At the end of the day I have two questions

[seranade]

I'll make this as short as possible. My wife of 16 years told me a year ago that she no longer loved me. The house sold, we separated, and we take the kids a week at a time. I tried as hard as I possibly could while she didn't try at all. Up to the day we separated she told me we would see each other while separated and that she needed the space a time alone to work out her feelings. Once separated it was as if she never knew me.

We separated March 1, 2005. Two weeks after the separation she took our kids (7 & 9) to a childs birthday party at the house of a single, male, co-worker. Last week she took our kids to the movies and dinner with this same guy and his kid. Now she states that divorce is definate.

I don't like it but there is nothing I can do about it all. She is already having family outings with another man in my place. I had hoped we could try, one last time, for our kids sake but... It's time to move on.

 

My, soon to be ex, wife has a twin sister. We struck up a friendship over the Thanksgiving holiday 2004. Over the last month we have talked on the phone, about a half hour a call, a few times. Just friendly discussions about divorce and learning to live alone etc... She is reciently divorced and lives in another state. She seems to enjoy our conversations as much as I do. I have a business trip to take in the city where she lives. We agreed to meet for dinner during my stay.

She and my STBXW have not talked to each other for 15 years. My STBXW never told me why they did not talk. Her twin sister told me that she had no idea why my STBXW stopped talking to her all those years ago. The twin tried but my wife would have nothing to do with her.

Anyway, the twin sister told me that while discussing me with her mother and other sister that all agreed my wife never treated me with respect during our entire marriage. The mother told me the same thing during a separate conversation and also said that the twin and I would be perfect together.

 

At the end of the day I have two questions.

 

1. Is it possible to have been married for 16 years, two children, a wife that never loved her husband, and a husband not notice his wife treated him poorly?

 

2. Is it too far fetched that my soon to be ex wife's twin sister and I are attracted to each other?

 

Thanks for your comments and best regards to all.

[mishy]

I can answer your second question-

 

I doubt after this short time you are actually attracted to her twin sister in a real sense. If she is an identical twin (kinda spooky) then really you are still in love with your wife and your chemical body attraction is based on a reaction to her looking like your wife.

 

I would steer clear of this one. You will never really know if you are attracted to her as a separate person to your wife. it is just too wierd, but i can understand how it happened.

 

And another thing- the twin hasn't seen her sister for so long - have you thought that maybe your attraction to each other might be based on some kind of mutual revenge on your wife????

[moon]

Oh My God!!! If you go out with your ex wife's twin sister..........You are such a fool.

 

Why would you do that???? Look at it this way. You have kids. You have kids. You have kids. You have kids. You have kids. How confused are they going to be when dad takes up with their mother's twin sister? What kind of legacy do you want to leave in this world? If my father took up with my mother's twin sister if they ever broke up I'd think my father was OFF HIS ROCKER. I might never peak to him again. I would be sooooooooooooooooo grossed out.

 

Man.....you need to get a grip!!!!

 

Stop talking to your wife's sister if you think something will happen between us. I am sure that you are upset and maybe feeling spiteful because your wife broke up with you, but under no circumstances should you take up with her sister. EVER. You will be the one to pay in the end. I am sure of this.

 

Again, I am sorry for your troubles. You must be very hurt, but think of your kids.....think of the trouble it will cause in the family if you do this foolish, selfish and crazy thing. Don't mess with other people's families. Take the high road. Seriously. Nothing will come of this but lots of hurt and more pain. Do you want even more pain??? And her sister should be ashamed of herself. I am guessing there is a lot of jealousy there.....and you are probably just a pawn, which the sister is probably to you as well. Seriously, don't do it!!!! That's sick.

 

Good luck.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Hey...maybe you fell in love with the twin all those years ago and they switched places!!!!!

 

Stay put....she is 4 hrs away and leave it that way.

[Bubbles]

While I sympathise with you (on your marriage breaking up and your STBXW dating right away...that's gotta hurt) you should stay within certain boundaries. It does not matter what SHE is doing. You just make sure that you are doing the right thing.

 

There is a general rule of thumb.

 

You don't date your ex's friends and you don't date your ex's family either!!! Period!!!

 

I can understand a friendship but even THAT could be preceived as crossing the line. Do you really want to make your ex Furious with you? Stay away from family and firends. PERIOD!!! This is not something you should be considering.

 

bubbles