TunaCat Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 OP, I am probably one of the only people on LS that can totally understand this situation. You see, I was born with a serious congenital heart defect 29 years ago. My parents split up because my dad couldn't handle having a sick kid. He chose drugs & alcohol to help him deal with things. Leaving my mom with NO support at all (she was away from her family) You are essentially doing the same thing. Your child and her mother need your support. Yeah, you may have to choose your child & girlfriend over school for awhile, but I can tell you right now, you would never regret it. Your girlfriend needs your support and when you are frequently threatening to break up with her, that adds more to her stress level. She does not need more stress. You are parents to a sick child, and your job right now OP, is to give your girlfriend and your daughter all the support & love in the world. 2
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Unfortunately dropping classes on my course isn't an option. All classes are compulsory. It's a vocational healthcare course.. You misunderstand. Every course of study has mandatory classes each student must take to be awarded a major / degree. I am not saying that you are some how excused from fulfilling the requirements for graduation. What I am suggesting is lighten your load. Do not take the maximum number of credits. Take the minimum to be a FT student. It may take you a semester or so longer to graduate but it will reduce your overall stress load & give you more time with your daughter. When your stress level goes down you will be in a better position to be more supportive to the baby's mother. When you give her more support she will have more reserves to meet your needs. 2
Author Mr.MikeK Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 You misunderstand. Every course of study has mandatory classes each student must take to be awarded a major / degree. I am not saying that you are some how excused from fulfilling the requirements for graduation. What I am suggesting is lighten your load. Do not take the maximum number of credits. Take the minimum to be a FT student. It may take you a semester or so longer to graduate but it will reduce your overall stress load & give you more time with your daughter. When your stress level goes down you will be in a better position to be more supportive to the baby's mother. When you give her more support she will have more reserves to meet your needs. Hi D0n, That is a good suggestion but unfortunately is not possible on my course. I'm doing an integrated MPharm (masters in pharmacy) course. In order to register with the GPHC (regulatory body) as a pharmacist all modules and units have to be taken and completed over 4 years. It doesn't really give me a lot of room for manoeuvrability. Otherwise, your solution would have been my perfect option. I agree with you though. I do need to reduce my stress levels and stop taking her for granted. I just hope it's not too late.
Author Mr.MikeK Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 OP, I am probably one of the only people on LS that can totally understand this situation. You see, I was born with a serious congenital heart defect 29 years ago. My parents split up because my dad couldn't handle having a sick kid. He chose drugs & alcohol to help him deal with things. Leaving my mom with NO support at all (she was away from her family) You are essentially doing the same thing. Your child and her mother need your support. Yeah, you may have to choose your child & girlfriend over school for awhile, but I can tell you right now, you would never regret it. Your girlfriend needs your support and when you are frequently threatening to break up with her, that adds more to her stress level. She does not need more stress. You are parents to a sick child, and your job right now OP, is to give your girlfriend and your daughter all the support & love in the world. Thanks TunaCat, You are indeed the type of person I want to hear from. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. I want to ensure you that I would never abandon my child. I love her too much for that, whatever happens between me and her mum. I would never get involved with drink or drugs; I could get kicked off my course if I do. You're right. I'm very tempted at this moment to try and get extenuating circumstances for my upcoming exams and sit a few and leave the rest until summer. It essentially means I can free up some time in the immediate future to be around my family, that do need me. I just have to hope the extenuating circumstances are accepted. I do need them too. I wouldn't have made my post if I didn't care. Thank Tuna, you've made things very clear.
Author Mr.MikeK Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 Mike , I am sorry to all what you and your partner have gone through ,and may god Bless your little angel. I am not sure what was your mental illness ; but having red your story , i can say you are wiser than many other who claim to be ; this can be easily noticed by having you accepting to seek professional help ; and acknowledge your mistakes. I want to give you some advises that comes just from experience in life : -Your wife is suffering from so many things now .. she needs a strong man beside her ; my advise to you don't disturb her with details of your mental therapy. -Never ever ask any women in general for more intimacy ;believe me the more you talk with any women about intimacy , the less you will get ; instead if you want more intimacy , get her the things she likes, actions not words. -Act mire , say less. -Do not assume unconditional love,love is like a garden , it needs maintenance; the first step toward love busters is granted love. -never forget any occasion nowadays; even if u bring a flower. Stop using any deal breaker that u can not execute ; anyway , now it is time for love and care ; not your way ( physical), because for your Venus lady now that form of love is a punishment. Best of all , pls keep posting Hugs Hi Phoenician, Thank you for your kind words and advice. I've always battled mental health problems, but of course these have been exacerbated as of late due to the circumstances. I've recognised the signs and am choosing to seek help before it's too late. Thank you for the tips! I have read every one and will take all on board!
lolablue17 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Maybe it would be easier for you to deal with all your the mess in your life, while being close and loving with your GF. Why don't you just come and hug her and tell her that everything is gonna be alright, and that if you'll get to the point when it's her or your studying, you will choose her, actually all the nice things you wrote here in the thread. Go now and tell her - She needs you. 1
Phoenician Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Mike , you are most welcome , if I were you , and if you really love her ; soon you can give her the best gift she would dream of : A marriage proposal ! simply , a ring two witnesses and a vow ! the most imp for her is the vow....
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