Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I've been broken up with my ex since September now, we broke NC tonight after about 6 months. My friend pulled me aside and told me he liked her, I told him I still had feelings for her and I would prefer it if he didn't pursue and he agreed. I spoke to my ex and she denied liking him also and said she wasn't going to get with my mate. However, come 4am, end of the night, they're together and chatting away. Am I right to feel angry by this? I know my ex is single and can do what she wants but one of my friends, seriously? They both lied to me and said nothing was happening!
TunaCat Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I wouldn't be angry with your ex as she can do whatever she wants. I would be upset about your friend though. Especially since he knew you still had feelings for your ex. He should have stayed away from her out of respect for you.
freelo Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 You're totally justified about feeling betrayed-your friend told you he wouldn't talk to her and he did. She denied having any interest in your friend-and is now talking to him. I'd say that he's a bad friend and she's not worth your time-stick with friends and girls who are above all, honest to you and keep their word.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Back to No Contact you go, and you might have to add another person to that list unfortunately. 1
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 He says he likes her and he can't help it, but still he should respect boundaries right?
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 Any tips on how to tame anger? it's 5am where I am and I'm drunk.
lolablue17 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 It depends on how close you are as friends. If he isn't so close, just one of many friends you hang out with, that i think you 're a little over reacting. But if he is the\one of your best friends, he should have dropped it. These things can't be done between friends and actually he is no longer your friend any more. But i think these are all minor things. The major thing is why after 6 month haven't you done anything to heal yourself? Why can't you be generous with your friend and bless him for his new love? Your attitude points that you're definitely not in the right course of having a good happy life. You're drowning yourself inside self-pity, victimizing yourself and push yourself to be in a great misery. You're actually perpetuating your pain. I advice you to seek help, maybe counselling. You deserve to be happy. Why on earth do you let another person to have so much control over you? You must pull yourself together. 1
Poppyolive Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 They're only chatting, right? He checked in with you and agreed she can do as she pleases. Him, you can chat with him, when you've got some sleep and are sober. Its jealousy that's overwhelming you, right now. Being drunk doesn't help. Have a grilled cheese, pint of water and go to sleep. 2
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 It depends on how close you are as friends. If he isn't so close, just one of many friends you hang out with, that i think you 're a little over reacting. But if he is the\one of your best friends, he should have dropped it. These things can't be done between friends and actually he is no longer your friend any more. But i think these are all minor things. The major thing is why after 6 month haven't you done anything to heal yourself? Why can't you be generous with your friend and bless him for his new love? Your attitude points that you're definitely not in the right course of having a good happy life. You're drowning yourself inside self-pity, victimizing yourself and push yourself to be in a great misery. You're actually perpetuating your pain. I advice you to seek help, maybe counselling. You deserve to be happy. Why on earth do you let another person to have so much control over you? You must pull yourself together. We lived together at university, he was one of the first guys to speak to me when she broke up with me, see I was alright etc so we are quite close. I have healed a lot since the break but I;m still not 100% over it, I knew that prior to it anyway and I told him when he asked me, and said I'd rather he didn't. If it was a stranger I wouldn't be bothered but the fact my mate would do that is annoying. I text him saying I'd appreciate it if he didn't...he replied with "I won't". 5 minutes later they're stood together outside the club ha. She text me this morning saying sorry and said why do I bother with her when I can have someone nice, and I told her I can do a lot better, she's right about that.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 They're only chatting, right? He checked in with you and agreed she can do as she pleases. Him, you can chat with him, when you've got some sleep and are sober. Its jealousy that's overwhelming you, right now. Being drunk doesn't help. Have a grilled cheese, pint of water and go to sleep. They were only chatting yeah, pretty sure I seen them kiss though when I got in my ride home.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 I also sent my friend a couple of texts last night expressing my disappointment, he hasn't even bothered to reply to me today.
CarrieT Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I also sent my friend a couple of texts last night expressing my disappointment, he hasn't even bothered to reply to me today. Then he is NOT a friend...
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 Then he is NOT a friend... I agree, I phoned one of my close friends and he told me it's clear where his loyalties are and he obviously doesn't care.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 When he told me he liked her, he even had the audacity to tell me immediately after I was "punching above my weight" when I was with her, I felt like punching him square in the nose.
erklat Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 (edited) She text me this morning saying sorry and said why do I bother with her when I can have someone nice, and I told her I can do a lot better, she's right about that. You should have best not responded at all or text something along the lines of meh, whatever or something like that. This way you showed that you're still volatile and she can affect your mood - really bad move. It is not very wise to let a woman see you skulking. Edited April 12, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 You should have best not responded at all or text something along the lines of meh, whatever or something like that. This way you showed that you're still volatile and she can affect your mood - really bad move. It is not very wise to let a woman see you skulking. I know, you're right. I feel like texting her with a huge rant but I know it's pointless and I'm not going to do it.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 Has anybody else had that feeling where you realise that they're a different person? like they seem like a different person once you're apart. All the things you wouldn't expect from them they do? your estimation of them goes from thinking they're amazing to thinking I can't believe how different you appear to me now? Makes me feel weird when I think about it, my opinion of her is totally different now and it scares me that a woman I once thought was so sincere can change so much. How can I trust anyone now?
erklat Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I know, you're right. I feel like texting her with a huge rant but I know it's pointless and I'm not going to do it. Fnck no dude, that is seriously not cool and neediness lvl over 9000.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 Fnck no dude, that is seriously not cool and neediness lvl over 9000. Oh I know don;t worry I wouldn't do it in a million years, just saying thats what I feel like though. My 'friend' texted me about half an hour ago saying he's sorry if he pissed me off. Just going to ignore it. 1
erklat Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 What I'm doing since my breakup is that I constantly live like my one foot is very close to the door. My future spouse knows that she can't do anything silly enough to provoke me, so she doesn't even try. Some people even say that is because I don't love her enough, but I think that is the result of the things I learned after the breakup. I would stonewall the hell out of them both now. My breakup happened texting while in drunk state.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 I can't wait to go to work later, my head is all over the place at the minute. I can't stop thinking about last night.
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