lostinamore Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Here is a transcript of a conversation my friend had with my ex a few days ago...I'd like to see if there is an opportunity to discuss reconciliation (together for 20 months, broken up for 6 months). He broke up with me: Friend: i wanted to let you know i met with lostinamore today Friend: we had dinner Ex:Nice! How is she? Friend: you mentioned a while ago that you would maybe contact her after march Friend: she is better Ex:To be honest I am not there yet Ex: Which is weird Friend: she is interested in talking to you Ex: I think I'm so wiped I'm not in a good state Friend wiped from the tests and work? Ex: Tests, then work Ex: It's horrible right now Friends: are you done with it? Ex: the tests Friend: but i'm assuming work is challening Ex: I need to change offices Ex: I'm stretched too thin and not doing what I want Friend: ic Friend: i know she wants to talk to you Ex: Okay Friend: to gain some peace of mind i think Friend: and to appologize Ex: She shouldn't be concerned about apologizing Ex: But I understand closure Ex:I need it Ex:But maybe next month Ex: When things settle for me Friend: Ok Friend: I know she misses talking to you. Friend:She is doing a lot more self care Ex: That's good Ex:I would like to talk to her too Ex: But I need more time Ex: And if she misses talking to me that worrys me a bit.
Cinnamonstix Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I'm going to be blunt. It does not sound like he is interested in reconciliation at this time. I would refrain from having friends talk to him for you (if that's what happened here, because if I were your ex, I would take it that way.) All that 6 mos of NC and having your friend talk to him sorta puts you back at day one, I'm afraid to say. Now he knows what you're thinking and feeling. The best thing you can do is stay NC. No more friends talking about you to him, unless they are saying how great you're doing without him! Then, if he does get in contact with you when things slow down for him, I would ignore it unless he says he wants you back. 2
ZiggyZoo Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 It sounded to me like your friend was leading the conversation, trying to force him to say that he'll call you. Most of what he said was excuses for why he wasn't going to call. I don't think he's interested in reconciliation at all, honestly, actually quite the opposite. I'm with cinnamonstix, your friend should never have done this. It's pretty obvious what she was doing, and it's absolutely set your recovery back. Best to continue your NC and take this as a final confirmation that it really IS over. I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear. 2
BC1980 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 No, he's not interested in reconciliation. He came up with excuses not to talk to you. I definitely wouldn't have a friend talk to your ex in an attempt to "feel him out." That conversation came off as pushy. Just leave him be and move on. 1
spiderowl Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I'm sorry, I don't think he wants to talk or reconcile. It sounds like he's distancing himself. He is worried you'll get attached to him again. He'll come up with multiple excuses. He's just postponing as the easiest way to say no at the moment. It is time to give up on this one. You could be meeting a guy who thinks the world of you and can't wait to spend time with you. Even if he didn't turn out to be the love of your life, it would be so much better than the reluctance of your ex.
lana-banana Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 He said outright he's worried you haven't moved on yet. He is not interested in reconciliation. I'm sorry, OP, but at least you don't have to wonder anymore. Best of luck moving forward. I promise you five years from now you'll barely remember this guy.
hunk Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Yeah, gonna echo everyone else here. He's not interested at all. Your friend came off WAY too over the top and pushy, basically forcing the idea of you onto him and it was probably making him really uncomfortable. "if she misses talking to me that worries me a bit" This is all you need to take from this, if my ex said this about me I would be INSTANTLY turned off and not want anything to do with them. Good luck
Author lostinamore Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 It's unfortunate that everything is on his time table
Simon Phoenix Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 It's unfortunate that everything is on his time table I'm not sure why you feel compelled to share a timetable with him. Make your own timetable filled with items that don't involve him. And tell your friend to stop pressing the issue -- she was definitely pushing that conversation and I can tell your ex was not feeling it. 2
BC1980 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 It's unfortunate that everything is on his time table He doesn't consider you in his timetable, so don't consider him in yours. It's harsh but the truth.
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