now.

[Frank1992]

So I met this women at a bar back in January. I got her number and started texting each other. She did most of the texting at first. We texted every day until I finally got to meet her in person in February. Everything was great. We really connected in every aspect. I stayed the night with her since I'm stationed four hours away. We talked about everything including our goals and future.

 

Everything seemed great but there were a couple of issues. We both had just got out of a relationship and weren't looking to juMp into another so quick. She was also upset that I lived four hours away. But what really upset her was that she was way older than me. And she felt like I lied to her about my age (which did and apologized for it. She ended up forgiving me but said she didn't trust me because I lied and that I would have to earn it back ( which I did). She said I was to young for her and would accuse me of being a womanizer. I knew I was gonna have to make the effort and actually win her back into my arms.

 

But even after all those problems Once again everything seemed fine. We worked out our difference. We continued to texted each other everyday. I would drive to her house every other weekend and spend it with her. Every time we were together it was a blast. I felt like we were really connected emotionally and physically. We just had fun and laughed a lot when we were together. She would cook for me and Little by little she would introduce me to her sisters. No matter how busy we both were we always found time for each other. We even made appointments together to get tattooed (no tatt names). It was like we were in a relationship just without the label. I really started to fall for this women.

 

Fast foreword to this month. Which is why I'm writing this post. This month was gonna be a busy month for the both of us. She had personal family things that were gonna take up most of her time. I had a my Bday coming up (which she knew about) and had previous plans for. I also had have a major surgery coming up. We both decided to care of personal stuff and that meet back up on the following week before my surgery. I purposely didn't text her bc I knew she was gonna be stressed out and busy. We went a week without talking to each other. She didn't even wished me happy bday( which didn't really upset me).

 

What really upset me was that Late that Saturday night I asked if I could call her. She never responded. I texted her goodnight. I got nothing. The next morning I asked her the why she was giving me the cold shoulder in a jokingly way. She was very short and serious and acted defensive. Her only response was that she was busy. And told me to stop being a butt (which is our little joke) I feel like she blew me off like dirt. I feel disrespected. I haven't talked or texted her since (and I don't plan on texting her back). I'm hurt. I really started to fall for this girl. Why is acting like this??? Please help...

Edited April 11, 2015 by Frank1992

[Redhead14]

So I met this women at a bar back in January. I got her number and started texting each other. She did most of the texting at first. We texted every day until I finally got to meet her in person in February. Everything was great. We really connected in every aspect. I stayed the night with her since I'm stationed four hours away. We talked about everything including our goals and future.

 

Everything seemed great but there were a couple of issues. We both had just got out of a relationship and weren't looking to juMp into another so quick. She was also upset that I lived four hours away. But what really upset her was that she was way older than me. And she felt like I lied to her about my age (which did and apologized for it. She ended up forgiving me but said she didn't trust me because I lied and that I would have to earn it back ( which I did). She said I was to young for her and would accuse me of being a womanizer. I knew I was gonna have to make the effort and actually win her back into my arms.

 

But even after all those problems Once again everything seemed fine. We worked out our difference. We continued to texted each other everyday. I would drive to her house every other weekend and spend it with her. Every time we were together it was a blast. I felt like we were really connected emotionally and physically. We just had fun and laughed a lot when we were together. She would cook for me and Little by little she would introduce me to her sisters. No matter how busy we both were we always found time for each other. We even made appointments together to get tattooed (no tatt names). It was like we were in a relationship just without the label. I really started to fall for this women.

 

Fast foreword to this month. Which is why I'm writing this post. This month was gonna be a busy month for the both of us. She had personal family things that were gonna take up most of her time. I had a my Bday coming up (which she knew about) and had previous plans for. I also had have a major surgery coming up. We both decided to care of personal stuff and that meet back up on the following week before my surgery. I purposely didn't text her bc I knew she was gonna be stressed out and busy. We went a week without talking to each other. She didn't even wished me happy bday( which didn't really upset me).

 

What really upset me was that Late that Saturday night I asked if I could call her. She never responded. I texted her goodnight. I got nothing. The next morning I asked her the why she was giving me the cold shoulder in a jokingly way. She was very short and serious and acted defensive. Her only response was that she was busy. And told me to stop being a butt (which is our little joke) I feel like she blew me off like dirt. I feel disrespected. I haven't talked or texted her since (and I don't plan on texting her back). I'm hurt. I really started to fall for this girl. Why is acting like this??? Please help...

 

You call her and say something like "I've been enjoying the time we've spent together and feel that things have been going well. Do you agree? Is there anything we need to work on at this point." And, let her talk. This is non-confrontational and supportive. If she's struggling with something, it tells her you are willing to listen and help if necessary.

[smackie9]

No one can really know why. If it were me I would send her a message about how you feel, your hopes for a relationship, and then ask for closure if she doesn't accept your offer, then wish her well.

[ExpatInItaly]

Maybe she's confused or hurt as to why you didn't contact her for an entire week. Did she know you were going to be completely out of touch? If were getting close to a guy, particularly one who'd lied to me in the past, and he went radio silent for a week I wouldn't be too impressed. I get that you were both busy but I don't understand why a text here or there would've been a problem. That might have nothing to do with it, just speculating.

 

Hard to say what's happened, but maybe the lie about your age really wasn't a thing of the past for her. Perhaps the week apart gave her time to reflect? Pick up the phone and just call her. If you want answers, that's the only way you'll get them.

Edited April 11, 2015 by ExpatInItaly

[preraph]

She told you she had family things taking up all her time this month. Then you got mad when she didn't get right back with you and didn't have time to talk on the phone. What sense does that make? Adults get too busy to have leisure sometimes. Remember you are not the only person she has to keep up with and get texts from. She probably has them piled up while trying to entertain her family and do all her normal day to day stuff to keep all the balls in the air. If you don't like not knowing whether to even text after she warns you she's going to be busy, then tell her, OK, well, contact me when they leave and I won't bother you.

[Gary S]

If you can't go on at least one date a week, there's trouble in paradise.

[Frank1992]

Thanks everyone. But I really don't know how to fix this. I want to reach out and ask her but I don't want to come off needy and desperate and drive her further. I've always been told to give a women space and let her come back to you. Give her time to allow her to miss me. At the same time I don't know what exactly she wants outta of me. We've talked about if before and I've told her I'm going as fast as she lets me go. I don't wanna rush or force anything. The reason I went radio silent on her was because I felt she was becoming short and distant. I figure she was really busy with family things. I reached out to her on the night of bday because I wanted to see how she was doing since I hadn't talked to her. I now don't know how interested I am in someone who disrespects me the way she did that night. I think she mistook my kindness for weakness but I didn't make a big deal about it to her. I just wanna fix this but I'm just confused???

Edited April 11, 2015 by Frank1992

[Gary S]

I feel for you, but you have to grow a backbone. In the beginning, up to the first couple months, all you do as a man is try to make one date a week with her. If she takes too much prompting, either she does not like you, or has other problems that make her not a catch. And if they are pulling this stuff after a couple months, it is not a match.

 

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make an ass drink.

[Frank1992]

Thanks. I absolutely understand. I'm U.S Marine. I'm an ******* at times but in sarcastic way. I have a back bone. I've always been proud of who I am as a man. This is where the problem at. I want her back but I want her to know that I won't let her or anyone else disrespect me. I have to much self respect to purse someone who doesn't respect me as a man. Should I let her know that she disrespected me and hurt me. Or should just act like I just don't care and wait till she reaches out to me.

[Frank1992]

I also deleted a picture of us that I had posted of FB. Id be happy with her but I was also happy before I meet her. I want her realize that I'm serious about walk away...

[preraph]

How is her not texting you back right away after she's already told you she's going to be overwhelmingly busy disrespecting you?

[smackie9]

Thanks everyone. But I really don't know how to fix this. I want to reach out and ask her but I don't want to come off needy and desperate and drive her further. I've always been told to give a women space and let her come back to you. Give her time to allow her to miss me. At the same time I don't know what exactly she wants outta of me. We've talked about if before and I've told her I'm going as fast as she lets me go. I don't wanna rush or force anything. The reason I went radio silent on her was because I felt she was becoming short and distant. I figure she was really busy with family things. I reached out to her on the night of bday because I wanted to see how she was doing since I hadn't talked to her. I now don't know how interested I am in someone who disrespects me the way she did that night. I think she mistook my kindness for weakness but I didn't make a big deal about it to her. I just wanna fix this but I'm just confused???

 

The problem is you need to communicate before you proceed. She doesn't know why you didn't text her for a week. You need to be careful about "assuming". It's train wreck waiting to happen. The key role in relationship failure is lack of communication.

[Frank1992]

It's disrespectful and un characteristic of her. Not only did she blow me off but she never apologized for it and gave me that bs I'm busy response. Now that happen late Saturday night which tells me she was with someone. Honestly I wouldn't of cared if she was another guy (hope not) because were not in a relationship. With that being said I'm not gonna be a second option to her. I'm not her puppy. She ain't gonna play with me when she's bored. It's a matter self respect and know your own worth. I respect the fact that unless were in a committed relationship she can do what she wants bc I'm gonna do the same. And it's not like I'm cutting her off. I tried ask her what's up. She the one that said she was busy. I wasn't gonna continue to bother her.

[ExpatInItaly]

You're emphasizing the importance of respect, and yet you started this relationship based on a lie. So in some senses, you're probably right. She probably lost respect for you right there. You also disrespected her by lying, you see.

 

In general, it sounds like you two are lacking in communication skills. You're making assumptions about her silence, and she probably did the same. Instead of getting self-righteous, pick up the darn phone and call her. If you want a chance to either rectify this or move on, one of you needs to grow a pair and take a step to clear the air. You'll feel better when you have an answer instead of stewing about it.

[fred123]

How is her not texting you back right away after she's already told you she's going to be overwhelmingly busy disrespecting you?

 

The busy reason is BS and we all know it. Which girl is too busy to send one text all week to a guy she likes. I had a family member die once and i still managed to send a text to a girl within a couple of days apologising for not being in contact cos of family reasons

[ExpatInItaly]

The busy reason is BS and we all know it. Which girl is too busy to send one text all week to a guy she likes. I had a family member die once and i still managed to send a text to a girl within a couple of days apologising for not being in contact cos of family reasons

 

Do you not realize she could perhaps be thinking the same thing about you? She might just be wondering where you were all week. This could potentially be a reason why she wasn't so open to your attempt to get in touch. In the end, would you rather be "right" or would you rather get answers? It's starting to appear you just prefer to be angry than actually communicate with her and find out if she wants to end this.

[Frank1992]

I realize what your both saying. But I think your only seeing things through a women's perspective. Call me prideful, arrogant, cocky, ECT... But when someone blews me off in that manner I tend never talk to that individual ever again. In any relationship in life whether it be a buddy, co worker, family member what have you there must a mutual respect. Treat others the way you want to be treated. I honestly wouldn't of cared if she was with another guy or even her Ex. If she would've had the balls to tell that I would respect that. Why because were not in a committed relationship yet. But instead she blew of. She's taken my affection and kindness for weakness and obviously doesn't really know me to well. At that moment someone else was more important than me. I've become an option to her. I can't be with a women like that. I won't let anyone take me or my time for granted. Being in the military I'm not interested in a women who doesn't respect me. I've seen first hand buddies of mine get torn like that.

Edited April 12, 2015 by Frank1992

[Frank1992]

And I do wanna talk to her. I'm dying to talk to her. We have the best convos, but not unless she reaches out to me first. She has to be the one to think things through and open up to me when she's ready. She need to tell the truth if she hurt or if there's another guy I don't know about. I can't force to talk to me and tell me these things. And want purse her. That just shows me as being needy and desperate. Which I'm not.

[katiegrl]

So I met this women at a bar back in January. I got her number and started texting each other. She did most of the texting at first. We texted every day until I finally got to meet her in person in February. Everything was great. We really connected in every aspect. I stayed the night with her since I'm stationed four hours away. We talked about everything including our goals and future.

 

Everything seemed great but there were a couple of issues. We both had just got out of a relationship and weren't looking to juMp into another so quick. She was also upset that I lived four hours away. But what really upset her was that she was way older than me. And she felt like I lied to her about my age (which did and apologized for it. She ended up forgiving me but said she didn't trust me because I lied and that I would have to earn it back ( which I did). She said I was to young for her and would accuse me of being a womanizer. I knew I was gonna have to make the effort and actually win her back into my arms.

 

But even after all those problems Once again everything seemed fine. We worked out our difference. We continued to texted each other everyday. I would drive to her house every other weekend and spend it with her. Every time we were together it was a blast. I felt like we were really connected emotionally and physically. We just had fun and laughed a lot when we were together. She would cook for me and Little by little she would introduce me to her sisters. No matter how busy we both were we always found time for each other. We even made appointments together to get tattooed (no tatt names). It was like we were in a relationship just without the label. I really started to fall for this women.

 

Fast foreword to this month. Which is why I'm writing this post. This month was gonna be a busy month for the both of us. She had personal family things that were gonna take up most of her time. I had a my Bday coming up (which she knew about) and had previous plans for. I also had have a major surgery coming up. We both decided to care of personal stuff and that meet back up on the following week before my surgery. I purposely didn't text her bc I knew she was gonna be stressed out and busy. We went a week without talking to each other. She didn't even wished me happy bday( which didn't really upset me).

 

What really upset me was that Late that Saturday night I asked if I could call her. She never responded. I texted her goodnight. I got nothing. The next morning I asked her the why she was giving me the cold shoulder in a jokingly way. She was very short and serious and acted defensive. Her only response was that she was busy. And told me to stop being a butt (which is our little joke) I feel like she blew me off like dirt. I feel disrespected. I haven't talked or texted her since (and I don't plan on texting her back). I'm hurt. I really started to fall for this girl. Why is acting like this??? Please help...

 

>>.."And she told me to stop being a butt (which is our little joke)...<< Why is she acting like this?"

 

---

^^Simple, she is bored, turned off and sick of your behaving like such a butt. Which you are.

 

Dude, you need to get over yourself, you were (are) no prize either. YOU are the one who lied to her and disappeared for a week..

 

How do you think that made HER feel? Wait, she already told you, she lost trust and felt disrespected by you!

 

I realize you are Marine, and you should be proud of that. But that doesn't mean your s**t doesn't stink...you are acting like a big baby.

 

If you want to resolve this, I would suggest, like another posted suggested, you grow a pair and contact her.

 

Yes, it may be too late, as I agree with you, there may be another guy, .but what's the alternative? Steweing in the juices of your own ego, or taking charge and getting to the bottom of this fiasco?

 

Your call dude....

[smackie9]

Maybe she just looked at

your relationship as a FWB. Remember she wasn't really interested in a "relationship" with you and warned you about that in the beginning while you were insisting that you see her. She may have wanted to no longer invest her time in this and toss you aside. Older women do, do this if they think of you as a pastime and nothing else. I think you misunderstood this arrangement because of how emotionally invested you are. IMO she ditching you disrespectfully, like you being something that is disposable.

 

I agree you need to get in contact with her and at least get closure. If you just sit there worrying, and hurting about it....she may never call you and you just wasted YOUR time.

[Frank1992]

That's what I've been thinking myself. The last time we together we went on a really fancy date. We talked about having kids and told her that I didn't want to raise a family in the military. It's to difficult. And because my times almost up and I'm ready to get out. I realized women her age have a biological clock lol. We also talk about our future together but it's always short. She always jokes about me being a womanizer and I always joke back about her just using for sex. It's hard to say what she really wants from me. I also seen that we've got really close and affectionate with each other. Maybe she needs time to think. And it's not like I've pushed her or tried rushing into another relationship. I just got outta of one back In January. I broke it off because of almost the exact same reasons but more complicated. Not to soon after is when i met this girl. I know that i lied to her. She's always held this over my head. We got into fights because she say things like right not right for each. And I'll agree and say yupp. I see the front door. Just say the word and I'm gone (in a joking matter of course). She would really get pissed at me outta of no where and I'll i say is why do you joke around and when I do it back you get pissed. I know that I'm prideful. But in this particular situation I don't wanna make the same mistake I did with my Ex. I won't rush into another relationship especially if someone doesn't have mutual respect for me.

[Frank1992]

Anyways I got my surgery tomorrow. I might try and call her or just wait afterwards. Since I'm going on convalescent leave she wanted me to stay with her for a week or two. But I don't know now lol