CM2009 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Hello LS family I just want to vent about an a situation that I am going through. I have a female friend who likes me, she has a great personality, smart, has a great job in the nursing field, lives on her own, financially stable with a great heart,we have a great friendship and I know she would love me the way I want to be loved plus and she is very easy on the eyes. Here's the issue she has 3 kids, all by the same guy and me personally I have dated and was even married to a woman with two kids. I currently don't have any kids of my own, and would like to have at least one. She is willing to give me one, but it's hard for me to look past the 3 kids she already has. I love kids, my patient level is very high but as of now it's hard for me to look past 3. I had always said 2 was my limit, but right now I don't know if I can look past it. Any advice is welcomed, thanks for allowing me to vent....
badpenny Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 The three children, ultimately are not your responsibility. They're hers and their father's. Are you saying your tolerance level is pushed by the fact that the house is already full of kids, or that you resent their presence, because they may 'overshadow' your possible future child...? If I may be politely blunt, you are behaving somewhat selfishly. This woman already has 3 children. Now, you want her to bear you a 4th, but first of all, you have issues with the fact that three already exist, and secondly - well, if I'm honest, asking a woman to go through a 4th pregnancy is in my eyes socially irresponsible - and putting her through physical discomfort, just for you? How old are the three existing children?
road Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 How old are you, her, and her kids? How do you get along with her kids?
Author CM2009 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 The three children, ultimately are not your responsibility. They're hers and their father's. Are you saying your tolerance level is pushed by the fact that the house is already full of kids, or that you resent their presence, because they may 'overshadow' your possible future child...? If I may be politely blunt, you are behaving somewhat selfishly. This woman already has 3 children. Now, you want her to bear you a 4th, but first of all, you have issues with the fact that three already exist, and secondly - well, if I'm honest, asking a woman to go through a 4th pregnancy is in my eyes socially irresponsible - and putting her through physical discomfort, just for you? How old are the three existing children? I agree with most of what your saying, true they wouldn't technically be my responsibility but being with someone and ultimately marrying them I do become the head of house and even though I am not their biological father I do bare some responsibility for them. To further explain things she also wants another child, it's not s situation where I would force her to bare another for my benefit. If that was the case I would'nt consider talking to her. But the fact that she has baby fever and talks about it all the time is a different situation.
Author CM2009 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 (edited) How old are the three existing children? How old are you, her, and her kids? How do you get along with her kids? I'm 31, she is 29, the kids are 10,9,5. I have yet to meet the kids Edited April 12, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix quote
badpenny Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I'm 31, she is 29, the kids are 10,9,5. I have yet to meet the kids So, you've already made your mind up that in one way or another they'd be an impediment? And you want her to put her life on hold for another 6 years+ while she brings up YOUR child as well as three belonging to someone else?? You need to find someone who will be your partner, focussed on you, willing to have one child - yours - and to whom you will wholeheartedly, unconditionally and seriously commit, for good, as a joint parent and partner.. Or else, you need to offer her to child-mind for a whole week - day and night - just to see how damn hard it is to watch, care for, love, nurture and control 3 children of such varying ages. I swear, after 2 DAYS - you'll think again. (If it takes that long. My bet's on a tenth of that time....)
Recommended Posts