say_what Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Hi I'm new here and never thought to post on a forum about my situation. Here's a quick story. We dated for 8 months. Beginning of the end started when she was being flirty with co-workers in front of me at a party we threw. The following day I very calmly brought it up saying "hey I wanted to address something about last night. I know people flirt it's human nature, I do it, you do it, but it's disrespectful to do in front of your partner and that's what was going on with you and couple guys last night and I wanted you to be aware that it was rude to me" She didn't understand what I was trying to say and tried turning it into an argument. Trying to claim I was controlling her or that I didn't like her personality. I just kept very calmly reinstating that it was disrespectful behavior and just wanted her to be aware. Wasn't trying to control or anything. She apologized and told me she loved me. All seemed well. Fast forward a week later and she brings it up again! Which I knew something was bothering her because she seemed distant. She had built resentment towards me and again tried making it into an argument. I didn't let it escalate into one and we just talked it out. Well few days later she breaks up with me saying she wants someone who's going to accept her 100% I didn't beg or plead and merely said ok I'll miss you but have to respect it. Month of no contact goes by and I reached out to see how she was doing. She seemed happy to hear from me but instantly says she's seeing someone she's serious about (after seeing her on Match) I wasn't surprised. I told her congratulations and changed the subject. This is where it gets confusing, she says "I didn't think I would hear from you again" which made me feel like I broke things off, I replied "why I thought that's what you wanted so I backed off" her response "you're right I don't have anything to say, I'm with someone who makes me very happy and there isn't a chance of us getting back together but if you want to talk as friends fine" Did she forget it was HER decision to end things? Or is she trying to get me to chase her for an ego boost?
Chi townD Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Yeah, that's what you did, you just gave her an ego boost! "Oh, look who it is. Well, I'm gonna have to set him straight. Poor thing. Sniffing around for scraps."
Jimmyjackson Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Hi I'm new here and never thought to post on a forum about my situation. Here's a quick story. We dated for 8 months. Beginning of the end started when she was being flirty with co-workers in front of me at a party we threw. The following day I very calmly brought it up saying "hey I wanted to address something about last night. I know people flirt it's human nature, I do it, you do it, but it's disrespectful to do in front of your partner and that's what was going on with you and couple guys last night and I wanted you to be aware that it was rude to me" She didn't understand what I was trying to say and tried turning it into an argument. Trying to claim I was controlling her or that I didn't like her personality. I just kept very calmly reinstating that it was disrespectful behavior and just wanted her to be aware. Wasn't trying to control or anything. She apologized and told me she loved me. All seemed well. Fast forward a week later and she brings it up again! Which I knew something was bothering her because she seemed distant. She had built resentment towards me and again tried making it into an argument. I didn't let it escalate into one and we just talked it out. Well few days later she breaks up with me saying she wants someone who's going to accept her 100% I didn't beg or plead and merely said ok I'll miss you but have to respect it. Month of no contact goes by and I reached out to see how she was doing. She seemed happy to hear from me but instantly says she's seeing someone she's serious about (after seeing her on Match) I wasn't surprised. I told her congratulations and changed the subject. This is where it gets confusing, she says "I didn't think I would hear from you again" which made me feel like I broke things off, I replied "why I thought that's what you wanted so I backed off" her response "you're right I don't have anything to say, I'm with someone who makes me very happy and there isn't a chance of us getting back together but if you want to talk as friends fine" Did she forget it was HER decision to end things? Or is she trying to get me to chase her for an ego boost? "you're right I don't have anything to say, I'm with someone who makes me very happy and there isn't a chance of us getting back together but if you want to talk as friends fine" What else is there to discuss?
Author say_what Posted April 11, 2015 Author Posted April 11, 2015 The "I didn't think I'd hear from you again" Like I dumped her! Confusing
Jimmyjackson Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 The "I didn't think I'd hear from you again" Like I dumped her! Confusing She probably just figured she hurt you when she dumped you, so didn't expect you to reach out as she probably knows you deserve better.
Author say_what Posted April 11, 2015 Author Posted April 11, 2015 Interesting. Was I wrong for calling out her flirting? Never heard of a relationship ending just based on something like that.
Jimmyjackson Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Interesting. Was I wrong for calling out her flirting? Never heard of a relationship ending just based on something like that. If she was actually flirting no you weren't, but there is a fine line between being friendly and flirting. If she's willing to end it based on that, then what does that tell you? Obviously isn't worth your time is she.
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