zanesfan Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I met this guy 3 weeks ago on a dating site and we hit it off quickly. Everyday we talked for hours and then when we went on a date it was great. After our date we continued to talk on the phone for hours. We had a lot in common and things felt right. He even hide his profile and I did the same. After 3 or 4 dates I went to his house around 5 because he wanted to grill for us. As we were walking to his apt., He told me he thought a girl wanted a piece of chicken he grilled. I said jokingly, you don't need to feed anyone but me. I thought he would laugh but he said if you are the jealous type you can leave right now. I have no room for that. So as we were walking to his apt. I grabbed my keys and went to my car. I came back to his apt and started laughing. He did not take it to well and said I could leave and he wasn't going to chase after me. I said wow I'm sorry. It was just a joke and I won't do it again. But he continued on this rant..not mean but blowing things out of proportion. He hurt my feelings so I left for real. That night I did not hear from him so the next day I apologize again. I said I'm not jealous (and I'm not). The girls boyfriend was out there with her.as well. He said his ex wife was jealous and he dealt with it for 13 years and the first sight of jealousy he breaks it off with women. He also told me prior to us meeting, he broke it off with 3 other women for petty reasons. Today he got back on the dating site and he didn't try to call me yesterday so I asked him if we should part ways. He responded.. Part ways? We were never together. He also said he was going to continue to date. I was floored. Like what just happened. Did I really do something terribly wrong?
fitnessfan365 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Guy sounds like a head case with a lot of baggage. If anything, he should be the one apologizing to you for overreacting. Since it's only been three weeks, I'd recommend walking away from the guy. It's good that he showed his true colors this early on, and not months/years in. Consider yourself lucky. 6
Hawaii51 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Yeah, I agree.. He obviously isn't ready for a relationship if he's breaking them all off for petty reasons. 1
Author zanesfan Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Thanks whew. I knew in my heart it wasnt a big deal. I told him he was scarred and scorned. I also felt like I was owed an apology and told him this. He never apologized. It over for sure but I wanted to make sure I had an understanding of what happened from a different pof. 1
Gaeta Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 You said nothing wrong! This man has serious problems between his ears, what an idiot. He is not ready to date and won't be for a while. The way he talked to you and at this early stage is not something to be overlooked! You are definitely better without him. 1
Mrin Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I dub him Samsonite. Damn. Dodged a bullet there you did. Some therapist could make a small fortune unwinding that mess. It would be like an annuity... 1
Anela Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 You have dodged a bullet. I had one guy admit that he was "punishing" me when he cut contact for three months. This was after I'd sent him an email, stating that he must have changed his mind (about having any sort of relationship with me), because he'd just disappeared, so I was saying goodbye. I hadn't heard from him for weeks, he wasn't in an accident or anything, he was just screwing with my head. 1
Frank2thepoint Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I said jokingly, you don't need to feed anyone but me. That's a good one. That line reminds me of the song "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions: "So give her inches and feed her well" He said his ex wife was jealous and he dealt with it for 13 years and the first sight of jealousy he breaks it off with women. There it is. He has baggage, and now he is overly sensitive to any type of jealousy. Be grateful his issue came out so soon that you aren't that much invested. 2
fred123 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Maybe you were just friends to him and you read his signals wrong.
LostOnes05 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Dude sounds like he can't decide whether to go through PMS or menopause...You didn't need to apologize, especially if you said it in a joking manner and you told him you were kidding. Let him go...his ex-wife still has his balls. 1
Satu Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 *Did I really do something terribly wrong? * Not at all. There was no way you could have predicted that reaction. Don't blame yourself.
Gary S Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Originally Posted by zanesfan View Post He said his ex wife was jealous and he dealt with it for 13 years and the first sight of jealousy he breaks it off with women. There it is. He has baggage, and now he is overly sensitive to any type of jealousy. Be grateful his issue came out so soon that you aren't that much invested. - Bingo. Some people have too much baggage to be a good catch.
Author zanesfan Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Thanks everyone. It has made it easier to deal with. His ex wife has him bitter. He has a lot of credit card debt from the marriage that he is tackling himself and he told me he would never get into debt with someone else...even his future wife. So yes, I dodge a bullet. Its sad how one person can't corrupt another. But I'm not going to pay for his ex mistake.
mrs rubble Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Thanks everyone. It has made it easier to deal with. His ex wife has him bitter. He has a lot of credit card debt from the marriage that he is tackling himself and he told me he would never get into debt with someone else...even his future wife. So yes, I dodge a bullet. Its sad how one person can't corrupt another. But I'm not going to pay for his ex mistake. You've only heard his side of the story over what happened with the ex. She could be a perfectly lovely person in reality. You have however seen first hand how nutty he is. His reaction was way OTT, imagine what he'd be like if something really did go down.
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Did I really do something terribly wrong? No....this guy is horribly damaged. His negative experience with his ex is still too fresh. He isn't ready for a relationship. You dodged a bullet.
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