Dallers Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I never get myself into these situations. Ever. So I have no idea how I have allowed this to happen. But I did. Now I need your help. I have been giving myself the same advice I would give anyone else on here but need to hear it from you to do the right thing because you never listen to your own advice. The short story. I met this girl a 10 days ago. We hit it off straight away. Swapped numbers and started getting to know each other. Her background is that she is an army medic and is deployed often and so it makes it difficult for her to meet someone meaningful. 19 months she has been single lets call her C. She is everything I look for in a woman and the first to really push my senses. You know when you just hit it off with someone, talk for like ever, hours on end, all night long, long drawn out messages and cannot believe you connect with someone in this way. This is C. So for the first time in 10 years I have met someone I actually feel something for rather than it being a drama filled fling. We are talking tonight and of course she drops the bombshell. We are suppose to be going out on Tuesday and it was bound to go somewhere and she tells me that she may have to deploy abroad for 90 days in 10 days time and she has no choice. I have gone through the motions. We talked about it and in the end I said I need to just be left alone and if I change my mind I would contact her. She sent me one final long drawn out message an hour ago and I am now dealing with a ridiculous situation which I know cannot work out but still you want to think it can. I know if Tuesday happens it will be the point of no return. We will have this moment and then I am just longing until she goes and until she returns. I think that what I have taken from her so far is that she is a girl who I could trust and would likely be a good candidate for something more but at the same time it is so early on that it would be crazy for me to even consider this. Either of us could meet someone in the next 3 months. Following a long talk with my best friend I am left with two choices and I know which one is the right choice. To not continue with this date and leave it now with the unlikely chance I might still feel for her in three months and return to the possibility of a date then. Go through with Tuesday and possibly one more meeting before she leaves and then deal with the fact this girl who is twanging my heart strings might meet someone or not come back for months and maybe longer and the possible realisation that when she does return we both no longer feel the same. I suppose there is also the chance Tuesday does not go to plan. Although this is a very far fetched theory considering we are already smitten with each other. I know I need to walk away so I do not need any patronising comments. Hit me with what I need to hear please. Thank you.
Gary S Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I feel for you, long distance relationships don't often workout. It would be hell missing her for 3 months. Not my idea of fun. All you can do is get busy with work, play, dating other girls, and move on. Time will heal. 1
Author Dallers Posted April 11, 2015 Author Posted April 11, 2015 I hear you. I am unsure if I should just go with it until she leaves at least.
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I hear you. I am unsure if I should just go with it until she leaves at least. So you can feel even more sad when she is gone? It is best to invest in someone that fulfills your expectations. 1
Satu Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I would wait for 90 days if all the signs were right, but that's just me. Only you know whats best for you. 2
Versacehottie Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 or...here's another possibility. You could do something different than you normally do. Just go with it. Your post indicates that you are overthinking it. Who knows what will happen in 3 months? Why not just have fun on tuesday and then decide to see how you feel afterward but not do long distance just date others until she comes back. And if mutual feelings are still there when she is back, pick it up from there. You will get to compare your other dating experiences to this one who right now you feel is so perfect. Plus life is about experiences and taking chances--when it's a good one like this, what is the question? Just do it. 3
Author Dallers Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 Just wanted to say Thank you for all your posts. I knew what I had to do but sometimes it helps hearing it from others. Best date I have had in 10 years. Clicked just like we did through message and was perfect in every way.
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