xyz0123 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Hey guys. Some of you may know my story. It's not that important right now. I'm writing because it's just 00:35 AM and I feel like crap even though it's been 2 months after break up. (3 years relationship) The thing is.. She broke up with me. We don't talk but only since some weeks. Through that time I couldn't help but notice how her life has been.. There is a thing that is killing me. I see her falling down and it's just.. I can't do anything about it. Examples.. She never liked to drink, hated alcohol. Now she does drink a lot. On the other hand she is posting things about how happy she is etc. I heard she also smokes.. She hated that as well even more than alcohol. Other things are that she is going and flirting with many guys at once. I completely don't understand that because she's never been kind of girl that does things like that.. She's been always quiet, social but in a way that is normal, never made drama or anything. She's changed so drastically, so fast? I don't understand it. I am still in love, I still do care about her and it's just breaking my heart just as strong as the break up she did. Is this something normal? Have you guy seen this kind of behavior in dumpers? Usually it's dumpee that falls down, gets depressed.. I have no idea how it is with her really, but it just doesn't look good.
ZiggyZoo Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Stoooooop following her on social media or whatever. That's got to be tough to see, and there's nothing you can do about it. Sometimes we all have to hit rock bottom before we can climb back up, you know? But don't hurt yourself more, and don't be a spectator to it. Breakups can be hard on the dumper, sure. But she chose to go on without you, you have to let her even if it means she doesn't handle it very well. These are her mistakes to make, and her recovery to figure out.
lana-banana Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 This doesn't sound like "falling down" to me; it sounds like the typical cutting loose young people often do after getting out of serious relationships. She's young. She's still learning who she is, independently, and trying on new identities like new clothes. That's what being young is all about. Even if she was struggling, it wouldn't be your issue. You need to focus on yourself and your own life. I thought I hated alcohol until I discovered scotch. Been a whiskey nut ever since!
spiderowl Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 At a guess, she broke up because her feelings had changed but that doesn't mean that she isn't distressed at losing a relationship and being on her own. It does sound like she's gone off the rails a bit but you can't bother yourself with this now: it was her choice to break up. I know you love her and it's painful to see; this is why you need to cut off contact with her via various methods and on social networking so you don't see what she's getting up to. If this girl wanted you back in her life worrying about her, she would be on your doorstep. Please ignore her for your own sake and look after yourself. You are suffering too. xx
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