ArcaKran Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Hello! My girlfriend and I got together not too long ago. I would like to say that I really do love her very much for the person she is. Unfortunately, I believe that I have been making her very upset these past days. During the initial stages of our union I have already set out clearly that I might not be able to see her as often as we like to. To give you the context, we live in an Asian society and are both in the education sector. I have told her that I can only promise to see her once every 2 weeks, but she says she'd like to see my twice as often, of which I really have no objections but my schedule does. Mark my words, I have been trying my best to meet her as much as I can, with my family and school commitment more often than always tying me away from her. So just earlier on today she said, by implication, that she was very very upset with our current state of affairs and hence is only considering seeing me via FaceTime. This would keep her hopes lower so as not to be disappointed. I am really unsure of what to do next. I would love to see her everyday but as both of us know, I can't. After reading up on a couple of forums, especially on how frequently couples meet weekly, I feel very ashamed of myself. Am I being too ignorant of her? Am I not committed enough to her? How can I change for the better? Your response will be very much appreciated.
GemmaUK Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I take it you are long distance or you work away a lot?
azjane85331 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Why are you unable to see her more frequently?
Author ArcaKran Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 First of all we are from different schools. The second and I believe the more important factor is our schedules. As such I really cannot meet her as much as I'd like to...
Author ArcaKran Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 @GemmaUK neither, I'm afraid. I'm currently still schooling~
GemmaUK Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Do you not get any free time in the evenings ever? What is your schedule exactly?
Author ArcaKran Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 My apologies that I forget to give more information on our meeting timings. Due to the nature of our relationship, we are only restricted to meeting early in the morning or late at night. Currently my classes and activities ends at about 8/9pm, exclusive of the completion of assignments.
Author ArcaKran Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 And Yes indeed, you may consider the nature of our relationship 'complicated' by factors that cannot be changed.
Gary S Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 For a happy, healthy relationship that can last, I suggest at least one date a week. A date every two weeks is flirting with danger, you can grow apart. Lovers need affection, romance periodically, lovers need love to stay in love.
GemmaUK Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 So, meeting up more often than every two weeks is actually possible then. I am inclined to think she is doing the right thing for her and she is likely just waiting until your situation changes. When I met my long term man we would meet up at 8.30/9pm for an evening out and easily managed to see each other 2-3 times a week. If you are unable to do that then long distance or not dating might be a better option for you just now.
azjane85331 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 My apologies that I forget to give more information on our meeting timings. Due to the nature of our relationship, we are only restricted to meeting early in the morning or late at night. Currently my classes and activities ends at about 8/9pm, exclusive of the completion of assignments. Then why don't you see her then? She isn't worth losing some sleep over?
Author ArcaKran Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 I also have to abide to my parents in their setting of my curfew, which is to be home by 10 latest on most occasions. Occasional they'd allow me to stay out later than usual, and those are the days I will be able to meet her. Of course, these special circumstances don't come frequently.
Author ArcaKran Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 I see... Well how long of a meet up would you define as a meaningful one? My fear is that our meet ups may be too short (half an hour perhaps?). Whenever I spend time with her it'd be at least 2/3 hours, and usually till late after midnight. Of course, you can expect my parents to be very upset over this.
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