Mjm1014 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 So I met up with a girl tonight that I met online. She texted me out of the blue to come to a bar to meet up with her and her friend (first time meeting). I showed up, and immediately realized the girl wasn't what I was expecting (still super nice though and fun to talk to-but wasn't really attracted and she kept smoking which isn't my thing), but her friend seemed very into me off the bat and was def flirting with me half the time and giving strong IOI's..she is in the same industry as myself so we had a lot to talk about-basically we hit it off hard (don't worry I talked to both girls equally but just felt a stronger connection from her friend). I realize it would be a dick move to pursue her friend, and I don't want to get in between either of them. I'm almost 60% sure the girl that I was suppose to be "meeting" wasn't all that interested but could tell she was being nice still, but I could be wrong. My gut is telling me to just let this go-it's not worth hurting this girls feelings, but I was really digging her friend and would like her number. Most likely, I'll just move on completely, unless someone has a good idea that won't make me look like a jerk, and won't hurt anyone's feelings-def not the kind of guy that wants anyone hurt. Thanks!
loveweary11 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I say screw it. But.., you should have found a way to get the friend's number that night at the bar. 2
Author Mjm1014 Posted April 11, 2015 Author Posted April 11, 2015 Yeah there was no chance. I could only be there for a half hour or 45 min because of an obligation and we were at a table the entire time. Trust me it crossed my mind lol...
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 You don't owe this girl anything yet. Go for her friend if you like her more. 3
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I am a woman and I am with barcode on this one. Go for the girl you like. Let the 2 girls decide if it's a go or not. The girl you like will ask her friend if it's ok, she'll approve or disapprove. It's to be solved between them. 3
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 If that girl was really into you she would ask her friend to see your dating profile or get your number from her friend. She will contact you.
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 If that girl was really into you she would ask her friend to see your dating profile or get your number from her friend. She will contact you. Disagree. That is telling a man to be passive. The girl is probably wondering if OP was interested in her or it was just her imagination, like most women wonder. OP needs to take the lead. 2
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Disagree. That is telling a man to be passive. The girl is probably wondering if OP was interested in her or it was just her imagination, like most women wonder. OP needs to take the lead. It was just a suggestion if the OP had no way of contacting this girl.
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 imo women should step up if they see opportunity. I'm sure she was feeling the vibe too, and that should be enough to make a move on her end. A guy that is aloof is more likely to get the attention.
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 It was just a suggestion if the OP had no way of contacting this girl. Oh! I think he should ask that other girl he was going to meet lol They met once and she brought a friend along, if she had seen potential in him she would never had done that. She brought a friend along cause she was afraid he would be a bore and didn't want him to hit on her.
Mrin Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Yeah there was no chance. I could only be there for a half hour or 45 min because of an obligation and we were at a table the entire time. Trust me it crossed my mind lol... Same industry right? See if she is on LinkedIn 4
Hawaii51 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I would've disclosed. You had everything to gain and only something you didn't want, to actually lose. win/win, buy 'em both a drink and thank them for the evening.
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Oh! I think he should ask that other girl he was going to meet lol They met once and she brought a friend along, if she had seen potential in him she would never had done that. She brought a friend along cause she was afraid he would be a bore and didn't want him to hit on her. If this were true then there would be no reason to even show up. Some just do to it for security reasons.....OR they bring a friend because they were going out later anyways, or have the friend judge her date/ give opinion. I do know the younger ones do this with their BFF. It's silly but some do this.
writergal Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 OP, why would it have been a bad move to pursue her friend? This was the first time you met this woman in person whom you met online. You owe her nothing. It would only have been a douche-move had you dated the woman for say a month and then met her friend. But at this point the OLD woman is still a complete stranger to you, so it would have been awkward but not douche-y to pursue her friend. If you can't find her friend's profile on social media, then better luck next time? The whole wing-woman strategy for meeting an OLD date in person seems silly to me. Just meet the man yourself in a public place and if there's no attraction, go on with your day. The only time I was ever a wing-er was at freshman and sophomore college house parties. Not as the DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) but as the DGF (designed goofball friend; the friend meant to break up awkward silence, cut tension with a bad joke, etc.). A few times it worked in my favor (whoo hoo) and there was some awkward friend drama but when you're 18-19 years old, that's what you do right?
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I agree you owe her nothing......good luck in your search.
Gary S Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I can see it now.... "Um... can I get your friend's number"?! - How that's going to go over depends on how well the two girls get along. It might be a real hit to the girls' ego. I would not do it... I'd let them sort it out among themselves and call me if they want to. Don't go on group dates for the first six months.
fred123 Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Interesting. Why did she bring a friend to a first meet up? Definitely not interested if a girl does that i think. You should have decline right away. Its a diffixult one. Morals and all. Hmmm
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