasting so many years. She is an awesome woman and I've always thought so. I really feel lucky for how everything has turned out. He is hurting still but mostly because she's been half of his life and he just isn't used to not having her around. This means he spends half of each week at my house and really only goes to his to sleep. but is really understanding about giving me my space and has told me that he doesn't want to just jump into the same sort of life with me that he had with her for the sake of comfortability. I really think that we turned this around and did it the right way. I thank everyone for the kind words and comments along the way that inspired me to talk to her, I really felt like I needed to own the situation as he was. I will add that I am one of the lucky ones and though my situation has kind of turned out perfectly, it is very rare and I am grateful. I just think its good to have some sort of positivity on here. It CAN actually happen. Rarely, but it CAN.

 

OW - Go about it the right way. You can turn things around, it's not too late if you really want to and if he loves you, he will want to do things the right way too. Don't get lost in any negativity or think that you aren't of value because of your status as the OW. You deserve to be loved as any other woman. Period.

[msblissful]

I followed your story from the beginning and had hoped you would come back for a update though you did get some negative responses so I understood why you decided to keep away. I'm glad you are happy and that things are going well and I hope it continues to do so.

 

Enjoy this time

[msblissful]

I also wanted to ask how people respond to the age difference in you and your partner? There is a 21 year gap between me and my MM, I'm the youngest. When we are together there is no issue and I don't notice it but I do wonder how people will respond if it ever gets to the stage you are at

[Lurkeraspect]

Congrats! When's the wedding?

[andreprisal]

I also wanted to ask how people respond to the age difference in you and your partner? There is a 21 year gap between me and my MM, I'm the youngest. When we are together there is no issue and I don't notice it but I do wonder how people will respond if it ever gets to the stage you are at

 

 

That's a good question. We don't just go around talking about the age difference but it is obvious that there is a large gap. People haven't said anything to my face but I'm sure there are some questions or comments made behind our backs as one can only expect. I have met some of his best friends now and they seem to have accepted me because of how close they are with my man. He is not one to "chase tail" or younger women for that matter. they know that he is serious about being with me by the way we interact, at least it seems that way. I really wish I could share him with this post. He is just that guy that everyone latches onto because hes so personable, funny, polite, smart, humble. He just isn't the kind of man that plays games and because of that people who know him know how genuine our relationship is. As you'll see from responses on many of these threads you can't sway everyone and in all honesty it's not your job to. Just do things the right way and whether that ends you up with your MM or you find yourself single, the outcome has no choice but to be the right one, you know?

[Lurkeraspect]

That's a good question. We don't just go around talking about the age difference but it is obvious that there is a large gap. People haven't said anything to my face but I'm sure there are some questions or comments made behind our backs as one can only expect. I have met some of his best friends now and they seem to have accepted me because of how close they are with my man. He is not one to "chase tail" or younger women for that matter. they know that he is serious about being with me by the way we interact, at least it seems that way. I really wish I could share him with this post. He is just that guy that everyone latches onto because hes so personable, funny, polite, smart, humble. He just isn't the kind of man that plays games and because of that people who know him know how genuine our relationship is. As you'll see from responses on many of these threads you can't sway everyone and in all honesty it's not your job to. Just do things the right way and whether that ends you up with your MM or you find yourself single, the outcome has no choice but to be the right one, you know?

 

 

Im genuially interested in the your statement above, as you've said it twice.

 

What exactly did you "do" the "right way"? What advice would you give all the masses of OW who aren't doing things (as you say) the right way? What would you advise the OW who have lost years and decades to a MM?

 

Having read all your threads, you didn't "do" anything. You engaged in an affair, HE told his wife, and HE left. You got lucky (or not) and met a man who shouldn't be married and will likely give you the same ride he gave his wife. Looks fade, youth withers, your age difference will one day matter, and he'll (or you) be moving on to the next one.

 

I mean come on, it's been 10 days, he's not divorced, you don't have a crystal ball, and you have zero way of knowing what the future holds for you and your beloved.