Amy77 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I'm 19 and currently going through a heartbreak which I don't think I can take much more of, the pain never seems to go away even when I'm acting like I'm having a good time in still in agony inside I can't stop thinking about him.. I've thought of ending it all but the only thing that stops me is thinking about my mother finding me. So instead I want to start cutting myself to see if it can release some of my pain, just wondering did anyone here ever do it and is it easy to hide marks etc?
Rainbowlove Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Amy, We all go through heartbreaks in life. I'm sorry for you pain. Cutting yourself will only accomplish scarring your body. It does nothing to heal the inside of you, which is what's hurting. Can you talk to your mom about your feelings and seek counseling to help you find a healthy way to deal with your hurt? RL 1
Toodaloo Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Amy I think you need to go and see your doctor. As soon as possible. It may seem like an easy "out" at the moment but long term its not. Keep going out and doing fun things. Make sure you look after yourself and talk to your friends and family. Put all the old photos and mementos into a box at the back of the cupboard. Delete his number and remove all contact from all sources such as email and Facebook etc. Get involved in as much sport as you can and get involved in your hobbies. Not got any? Go and find things that you may like to try and try them! 1
stillafool Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Sweetie everyone goes through heartbreak. It is a part of life. You have to push through it and you will be okay in the end. If this was your first love it is extra difficult but you can do it. We've all been there. You are young with many more loves ahead of you. I promise. Don't give up. 1
amaysngrace Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 The scars last longer than any feel-good feelings. So not only will you go back to feeling crappy, you'll be scarred up too. Does your mom know that you're in this much pain? 1
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Cutting is a thing / desire that requires medical attention. The scars cannot be hidden & opening your skin does not actually release the hurt so all you do is mark yourself without a result. Talk to your mom. Ask her to help you find a good therapist. You can survive this. If you genuinely feel suicidal, call a hotline. No guy is worth your life. Things will get better if you give them time. Please hang in there.
Author Amy77 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Thanks for the response guys didn't think id get any, I don't know I've tried everything to feel normal again but I just can't I'm just kinda stuck I have a lot of good friends and family but no one understands how I'm feeling, just think the only way to mask the inside pain would be I cause physical if that makes sense? It is not like me at all I used to be so bubbly but now I just feel depressed but have to hide it to everyone, the only one who could make me feel happy is my ex but he's happy with someone else now.
salparadise Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Amy, call your GP to get a recommendation or make an appointment with a qualified psychologist––today! Suicidal ideations and cutting are serious and indicate that you need to be in treatment without delay. It will help. Also, call a crisis hotline to talk with trained mental health staff anytime you feel like self-harm, or if you just feel the need to talk to someone who will empathize and not judge. While the pain of a breakup can be intense, it's temporary and like all things, it too will pass. Take care of yourself by seeking the right kind of help from someone who cares and is trained to help you through it.
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I've tried everything to feel normal again . If you haven't tried therapy you haven't tried everything. Seriously. A good therapist will help you feel normal again. Don't worry about any stigma. Everybody needs a little help now & then. If you fell down & broke your arm you would go to the doctor to get a cast right? It's the same principle; you need professional medical care to fix your broken heart.
Author Amy77 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 So I finally did it and it actually felt good better than I thought it would, it's like if I have that pain then the inside pain is dulled for a bit. I know this is a dangerous path to go on but I'm desperate, I don't think therapy would help because I can't even describe to my best friends how I'm feeling yet alone a stranger
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Honey -- cutting is a mental illness. It's dangerous. Please, please please I'm begging you go to a doctor. Stop cutting. A trained medical professional will have ways to make it easier for you to talk.
amaysngrace Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I don't think therapy would help because I can't even describe to my best friends how I'm feeling yet alone a stranger Sometimes it's actually easier to talk to a stranger about it because they don't know you and they won't judge you for not being bubbly anymore. And they won't turn their back on you either and because they're trained to help you they'll know how to get you to identify your feelings. They've done it a hundred times before and have probably heard just about everything before. Please go tell your mom.
preraph Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Thanks for the response guys didn't think id get any, I don't know I've tried everything to feel normal again but I just can't I'm just kinda stuck I have a lot of good friends and family but no one understands how I'm feeling, just think the only way to mask the inside pain would be I cause physical if that makes sense? It is not like me at all I used to be so bubbly but now I just feel depressed but have to hide it to everyone, the only one who could make me feel happy is my ex but he's happy with someone else now. Cutting is from feeling like you can't express yourself. Dear, literally everyone knows how heartbreak feels. Do not start this self-destructive habit. It's like bulemia and anorexia in many ways. You definitely need to have your mom put you in therapy right this minute. You can talk to them about it and explore your feelings. You might even find some solace talking to a church counselor or a school counselor -- but please believe those who are older and wiser, and seek help right away! And if you won't do it for the right reasons, then do it for this reason: No one wants to date a cutter! Men run from this kind of crazy, and they should because someone still doing it is someone who is too stubborn to get help for it.
whichwayisup Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I'm 19 and currently going through a heartbreak which I don't think I can take much more of, the pain never seems to go away even when I'm acting like I'm having a good time in still in agony inside I can't stop thinking about him.. I've thought of ending it all but the only thing that stops me is thinking about my mother finding me. So instead I want to start cutting myself to see if it can release some of my pain, just wondering did anyone here ever do it and is it easy to hide marks etc? Talk to your mom about your pain. Ask for help, reach out to her or friends that you can rely on. Counseling will help too, to help you cope with this in a healthier way. Cutting may resolve what you're feeling for a few moments but it won't stop the pain of losing someone you loved. I am sorry that you're hurting, we all know how that feels and it certainly sucks. No guy is worth doing self damage to yourself. For whatever reason your relationship with him didn't work out.
whichwayisup Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 So I finally did it and it actually felt good better than I thought it would, it's like if I have that pain then the inside pain is dulled for a bit. I know this is a dangerous path to go on but I'm desperate, I don't think therapy would help because I can't even describe to my best friends how I'm feeling yet alone a stranger I wish I was there to give you a big hug and to take you to counseling. Therapy does work! Cutting will only lead to a learned behaviour and it could get out of control. You're young, beautiful and smart, you have so much to live for, at 19 you have the whole world to explore and have wonderful experiences, traveling and working, getting to know people and have memories that last forever. Please talk to your mom, at least just start off by telling her you need a professional to talk to. A therapist has heard it all, so chances are she (or he) will understand exactly what you're feeling and give you the help and skills you need to stop cutting and handle pain in a healthier way.
spiderowl Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 So I finally did it and it actually felt good better than I thought it would, it's like if I have that pain then the inside pain is dulled for a bit. I know this is a dangerous path to go on but I'm desperate, I don't think therapy would help because I can't even describe to my best friends how I'm feeling yet alone a stranger Amy, I'm sorry you felt the need to do that. It's not the solution. I know you feel you can't talk to anybody but it can be easier talking to a trained professional who is a stranger to you than to someone you know. Most people aren't very good at listening, to be honest, and a trained counsellor knows how to listen and how to help you understand your feelings. Can you go and see your doctor and tell him/her how bad you are feeling at the moment? Ask about counselling? I do know how painful a break-up is. Lots of people on here do - that's why they are here to listen while you tell us what's happened. I was with a bird watcher for a while then he ended the relationship. I felt awful pain like you and I thought it would never end, but it diminished gradually. For three months I felt gut-wrenching pain every time I saw a bird - and you know how many wretched birds there are around us! I can see them now and I'm not at all bothered, in fact I love birds. I know the acute stage is awful. Please post here and people will try to help. xx 2
LoverOfDance Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 @Amy77 When I was 19, I fell in love with a man who is unavailable. When I fell for him, I had no idea he had a gf. They've been together for 13 years. We were never together. He didn't cheat on her with me and I didn't want him to cheat. For some reason I just felt really connected to him. It hurt me so much to know he was with someone else. It hurt me even more to know that they've been together for so long. They might as well be married. I fell really hard for him, and have never felt for anyone what I felt for him. It seemed like he had feelings for me as well and that made me like him even more. I wanted him so much and I cried and cried and cried because I felt stuck in the situation. One night, I was in so much pain after seeing him. The heartbreak wasn't the only thing I was struggling with. I was struggling with other things as well. Plus my dad had been murdered a few months earlier. It was all too much for me to handle. I picked up a knife and I cut myself. And then I just stood there and watched the blood drip from my wrist. After that day, I told myself I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't going to let myself suffer. I wasn't created to be depressed and to feel so much heartache. I vowed that I would fight for myself. And that I would fight for my happiness. I am 23 now and I am happier :-) I never cut myself again after that day. I miss my dad but I pray for him all the time and I know that God hears me. I still love the man I fell for 4 years ago and I will probably always love him and that's ok. I hope he is happy whether it's with me or not. I remind myself that my happiness is not in his hands. I DON't need him to be happy. I fight for my happiness everyday and I will continue to do that until the day I die. Fight for your happiness Amy. Don't give up. Don't let yourself be overcome by heartbreak or depression. You don't need him to be happy. Whether you're happy or not, it all depends on you. You deserve to be happy Amy. Get up and fight your happiness! 2
digdug75 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 (edited) I'm 19 and currently going through a heartbreak which I don't think I can take much more of, the pain never seems to go away even when I'm acting like I'm having a good time in still in agony inside I can't stop thinking about him.. I've thought of ending it all but the only thing that stops me is thinking about my mother finding me. So instead I want to start cutting myself to see if it can release some of my pain, just wondering did anyone here ever do it and is it easy to hide marks etc? It depends on where you choose to cut yourself. I have cut myself on my forearms. I wouldn't recommend it though for me it was only a temporary release the pain and aguish would come back. I have read that you have done it already. Its really not worth scarring your body. If you cut yourself deep enough that scar will be with you the rest of your life. Don't beat yourself up. Only way I know to get rid of such pain is to talk it out. Use this site explain why you are so hurt and the relationship you had with this guy. Others on this site will take the time to help. Ask how to get rid of this pain. For me researching, and learning what has caused the pain has been helpful. Do the best you can to learn from relationship. Another thing I did was force my self to watch a comedy. Watching a comedy is a temporary fix also, but gave me a break of the obsessive thinking to do something else. I do not know your circumstance of why things ended between you and your boyfriend. I can only tell you that there are many people on this site that would most likely understand and are willing to help. Some may have been though the very same thing you have gone through and felt the same feelings. It is good to have somebody that can relate. I have tried it and got a huge reality check that opened my eyes to my own actions. I forgot to mention. I would listen to music to try to get through the pain, but for me it only intensified the emotion. Making it easier to cut myself. Music doesn't do that for everyone but for me it did. For me when I was able to run. That helped out with some relief. The more emotion I felt the faster I would run. I guess any kind of exercise would work. Even using a pillow to hit the wall till you can't do it anymore may help. I hope you are able to get through this without scaring yourself anymore. Take care! Edited April 11, 2015 by digdug75 1
Chaser of Eros Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I'm 19 and currently going through a heartbreak which I don't think I can take much more of, the pain never seems to go away even when I'm acting like I'm having a good time in still in agony inside I can't stop thinking about him.. I've thought of ending it all but the only thing that stops me is thinking about my mother finding me. So instead I want to start cutting myself to see if it can release some of my pain, just wondering did anyone here ever do it and is it easy to hide marks etc? Don't do it. cutting yourself will only make you internalize and self-blame yourself on future situations. instead of cutting yourself, take some time out and chill. listen to or write some music, create a piece (if you do art), write a short story, but whatever you do please don't hurt yourself. hurting yourself will only complicate your already fragile state. I hope everything turns out well for you.
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