Ashley S Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Hi! So it's about Anthony. The guy that I don't know, and vacations in Florida, but actually lives here. Well, I commented on his pic, and he private messaged me on FB, and this is the conversation. Him: When are we hanging out? Me: Yeah, lol. When and where? Him: Beermuda, then my place lol. (Beermuda is a bar) Me: Lol, Lincoln might be there (Lincoln is a crazy guy that he is really close with, and I got into a fight with Lincoln because he's psychotic, and was psychotically texting me) Him: Hell no, it's just me and you. It's a date lol. You should stay over my place and party. Me: We can go to the Beermuda, but I am not that kind of girl that goes home with guys lol. Him: I'm not saying sex. i'm saying watch a movie and cuddle, damn lol. Me: I would like to meet you at the bar, but maybe if things go good, i'll watch a movie haha. Him: Lol, ok. Sounds good. Me: Sorry, I'm just trying to straight up like I'm not trying to give you the wrong impression. Him: lol ok. Me: It's totally cool if you don't want to meet up with me haha. I'm just being straight up, but you seem cool. Either way I will respect your decision. Him: I def want to meet up Me: Ok, cool! Message me tomorrow with plans lol. Him: kk I don't know if I want to meet up with him lol. I found out from two other guys, that he has HIV from using needles when he was a Heroin Addict, I can't deal with that what so ever. In the same breath, I would like to meet him just to see what he's all about because I never met him. I was straight forward with him. What does this sound like to you? I was thinking about going with my friend to meet him, and not go alone to meet him, but then again, I feel like just blowing him off. I have no idea what to do? I honestly thought he was going to say "**** off" basically when I said I wasn't the kind of girl that goes home with guys. He has to know what he's getting himself into, but hopefully he won't even message me. I am so confused. I don't know if I should meet up with or not? What do you think?
Gary S Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 You never met and he wants to bring you home? He's HIV positive? You need to cut contact and talk to other guys sweetie. 9
Jessie1231 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 If you say you're not the kind of girl who has sex with someone but in the same conversation you explain that maybe you'll go home with him, he's definitely still thinking you're going home to have sex with him. Any guy who suggests watching a movie and "cuddling" on a first meet really isn't into more than sex. 4
fitnessfan365 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Haha.. This guy is FOS (full of $hit). He knows damn well that he doesn't just want to watch a movie. Good for you for calling him on that Ashley. But if you're looking to meet a guy that will take you seriously that you can get serious with, ignore ALL guys that suggest a first date at their place. Guys who actually want to get to know you as as a person, won't do that. 1
Author Ashley S Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 Thanks everyone! It sucks because I just want to meet him to meet him, and know him, but then again, I don't, because I don't want to give him the wrong impression that I will hook up with him. Obviously he's looking for that, and I am not the "hook up" type, so it won't work. I will never go out with him if he really does have Aids. I just don't want to be rude, or ignorant. Like I'll be his supportive friend because he's a recovering Heroin Addict, and I will give him encouragement to stay clean, and be a positive influence in his life, but I don't think I can be anymore than that. If he was just a player, fine, but he has Aids, and that is something I can't do. The most I can be is a friend with no benefits lol. Should I tell him that? Or should I meet him and tell him that? Or should I just cancel, or blow him off? I have no idea what to do lol.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 (edited) Thanks everyone! It sucks because I just want to meet him to meet him, and know him, but then again, I don't, because I don't want to give him the wrong impression that I will hook up with him. Obviously he's looking for that, and I am not the "hook up" type, so it won't work. I will never go out with him if he really does have Aids. I just don't want to be rude, or ignorant. Like I'll be his supportive friend because he's a recovering Heroin Addict, and I will give him encouragement to stay clean, and be a positive influence in his life, but I don't think I can be anymore than that. If he was just a player, fine, but he has Aids, and that is something I can't do. The most I can be is a friend with no benefits lol. Should I tell him that? Or should I meet him and tell him that? Or should I just cancel, or blow him off? I have no idea what to do lol. You realize he has family other friends to fill that role, right? Don't play Florence Nightingale. That's not what he's looking for from you. You don't even know this guy. He's a big boy who knows how to play his cards, and he knows that if he can get you back to his house for "a movie" he'll probably get you in bed. You're very likely not the only girl he's fishing for either. Don't go there. You don't need to explain yourself, or cite his HIV status (without knowing if that's true) Stay away from this guy. Based on your other threads about this guy, and his apparent level of immaturity, I'm not sure why you'd even want to be friends with him Edited April 12, 2015 by ExpatInItaly 4
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Thanks everyone! It sucks because I just want to meet him to meet him, and know him, but then again, I don't, because I don't want to give him the wrong impression that I will hook up with him. Obviously he's looking for that, and I am not the "hook up" type, so it won't work. I will never go out with him if he really does have Aids. I just don't want to be rude, or ignorant. Like I'll be his supportive friend because he's a recovering Heroin Addict, and I will give him encouragement to stay clean, and be a positive influence in his life, but I don't think I can be anymore than that. If he was just a player, fine, but he has Aids, and that is something I can't do. The most I can be is a friend with no benefits lol. Should I tell him that? Or should I meet him and tell him that? Or should I just cancel, or blow him off? I have no idea what to do lol. You owe this guy nothing. If there's a lot wrong with him or he's sketchy why would you. Just tell him you are not interested and be done with it. 1
Author Ashley S Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 You realize he has family other friends to fill that role, right? Don't play Florence Nightingale. That's not what he's looking for from you. You don't even know this guy. He's a big boy who knows how to play his cards, and he knows that if he can get you back to his house for "a movie" he'll probably get you in bed. You're very likely not the only girl he's fishing for either. Don't go there. You don't need to explain yourself, or cite his HIV status (without knowing if that's true) Stay away from this guy. Based on your other threads about this guy, and his apparent level of immaturity, I'm not sure why you'd even want to be friends with him Very good points! This is something I needed. Thank you so much! I do realize I am not the only girl he has eyes set on haha, he's a player, and it's obvious, I don't think even being a platonic friend would help, so you're right about that, and you're right that he has friends, and family that will support him. He knows tons of people, so I would be no different. You're response made a world of difference because now I made a final decision to not meet him, and I am no longer switching back and forth and saying "Well, maybe just meet to meet him, and possibly be his friend." or "Don't meet him, he's bad news." Now I am just like "Don't meet him!" All because of your response, somehow it really made a difference. Thanks! 2
ExpatInItaly Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Very good points! This is something I needed. Thank you so much! I do realize I am not the only girl he has eyes set on haha, he's a player, and it's obvious, I don't think even being a platonic friend would help, so you're right about that, and you're right that he has friends, and family that will support him. He knows tons of people, so I would be no different. You're response made a world of difference because now I made a final decision to not meet him, and I am no longer switching back and forth and saying "Well, maybe just meet to meet him, and possibly be his friend." or "Don't meet him, he's bad news." Now I am just like "Don't meet him!" All because of your response, somehow it really made a difference. Thanks! Good! You don't need the added drama. He isn't looking to be a friend. He sounds sketchy and not sincere about his intentions. Don't communicate with him any further. If he asks again to meet you, just say you're busy and leave it at that. At 30, he's too old for this anyway.
preraph Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Maybe I'm wrong, but over your many posts, I keep getting the impression that you can't say no to guys in general. So someone HIV-positive is not someone you should tempt fate with. 3
shvrk Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I would only do it out of curiosity but he wants to bring you home for a movie. I wouldn't worry about this guy one bit. Sounds like it would be trouble. 1
smackie9 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Ashley you can't be a push over all your life.....people end up not respecting you, and take advantage of you.....in other words bad things will keep happening. 1
Author Ashley S Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Lol, luckily he didn't message me to hangout or anything! He didn't contact me what so ever, it kinda sucks because he's really nice looking, but he's a player, and possibly has Aids. I can't deal with that. I guess because I am not his kind of girl, but oh well lol. Thanks everyone for commenting and sharing your input! It helped a lot!
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Read the post, jumping in late though. He is definitely trying to get some sex from you. If I were you I'd stay away from this one, doesn't sound like quality relationship material. Even if you don't intend on anything happening, who knows what you'll be thinking after drinking ? (probably his plan) You don't want to have a lifetime of HIV for one bad mistake. Since you don't know him very well, don't rule out date rape either. I recommend you abort, but whatever you do, BE CAREFUL.
mammasita Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 WTF?!!!!! Who are these people you associate with. OMFG.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Whoh.. He's HIV positive and you actually had to come on and ask if you should still meet him? Ashley, why do you have such a low opinion of yourself, and such low self esteem? You're a beautiful young woman and don't deserve anything less than a healthy well adjusted guy that will treat you well in the end. Whenever I read posts from you, you're always talking down on yourself, or associating with people that are at the bottom of the barrel. I mean honestly. A guy that mentions hanging out at his place on date one, that's also HIV positive? Have you ever considered getting some therapy and talking to someone that can help you create a better self image? 1
Diezel Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Ashley, what in the blue heck is wrong with you? So you tell him you aren't "that kind of girl", but then you say you might go "watch a movie if things go well"? And you heard from 2 different people that he might be HIV positive? At some point, not sure when, but some of us are going to believe that you are either making up these stories or that you are seriously this naive and hard up for attention. 1
DrReplyInRhymes Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 First off, don't mind the hive-mind these forums possess, But they do have some good advice sometimes, mostly with distress. I don't see anything wrong trying to be someone's friend, Who knows, you may hit it off and have a lifelong connection to the end. However, I think it's fair to the guy to CONFIRM what you heard, Just because other people spread rumors doesn't mean there's truth to their word, HIV is certainly a serious affliction and one that should be regarded with care, How much would it suck to find out it wasn't true with the truth in the air? To point out the hypocrisy this board often implies, Just look for the herpes/hpv thread and see those replies, HIV is arguablY more manageable than herpes, with medication from today, That still doesn't give you a reason to jump in the sack by the way. But to discredit a friendship and a possible connection, or whatever it may be, Based solely on hearsay without ever asking him?....now that's a tragedy. But if you can't trust yourself to keep your panties on during a flick, Then I think you have bigger problems than a guy who may or may not be sick.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 First off, don't mind the hive-mind these forums possess, But they do have some good advice sometimes, mostly with distress. I don't see anything wrong trying to be someone's friend, Who knows, you may hit it off and have a lifelong connection to the end. However, I think it's fair to the guy to CONFIRM what you heard, Just because other people spread rumors doesn't mean there's truth to their word, HIV is certainly a serious affliction and one that should be regarded with care, How much would it suck to find out it wasn't true with the truth in the air? To point out the hypocrisy this board often implies, Just look for the herpes/hpv thread and see those replies, HIV is arguablY more manageable than herpes, with medication from today, That still doesn't give you a reason to jump in the sack by the way. But to discredit a friendship and a possible connection, or whatever it may be, Based solely on hearsay without ever asking him?....now that's a tragedy. But if you can't trust yourself to keep your panties on during a flick, Then I think you have bigger problems than a guy who may or may not be sick. I know you like playing the Devil's Advocate DrReply, but HIV is not more manageable than Herpes... Lol. If you don't medicate for HIV, you will DIE - and not a very pretty death at that. If you do medicate for HIV you can live a semi-normal life in most cases, but the pills cost ****LOADS OF MONEY!!! Also they're a pain to take apparently, and you have to be extremely consistent with their use or they lose effectiveness. If you don't medicate for Herpes, you might never have an outbreak anyways. Most people don't even know they have it. If there's a chance that he has HIV and she doesn't know him well or trust him, she should keep her interactions strictly in public. Otherwise she could become a victim of date rape and get HIV. I recommend she just doesn't meet him, because in past threads the OP has exhibited poor decisions while intoxicated, and he asked her out to a bar.
Redhead14 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Hi! So it's about Anthony. The guy that I don't know, and vacations in Florida, but actually lives here. Well, I commented on his pic, and he private messaged me on FB, and this is the conversation. Him: When are we hanging out? Me: Yeah, lol. When and where? Him: Beermuda, then my place lol. (Beermuda is a bar) Me: Lol, Lincoln might be there (Lincoln is a crazy guy that he is really close with, and I got into a fight with Lincoln because he's psychotic, and was psychotically texting me) Him: Hell no, it's just me and you. It's a date lol. You should stay over my place and party. Me: We can go to the Beermuda, but I am not that kind of girl that goes home with guys lol. Him: I'm not saying sex. i'm saying watch a movie and cuddle, damn lol. Me: I would like to meet you at the bar, but maybe if things go good, i'll watch a movie haha. Him: Lol, ok. Sounds good. Me: Sorry, I'm just trying to straight up like I'm not trying to give you the wrong impression. Him: lol ok. Me: It's totally cool if you don't want to meet up with me haha. I'm just being straight up, but you seem cool. Either way I will respect your decision. Him: I def want to meet up Me: Ok, cool! Message me tomorrow with plans lol. Him: kk I don't know if I want to meet up with him lol. I found out from two other guys, that he has HIV from using needles when he was a Heroin Addict, I can't deal with that what so ever. In the same breath, I would like to meet him just to see what he's all about because I never met him. I was straight forward with him. What does this sound like to you? I was thinking about going with my friend to meet him, and not go alone to meet him, but then again, I feel like just blowing him off. I have no idea what to do? I honestly thought he was going to say "**** off" basically when I said I wasn't the kind of girl that goes home with guys. He has to know what he's getting himself into, but hopefully he won't even message me. I am so confused. I don't know if I should meet up with or not? What do you think? Ashley, this is the same guy who lied about knowing and having met you on social media. Now he has other "issues" as well? Leave it alone You don't need another dysfunctional person in your life for any reason. Lot's of us here have been trying to get to you get away from the immature, dysfunctional friends you've had. Don't add another one to the mix. We love you and want you to be happy 1
Diezel Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I recommend she just doesn't meet him, because in past threads the OP has exhibited poor decisions while intoxicated, and he asked her out to a bar. It's just a bad idea all around. She knows it. Still entertains the idea. Standards are LOW in Ashley land. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Lol, luckily he didn't message me to hangout or anything! He didn't contact me what so ever, it kinda sucks because he's really nice looking, but he's a player, and possibly has Aids. I can't deal with that. I guess because I am not his kind of girl, but oh well lol. Thanks everyone for commenting and sharing your input! It helped a lot! You have this totally arse-backwards. You should be saying: "He's not my type of guy." Where on Earth are your standards?! You cannot be that desperate for male attention. 2
DrReplyInRhymes Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I know you like playing the Devil's Advocate DrReply, but HIV is not more manageable than Herpes... Lol. If you don't medicate for HIV, you will DIE - and not a very pretty death at that. If you do medicate for HIV you can live a semi-normal life in most cases, but the pills cost ****LOADS OF MONEY!!! Also they're a pain to take apparently, and you have to be extremely consistent with their use or they lose effectiveness. If you don't medicate for Herpes, you might never have an outbreak anyways. Most people don't even know they have it. If there's a chance that he has HIV and she doesn't know him well or trust him, she should keep her interactions strictly in public. Otherwise she could become a victim of date rape and get HIV. I recommend she just doesn't meet him, because in past threads the OP has exhibited poor decisions while intoxicated, and he asked her out to a bar. You are right with your thoughts barcode, I can easily say, But there's a reason I chose to phrase it as I did, in that exact way. Moving on however, my point lies with the "gossip" that started the debate, Because some of those rumors are asinine and started with hate. And to continue the stereotype, you even went as far as to claim, That he may daterape her to give her HIV and the same? How would you feel if you were this person, and she was interested in you, and the guys she's not interested in found out & decided to spread a rumor or two? As for Ashley and her intentions, no one has the right to control her fate, and to deny her the privilege of friendship without even wanting to wait, For the truth of the claim to bear itself out in plain view, Well, I think that's just extremely foolish, & I would hope you do too. 1
Phoe Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 If this were a guy that you actually knew in person, who wasn't states away, who seemed to have genuine intentions in hanging out, then sure. But this guy is trying to get you alone. Do you really want to be alone with this strange man, knowing that his intentions really aren't innocent? This is shady. Shady! 1
Author Ashley S Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Wow, I don't know why everyone is jumping down my throat when I just said that we didn't meet up and I followed everyone's advice. I don't want to meet nor am I going to. I think you people just like to insult people for the sake of insulting! Because I just gave an update to tell everyone that I appreciated everyone's advice, and that I didn't meet him. So, I don't know why you all are going off on me lol? Saying I am looking for attention and what not...geez!!! If I was looking for attention, I would have met up with him regardless of the situation, and I wouldn't be so strong in my decision. I am strong in my decision, and I really don't care to meet him now. At first I was back and forth, but I am not anymore, so I do have standards, and I don't need attention. I don't know how many more times I have to explain myself, and say that I like to post on here for anonymous reasons. I don't like to talk to my friends about these people I talk about because it will get back to them. I like to hear other peoples perspectives and views. I don't like to hear my friends only, I like to expand, and see what the world thinks. Is that such a crime? I thought that was the purpose of this forum? All I get is horrible judgement when in reality I don't know any of you, and none of you know me, so the rude comments about me can be left out. I am not clinging onto this guy, I ditched him, so why is everyone bashing me still? What is wrong here? LOL.
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