missingu Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 My boyfriend went on a boys weekend. Left the Thursday night come back the Monday afternoon. I haven't texted him unless he texted me. He was gone 2 nights before he texted me. Is this acceptable?? I should also mention we live together which is maybe why I haven't contacted him that much. Ladies what contact do u expect from your man on a boys weekend??
Poppyolive Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 It depends on how long you have been together? A text here and there is what I'd be used to. I would send one text, daily. Something along the lines of hope you day is awesome. With a bit of love added. It really wouldn't bother me. So, from Thurs - Mon, he did contact you? You guys live together, its awesome he goes on boys weekends. You didn't contact him either. If I were you, in the exact situation, I'd be fine with it.
Poppyolive Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 OK, so you're not happy with two days passing - zero contact? Next time, communication beforehand is key, it will avoid any upset. Have you talked to him about this? What are his thoughts? Why didn't you contact him? Ever thought him not contacting you, may be the same reason as yours? What did you gave planned for those days?
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I think a woman that doesn't feel the need to contact her SO on a guys weekend is a keeper. I think leaving the ball in his court is not a bad idea either...however he may feel obligated to contact you out of guilt and that you might become disappointed if he does not. It also depends on the kind of get-away it is, there might be more contact in one situation versus another. But just the fact that you wouldn't feel this constant need and desire to basically force yourself into his thoughts and mind, as if you do not contact him he will just forget about you or something ridiculous, then I think that shows a lot of self-confidence and security on your part if you are able to do that. Punishing or resenting him for not contacting you is a big no-no, don't do that passive aggressive crap. Being that the relationship is only a year, it's still fairly new and how often he is in contact with you seems normal for that stage. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Let's be honest here. You want to reach out, not because you want to talk. But because you need validation of how he feels and to keep tabs on him. On a guy's weekend, LET HIM DO ALL THE INITIATING. Show that you trust him and don't be clingy. 3
GemmaUK Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I would have suggested no texts personally but a couple sounds OK. I'd rather he feel able to go away and not have to feel obligated to check in. I expect the same respect in reverse when I'm away too.
guest569 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I would say none unless its an "i arrived safely" text after a road trip or something. Other than that, let him have his space
Author missingu Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 I am glad to hear all your opinions. Thanks
guest569 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 And if that is difficult enjoy your own space or have some friends over
d0nnivain Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I would not expect to hear from a BF on a boys weekend at all. I would expect my husband to call me every day.
lana-banana Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 My boyfriend of 9 months had a bachelor party weekend last week. I didn't initiate anything since I figured he'd have his hands full. Throughout the weekend he sent me a few pictures of him and the guys clowning around plus two "I love you"s. I thought that was perfectly acceptable. No contact at all would have been fine too although I like texts to know he got there/back safely (we both do this). 1
katiegrl Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 (edited) My boyfriend went on a boys weekend. Left the Thursday night come back the Monday afternoon. I haven't texted him unless he texted me. He was gone 2 nights before he texted me. Is this acceptable?? I should also mention we live together which is maybe why I haven't contacted him that much. Ladies what contact do u expect from your man on a boys weekend?? So he was gone Thursday night and Friday night and he texted you Saturday. While on a boy's weekend retreat? Girl no offense but you need to chill. Of course this is acceptable! What were you expecting? What were you needing? Do you feel secure in this relationship, or not? Let the guy breathe! Weekend getaways are great, because they give a couple a chance to miss each other! Especially when they live together like you and your boyfriend do. That said, why do you feel insecure in this relationship? Such that you feel uneasy when he is gone and doesn't contact you for two days. Because *that* is what this is *really* about. Is it not? Edited April 12, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author missingu Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 My boyfriend got back and was acting like normal..just a bit affectionate, told me he was worried about me and thinking about me all weekend. Told me about other guys and all the girls. When I questioned him he didn't get defensive and we've had heaps of sex. Maybe I just need to work on my insecurities
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 My boyfriend got back and was acting like normal..just a bit affectionate, told me he was worried about me and thinking about me all weekend. Told me about other guys and all the girls. When I questioned him he didn't get defensive and we've had heaps of sex. Maybe I just need to work on my insecurities Yes. He doesn't sound guilty of anything except loving you. 1
katiegrl Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Yes. He doesn't sound guilty of anything except loving you. barcode...what a touching sentiment! This board never ceases to amaze............... 1
Versacehottie Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Yeah, every situation, even a seemingly negative one, is an opportunity to show who you are. This situation could seem negative in that you would like more contact and talk to him/text every day--that's for your reassurance mostly and for what you want. If you use this instance as an opportunity to show that you are confident and capable of being independent and want to allow him a fun/free weekend, it will carry a lot of mileage. Think of it as a gift and it will boomerang back to you.
MissBee Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) My boyfriend went on a boys weekend. Left the Thursday night come back the Monday afternoon. I haven't texted him unless he texted me. He was gone 2 nights before he texted me. Is this acceptable?? I should also mention we live together which is maybe why I haven't contacted him that much. Ladies what contact do u expect from your man on a boys weekend?? Boy's weekend or not, I'm a worrier. I worry about if something has happened to you if I don't hear from you. So for me, if you're going out of town I need you to let me know you got in safely or I will go crazy with worry. My worries are about did you end up in a car crash and stuff like that, not insecurities about if you're cheating and what have you. I would like you to check in at least once a day. I've never been in a relationship where my guy went on a boys' weekend but I've had them go out of town for other reasons and they made it a point to check in with me daily to see how I was doing, to tell me how they are doing, even if they can't do it daily because of the circumstance, they did try to keep me up to speed and I do the same with them when I'm away. It was not anything forced, but just a natural thing they did but if a guy didn't do it I'd tell him what I need and allow him to choose to do so or not. People cannot read our minds and it's best to be upfront about what we want and compromise than just expect them to know what to do. They don't need to talk to me 24/7, but for me, in my relationships even when my guy is away doing his own thing, when the night winds down or at some point he misses me and thinks about me and wants to hear my voice or check in of his own free will, and I'm the same. I can go away with my girls and have fun but I'll still send texts or call him when I have some alone time just to say I miss him, I'm safe, I'm thinking of him. For me that's normal and healthy when you genuinely like your partner and it shouldn't feel like some chore you're forced to do. Edited April 14, 2015 by MissBee
Gary S Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 It depends on the person. Some people like to talk everyday, others only see each other one day per week for a date and don't talk in between. And everything in between. So if you wanted to talk why did you not text him? Are your fingers broken
guest569 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 My boyfriend got back and was acting like normal..just a bit affectionate, told me he was worried about me and thinking about me all weekend. Told me about other guys and all the girls. When I questioned him he didn't get defensive and we've had heaps of sex. Maybe I just need to work on my insecurities So why did you need to question him? Why would he get defensive? I find this a bit of a concern. What has happened to make you unable to trust him?
Author missingu Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Nothing..I think he is very attractive and if he wanted to he could get anyone. So why would he say no to someone better than me??
Gaeta Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Nothing..I think he is very attractive and if he wanted to he could get anyone. So why would he say no to someone better than me?? For the same reason you would say no to some guy better than him. To answer your original post. If a boyfriend of mine goes on a business trip yes I like to keep in touch but if he is going to a fishing weekend with his buddies then no, I let him be. I let him recharge his batteries, I let him miss me, and I know when he comes back our time together will be priceless because of it. 1
kendahke Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I'd rather not play his mother when he is out of sight. If he wants to communicate, cool, but I'm not trying to put a leash on him if he's on a boys' weekend, especially if I live with him and see and are with him 51 other weekends.
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I like a goodnight text or message, doesn't have to be long, cos I miss him when I get into our bed and go to sleep without him. So it's nice when I wake up to have it there waiting to be read kinda soppy and he doesn't always remember but I always do when I'm the one away. Other than that, whatever. It's good to touch base each day if possible, absolutely. But I'm just as happy with a few snapchats across the day or a good morning call or whatever. It would be really weird for us though to go a whole day without speaking in some way or another! Neither of us sit on our phones texting each other when away unless we are alone, I think its really weird and awkward when one person in the group has to be texting their SO every hour, it distracts from the company they are in and makes it look like their relationship is super clingy or that they'd rather be with their partner than hanging with friends doing something fun. I'll happily go hours or whole afternoons or evenings without any contact, I just think it's healthy to go forth and have fun, knowing that your love is at home waiting for your return.
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