CurlyIam Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Merin, Alpha's so full of crap he ain't even funny. WHO leaves a WOMAN all alone in Mexico? I mean, this is not Europe, this ain't no freaking Italy or Spain, it's MExico! What will those dudes do, talk to you in Rennaissance poems? I think that's highly irrespectfull. Ok. Then: who does he think he is leaving like that, without letting you know? I am all for one day free from eachoter, a day where I'd do the shopping and sunbase, NOT a day when he'll leave me with "the guys". I think you're really trying too hard. YOu cooked for him??? Wow, Merin, I'd marry you if that were allowed. I really would. I mean who wouldn't want that in their house? You've handled the situation like a real lady. You've saved the relationship, girl. YOU alone!!! I hope you love him with all his heart and that he's making you happy, because from what you've shared in this thread... he doesn't desirve you, irrespective of what he's been going through! You kick a$$, girl!
Maria46 Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 So now she knows you exist!!!! Am glad for you and hope things keep improving for you!!
glow2 Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Merin....blame it on Mexico. Down there, sh*t like this happens all the time to the tourists - and it's ALWAYS alcohol related. Couples fighting, women being left stranded, flirtations with others (either unwanted or sometimes initiated), people losing all sense of judgement due to the high alcohol consumption and non-stop party atmosphere, people having indiscrimate sex with others. It's very common. I've visiting Mexico a dozen times, and seen it all - even paritcipated in stuff I'm too ashamed to admit - things I would NEVER dream of doing back home. So all in all, it seems to be a locale where some tourists temporarily lose their inhibitions, while with others it can bring out their deepest insecurities. My advice is to not judge your boyfriend based on a one week vacation to a location where EVERYONE goes a little nuttso.
BigB Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Merin, you sound like the best girlfriend EVAR. cooking, and laundry, and coffee, while your mad...
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 LOL Curly.. I accept! LOL Thank you girl... I really do love him a lot... we'll see where things go from here. Maria.. Yes she finally saw me and so yeah... she knows yay! LOL Where that will go now I have no idea but she was cool about things and that made me feel much better. Glow.. It's funny because one of my GF's was in Mexico with her BF a couple of weeks before I went... they had a great time only to break up AS SOON as they got home... damn! LOL me and my BF had it out IN Mexico... hmmm something about going to Mexico with your SO doesn't seem so good now? LOL BigB.. Thank you I try.. but like Curly said.. maybe I try to hard sometimes... Mucho Gracias Everyone
CurlyIam Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Merin, there's no shame in loving someone deeply and in doing what it takes to make it better. As long as he appreciates it and is just as dedicated to you as you are to him. I guess you'll see that when the time comes. Hugs, Curly P.S. I am honoured by your accepting my humble proposal. I'll keep it in mind, just in case .
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam Merin, there's no shame in loving someone deeply and in doing what it takes to make it better. As long as he appreciates it and is just as dedicated to you as you are to him. I guess you'll see that when the time comes. Hugs, Curly P.S. I am honoured by your accepting my humble proposal. I'll keep it in mind, just in case . Time will most definately give me the answers I suppose.... BUT just incase... I am keeping your proposal in mind As you (and a lot of people here) know I have a lot of issues DAMN! LOL but I'm working on them and trying to make things better for me... thanks again honey!
Mz. Pixie Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 See, I don't post on the weekends and see what happens??? Then I try to post a response earlier but work issues got in the way- what's up with that? Don't they know that I'm busy? I'm glad that you had a semi great time in Mexico anyway. Here's my .02- I'll try to keep from rambling......... From your descriptions I've always got the impression that your bf is a pretty macho guy. I truly believe that he loves you- but I think he wants to control the relationship. I think he feels that if he puts certain restrictions on things that he has more control and perhaps can control the outcome unlike his marriage? Leaving you in Mexico totally alone with people you really didn't know- very wrong! Accusing you of kissing another guy? Very wrong especially when he knows good and well you didn't. Consider for a second the alcohol- which makes things that are simmering beneath the surface rear their ugly head sometimes?? Also doesn't he sometimes like to partake of a little pot? Could he have been having some that night? Just a thought?? Also, I think he was freaked after he accused you of kissing another guy and acting so horribly to you that he didn't really know what to do- how to fix it? So he was all gruff and wanting to end the relationship and trying to save face just like a macho guy would, only he didn't really want to end the relationship. He especially doesn't want you to see anyone else! The ex wife stuff? Yeah, that's all wierd. But think about it for a second- as far as the brakes go. What if he was concerned about his kiddos riding around in a car without good brakes?? I disagree with you on the presents thing though. I totally expect my exh to take the kids shopping for my birthday and such, but I will thank them for the gift, not him. I also will buy him things for his birthday from them. My mom always did this for me for my dad, and I just think it's the right thing. Not mushy stuff but just gifts- let them pick them out. Also, he hasn't had a serious relationship with anyone since the divorce, perhaps it was a big step in letting her see you and meet you? I'm not totally defending him- I think he has a long way to go in becoming what you would truly like him to be in this relationship. He's going to have to compromise some. He's not real big on talk is he? He's going to have to start doing some of that too. I think it was very sweet of you to do his laundry and such. I do things like that for my bf all the time, since he works really three jobs right now. If I'm over there waiting on him to come home, I cook and clean just like I would at home. I consider it a act of service because I love him and not something I do expecting something in return. It sounds like that is the way you feel about it too. I think you can still make this relationship work if he wants to try. Perhaps you two can sit down and have a real talk now that no one is angry??? That way you can let him know you're willing to work on it if he will meet you part of the way?
Barby Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Merin OMG! I'm so sorry that your vacation went sour! I'm sooo sorry girl!! BUT I'm so happy that things are looking up again! I agree that he feels the need to be in control...................he's probably scared sh*tless because you're an extremely beautiful woman and he's probably head over heals in love with you and terrified he'l be hurt in the end so when he feels he's in "too deep" he "tries" to pull back and chill but obviously he "does" care about how you feel, what you want........he went ahead and brought you around his EXW because that was one of your concerns....it probably just took him some time to work up the courage.... Anyway I'm very happy for you and as always will continue to hope that things work out and that you two live happily ever after!
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie See, I don't post on the weekends and see what happens??? Then I try to post a response earlier but work issues got in the way- what's up with that? Don't they know that I'm busy? I'm glad that you had a semi great time in Mexico anyway. Here's my .02- I'll try to keep from rambling......... From your descriptions I've always got the impression that your bf is a pretty macho guy. I truly believe that he loves you- but I think he wants to control the relationship. I think he feels that if he puts certain restrictions on things that he has more control and perhaps can control the outcome unlike his marriage? Leaving you in Mexico totally alone with people you really didn't know- very wrong! Accusing you of kissing another guy? Very wrong especially when he knows good and well you didn't. Consider for a second the alcohol- which makes things that are simmering beneath the surface rear their ugly head sometimes?? Also doesn't he sometimes like to partake of a little pot? Could he have been having some that night? Just a thought?? Also, I think he was freaked after he accused you of kissing another guy and acting so horribly to you that he didn't really know what to do- how to fix it? So he was all gruff and wanting to end the relationship and trying to save face just like a macho guy would, only he didn't really want to end the relationship. He especially doesn't want you to see anyone else! The ex wife stuff? Yeah, that's all wierd. But think about it for a second- as far as the brakes go. What if he was concerned about his kiddos riding around in a car without good brakes?? I disagree with you on the presents thing though. I totally expect my exh to take the kids shopping for my birthday and such, but I will thank them for the gift, not him. I also will buy him things for his birthday from them. My mom always did this for me for my dad, and I just think it's the right thing. Not mushy stuff but just gifts- let them pick them out. Also, he hasn't had a serious relationship with anyone since the divorce, perhaps it was a big step in letting her see you and meet you? I'm not totally defending him- I think he has a long way to go in becoming what you would truly like him to be in this relationship. He's going to have to compromise some. He's not real big on talk is he? He's going to have to start doing some of that too. I think it was very sweet of you to do his laundry and such. I do things like that for my bf all the time, since he works really three jobs right now. If I'm over there waiting on him to come home, I cook and clean just like I would at home. I consider it a act of service because I love him and not something I do expecting something in return. It sounds like that is the way you feel about it too. I think you can still make this relationship work if he wants to try. Perhaps you two can sit down and have a real talk now that no one is angry??? That way you can let him know you're willing to work on it if he will meet you part of the way? My BF is that guy who believes "Guys don't cry" absolutely! He hates to not be in control of whats going on around him or with him.. and I know he's afraid. He told me before that his biggest fear is that one day I will not be there for him when he's given me all he has that it will be lost.. and I know it's past baggage that drives him a lot of the time. I want to make it clear that I didn't have a problem with him getting his EXW a gift for her Bday IF it had been his kids that were wanting that... it wasn't his kids who asked him, so yeah.. couple that with him straight up telling me he wasn't doing anything for me for Vtines day, not even a damn card but then he busted his butt getting his EXW a gift for her Bday when it wasn't his kids who were all about it... yeah pissed me off. BUT I digress... LOL that is just not something I'm all about doing for my EXH... IF my Little people ask me if they can get thier Dad something, then I will do that for them (My kids) but I will not under any circumstances do that for him (my EXH) This is the same with when my kids have Birthdays... we (me and my EXH) share the day for our kids bdays.. him having them in the morning and me the afternoon or vice versa... but hell no we do not plan big parties where all the EX-Inlaws can get together and glare at one another... so maybe thats just me... I love my BF very much and I don't want to end the relationship... I'm still keeping hope there that we will be okay... we both have a lot of issues.. some are the same and some are very different... Regardless of everything... I still believe we are worth fighting for... I know he loves me.
HokeyReligions Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Wow, Merin, I'm so sorry that your vacation ended on such a crappy note. It sounds like he has a lot of issues and unfortunatly you are caught up in his working them out. I wouldn't give up on him, but I would slow down a LOT. Let him get his own life in order and figure out what he wants. That gives you an opportunity to be away from him and see others and decide if he really is worth the work and effort to build a relationship; or if you will be happier moving on and leaving him and his issues.
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Barby Merin OMG! I'm so sorry that your vacation went sour! I'm sooo sorry girl!! BUT I'm so happy that things are looking up again! I agree that he feels the need to be in control...................he's probably scared sh*tless because you're an extremely beautiful woman and he's probably head over heals in love with you and terrified he'l be hurt in the end so when he feels he's in "too deep" he "tries" to pull back and chill but obviously he "does" care about how you feel, what you want........he went ahead and brought you around his EXW because that was one of your concerns....it probably just took him some time to work up the courage.... Anyway I'm very happy for you and as always will continue to hope that things work out and that you two live happily ever after! Thank you Sweetie... Again.. yes my BF is one of those guys who cannot be out of control and be happy with that.. and as we all know when you fall in Love you CAN'T control things even when you want too He always amazes me in his come backs though.. just when I think he isn't getting me.. it turns out, he is. We'll see where it goes.. but yeah, Love him like that and I'm trying BTW My BF did tell me that when he starts getting scared of how he's feeling.. then he starts tripping and picks on me... so fear..
Mz. Pixie Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Yeah, the gift thing, maybe that is just you. Also, it would probably not occur to my little people to get their dad a gift as they have never been responsible for that before. We also haven't been divorced long either so that may change down the line. I totally agree that he loves you- I just think he's scared to death!
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by HokeyReligions Wow, Merin, I'm so sorry that your vacation ended on such a crappy note. It sounds like he has a lot of issues and unfortunatly you are caught up in his working them out. I wouldn't give up on him, but I would slow down a LOT. Let him get his own life in order and figure out what he wants. That gives you an opportunity to be away from him and see others and decide if he really is worth the work and effort to build a relationship; or if you will be happier moving on and leaving him and his issues. Thanks Hoke... yes it really did end on a crappy note.. although we had made up before we left that bad feeling just seemed to linger. I'm not willing to give up on him (I'm a glutton like that!) LOL I really do love him a lot... I actually did talk to him about he and I slowing down in the way of us seeing other people and deciding if we wanted to make this work or not... although it isn't something I want if I thought it would've been the only thing to do and he had wanted that, I would've given that... He is and was adamant that he doesn't want to see anyone else and IF I was going to see anyone else it would be something he couldn't live with... So we've agreed at this point to continue with an exclusive relationship... he's promised to talk more when he's getting scared and I promised to speak up more when I'm having my own fear or concerns regarding why he says or does things... We're both idiots! LOL Ughhhh nobody said it was easy... but still, he is honestly still the most amazing person in my life (besides my little people) and I am willing to keep trying...
blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 If I got left alone in a foreign counry with some random guys my BF just introduced me to, I would have a fit. If he accused me of kissing someone when I hadn't even flirted with them, same thing. I don't think you did anything wrong when you didn't go up to the room with him. He should have been like, "Babe, let's go relax upstairs" or something like that. I say what I want and don't expect people to be psychic. That's immature and selfish. I think you were super nice to him doing all those things when you go back even though he acted so rudely. I love ya Merin, you are way too nice for your own good!!!
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter If I got left alone in a foreign counry with some random guys my BF just introduced me to, I would have a fit. If he accused me of kissing someone when I hadn't even flirted with them, same thing. I don't think you did anything wrong when you didn't go up to the room with him. He should have been like, "Babe, let's go relax upstairs" or something like that. I say what I want and don't expect people to be psychic. That's immature and selfish. I think you were super nice to him doing all those things when you go back even though he acted so rudely. I love ya Merin, you are way too nice for your own good!!! Thanks sista... that was a big reason I was so pissed off when I got up to the room... I thought it was bullsh*t for him to leave me sittin there like that he of course see's it the other way, that I should've just known and followed him up.. and the part when he accused me of kissing that guy.. I freaked the hell out partly because of being pissed that he did that, and partly because it was like being with my EXBF all over again.. and we all know that was a piece of work uh?! Mad Love back attcha Girl... and I know you're so right... I usually am to nice for my own good and tend to have low expectations of others... I'm working on it.
tanbark813 Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Sorry to hear your vacation was less than perfect, Mer-dawwg. Honestly, though, I'm not really all that surprised given that you guys went to Cancun. Cancun is for singles. Couples should hit up the small, quiet towns. Anyway, I hope things all work out with you guys.
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Sorry to hear your vacation was less than perfect, Mer-dawwg. Honestly, though, I'm not really all that surprised given that you guys went to Cancun. Cancun is for singles. Couples should hit up the small, quiet towns. Anyway, I hope things all work out with you guys. Thanks Tan... Cancun is for singles... LOL so even if ya go to Cancun as a couple you will be single before you leave! So sad uh? I would love to go back to Mexico because it is really beautiful there and the people are friendly... but yeah I don't see another trip like this anytime soon with my BF happening...
tanbark813 Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Merin So sad uh? I would love to go back to Mexico because it is really beautiful there and the people are friendly... but yeah I don't see another trip like this anytime soon with my BF happening... Well if you guys break up, me and you can go hit up San Felipe.
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Well if you guys break up, me and you can go hit up San Felipe. LOL This is Exactly why I love ya
tanbark813 Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Merin LOL This is Exactly why I love ya Right back atcha. I got yo' back homie.
CurlyIam Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Merin, Merin, Merin, so soon you've forgotten your vowes?
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam Merin, Merin, Merin, so soon you've forgotten your vowes? Curly, curly, curly... how could I not want to marry you?! You guys are killing me here! Got me laughing and I really needed that a lot after the crappy freakin week I had last week!
Cecelius Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 He's messed in the head, or was insanely drunk. Either way, no matter how insecure a guy is, he HAS to know that if you leave a pretty woman alone on vacation, dude's will come up and flirt with her. Your reactions (not that you needed anyone to tell you) were completely appropriate. Dunno where his head is.
Author Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius He's messed in the head, or was insanely drunk. Either way, no matter how insecure a guy is, he HAS to know that if you leave a pretty woman alone on vacation, dude's will come up and flirt with her. Your reactions (not that you needed anyone to tell you) were completely appropriate. Dunno where his head is. He was insanely drunk.. and LOL he has issues of not being hurt again. I did feel bad (after the fact) sh*t! That I had gone off when he accused me... I was so freakin mad at that moment though... yeah we both I guess felt justified in our actions... We're working on it.. I've said the same thing many times to friends, family, co-workers, my LS buddies... where is his head?! WTF is wrong with him?! LOL Which usually brings me back around to wonder WTF is wrong with me... Thanks Cecelius, I appreciate it:)
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