Jealous of nephew and accused bf of cheating he will not talk to me now.

[lilygreen]

Where to start well me and my BF where dating for almost two years and every thing was going great.

 

I live with my sister and go to college and agreed to watch by sisters kid and pay reduced rent so it was more like less than half . Well over the two years my nephew he is six years old now has bounded with my Bf and adores him to death. I have dated men that would make me do all the work. my BF on the other hand jumps right in and interacts with my nephew and helps clean and cook and even reads him bed time stories.

 

Even when my sister was out of town for work and I had to watch him foe a week my BF was more exited that I was. I got sick and got Walking pneumonia and had to stay in bed for a week and thank god my BF had the week off he took care of me and my nephew .

 

I told my BF he does not have to do all that but he said he wanted to. Last year my nephew drew a pic he had to draw his family and drew my BF as Dad and told my sister he wishes wants my BF got be his dad and that all he wants for Xmas. When my BF found out it made him cry be his dad was not around much and never made time for him and when his dad did have time for him his dad wanted noting to do with him.

 

Have you ever heard the song cat in the cradle by Harry Chapin that my BF a and his dad's relationship. My BF a just wanted to prove to him self that he can be a good dad and not be live that.

 

I must admit seeing my BF cry like that freaked my out I am not used to seeing a guy cry or be in touch with his emotions.

 

I feel like I bad person because now my BF pays more attention to my nephew than me . He says he sorry it is just that he needs to pay more attention to me. Also my BF plans things to do with my nephew when I have to watch him like going to the zoo I come along it not like I saty at home. I just feel like we do not go on dates anymore like we used to. On a good note my BF been giving me more attention but I still feel jealous towards my nephew.

 

Now my BF is good looking and woman flirt with him a lot more than i like . People say my BF looks like young Ralph Fiennes the guy that was in the English Patient. he is also in God shape but not someone that lives at the gym. Also he works at a children's hospital as a nurse.

 

He can fix things around the house and does not let people walk all over him. He is an introvert and very down to earth. One last thing is you will not find a person to say anything bad about him.

 

Well there is this girl he works with that he had sex with a long time ago like when they were in college together and I am not cool with that. I meet her and she told me she is happy for him and told me he great. She has a man and a kid so it not she trying to move on my man.

It is this other coworker that wants him I know this because she flirts with him and I can tell she wants him.

 

I also do not like the fact that my BF a get hugs from other woman. Like this one time I was eating lunch with my BF at his work and this woman her kids was a patient of his came over and said thank you for everything my BF a stood up to shake her hand but she gave him a hug a quick one but I got mad at him. She was a first time mom and was freaking out about her child and he claimed her down and said to did the right thing by bring him in it was noting that serious and every thing was fine in the end.

 

I think this is what made my BF mad at me is when we were at a friends from works place for dinner and a few people from work here there I got mad at this girl that was all over my BF he told her he was not interested and he has a GF but I made a scene by telling her to back off my man and was a little drunk and made a fool of myself. I did however the next day go over there and apologize in person and every thing good now.

 

That night My BF and I talked and it lead to a fight I asked if he ever cheated and he was shocked I even ask him that. He told me what have I ever done to make you think that? He told me I acting like a child and I got mad and said something that hurt him . I said well add least I did not cry after sex and she a therapist.

 

Yea my BF did cry after we had sex once like Eight months into dating he told me he was so happy to find a good woman after not dating for so long. He does see a therapist but will not talk to me about it.

 

I feel like a POS right now he will not talk to me or text me or even want to see me but I am sorry and understand if he never wants to see me. My mom very upset at me because she thinks I letting the best thing that ever happened to me walk out of my life and she is right.

 

My nephew told me he hates me and will not talk to me and my sister things I being stupid and needs to grow up.

How can I get him back ? I understand he not want me back but I going to win him back.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

Honestly it sounds like you need to step up to the plate and spend more time with your Nephew - it sounds like your Boyfriend is doing all the work.

 

You sound really insecure and jealous... I mean being jealous of a 6yo? Really?

[lilygreen]

Honestly it sounds like you need to step up to the plate and spend more time with your Nephew - it sounds like your Boyfriend is doing all the work.

 

You sound really insecure and jealous... I mean being jealous of a 6yo? Really?

 

I know I a bad GF and wish I was not jealous and insecure . It is just I been hurt in the past and don't want to get hurt again.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

I know I a bad GF and wish I was not jealous and insecure . It is just I been hurt in the past and don't want to get hurt again.

 

Before you can be in a relationship you need to be able to be by yourself. Your BF deserves respect and you don't seem able to respect anyone right now.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Sounds like your BF needs a new Gf.

 

But you seem like the type of girl that will just hold onto a guy just for him being a good catch and other women being interested in him...you're obviously jealous of the attention he gets as well as his relationships with other people including your nephew, and feels it leaves you in the shadows.

 

But in all honesty it sounds like he just is a better catch than you are, you seem insecure and in need of a lot of attention and to be the center of the world all the time or you shatter into pieces.

 

The guy needs to be with someone who is more secure in herself and doesn't become jealous over things that are more to do with how she feels inside about herself, which you take out on your BF and his relationships with others. You're just going to create drama and give this guy a hard time for being himself and essentially a good guy...you'll a ruin a good thing because you let yourself down in the past and get hitched up with the wrong men...that's the price you pay for your choices, not your BF.

 

Get help and work on yourself or just let your BF be and find a good woman who can appreciate what he does and who he is, without making him feel guilty over doing nothing wrong. You're punishing him for nothing and will continue to be this way as your insecurity will suck the life out of anything good.

 

Sorry it's gotta be that harsh, and I doubt he's going to let you go so easily as I'm sure he's manipulated by your words and behavior...but I think he should move on, and then you can get yourself in another toxic relationship where your drama and jealousy can be set free. At least you'll be able to validate your irrational fears and emotions then.

[lilygreen]

Before you can be in a relationship you need to be able to be by yourself. Your BF deserves respect and you don't seem able to respect anyone right now.

 

You are right I need to work on that and will.

[lilygreen]

Sounds like your BF needs a new Gf.

 

But you seem like the type of girl that will just hold onto a guy just for him being a good catch and other women being interested in him...you're obviously jealous of the attention he gets as well as his relationships with other people including your nephew, and feels it leaves you in the shadows.

 

But in all honesty it sounds like he just is a better catch than you are, you seem insecure and in need of a lot of attention and to be the center of the world all the time or you shatter into pieces.

 

The guy needs to be with someone who is more secure in herself and doesn't become jealous over things that are more to do with how she feels inside about herself, which you take out on your BF and his relationships with others. You're just going to create drama and give this guy a hard time for being himself and essentially a good guy...you'll a ruin a good thing because you let yourself down in the past and get hitched up with the wrong men...that's the price you pay for your choices, not your BF.

 

Get help and work on yourself or just let your BF be and find a good woman who can appreciate what he does and who he is, without making him feel guilty over doing nothing wrong. You're punishing him for nothing and will continue to be this way as your insecurity will suck the life out of anything good.

 

Sorry it's gotta be that harsh, and I doubt he's going to let you go so easily as I'm sure he's manipulated by your words and behavior...but I think he should move on, and then you can get yourself in another toxic relationship where your drama and jealousy can be set free. At least you'll be able to validate your irrational fears and emotions then.

 

I needed to hear that and if he wants to break up i understand but I want him back . The sad part for me is there is a girl all ready that I thought was my friend asked me if it be ok if she went after my BF If he dumps me I was like than we can't be friends I can't see my BF a with another woman I am friends with.

 

I did talk to him but he said he does not forgive that easy and not sure he wants to be with me . He wants to give me a second chance but feels like he should not. he went on to say he not getting any younger and does not want to wait for me to grow up. He is in his early 30 and I am 25 years old .

[Ninjainpajamas]

I needed to hear that and if he wants to break up i understand but I want him back . The sad part for me is there is a girl all ready that I thought was my friend asked me if it be ok if she went after my BF If he dumps me I was like than we can't be friends I can't see my BF a with another woman I am friends with.

 

I did talk to him but he said he does not forgive that easy and not sure he wants to be with me . He wants to give me a second chance but feels like he should not. he went on to say he not getting any younger and does not want to wait for me to grow up. He is in his early 30 and I am 25 years old .

 

Well look, I'm 34 years old, this guy is closer to my age. I can tell you as an older guy he should have a lot more sense in dating a 25 year old than a woman his equal age. He would be an idiot to expect you to be on a certain level of experience and maturity level, you are in all fairness still growing up and will make mistakes that you will regret and be embarrassed by, this is something he should already know and have taken into account.

 

If I were to date a woman in her mid-20's, I'm knowledgeable enough to know the difference and wouldn't have the same exact expectations...it doesn't mean you couldn't do something that wouldn't turn me off or be unforgivable no matter how old you are, but I'd definitely have more leniency towards you at 25 than if you were 30, that might not sound like a lot on paper but you do a lot of growth between those years.

 

In fact I was talking to an ex recently I hadn't talked to in a number of years as a life circumstance brought us back in touch with each other that we were both connected to in the past. We were both in our mid 20's at that time, and the way we reflected on just even that distance of time ago, it was like another world. She reflected on it saying it felt like she was a different person back then and it felt like a different life, like it wasn't even her. I felt the same way, we had a lot of drama but it was hard to really take those things in a serious light although they were hugely important and felt so catastrophic when we were in it...but it the memory truly felt like a different world, we are different people now with completely different perspectives...it is almost nearly incomparable.

 

At the end of the day I just want you to understand that this just might not be the relationship for you or what you that thought it was, there's still a lot of life to live and life is going to surprise you, and you will grow and find yourself in a new way in the future.

 

For now, just try to focus on the bigger picture...don't fight it out and create a big drama out of this, try to work this out as sensibly as you can...although your feelings are at a high, no matter what happens in the end it's going to work out for what it's meant to be. You are not in reality ready for this relationship this guy wants to have, or he's a bit sneakier and clever than you think and you don't really know what his intentions or mindset is...but that's a whole other can of worms, I'd be able to sniff him out if I was there in a heartbeat but it's too vague coming from you, from the sound of it he sounds like a good genuine guy, but I wasn't born yesterday and just trust a guy that easily like that's all he is...I know what people are on the outside doesn't necessarily mean that is reflective of how they feel or think on the inside.

 

He needs to understand that you need some time to grow and mature, if he doesn't get that and doesn't, tell him Ninja told him he's an idiot for being with you in the first place because that's a real easy card to pull on a younger woman anyway, very convenient...I'd definitely drill this guy for you on a few things, he wouldn't be able to manipulate me with anything if he was trying to...but if he's genuine, then he just needs to simply move on.

[Redhead14]

I know I a bad GF and wish I was not jealous and insecure . It is just I been hurt in the past and don't want to get hurt again.

 

 

You are hurting yourself by allowing the past to interfere in the present. For now, I would give your boyfriend some space. I would only contact him once in a while with nothing but light, supportive conversation and if he contacts you first.

 

In addition, I would start spending a lot of time with your nephew and focusing on yourself for a while. Let your boyfriend see that your attitude is changing. If he sees enough of that and for a while, he may reconsider. But don't count on it. Doing this will at least give the best opportunity for it to happen.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

OP why don't you focus on being a good Aunt to your Nephew? Or are you not the Maternal type of Woman?

[smackie9]

Wow just wow......I can tell when you asked him if he ever cheated on you was a punch to the gut, I can feel his pain from here. What a horrible thing to ask when he has been a total saint. He's an adult is perfectly capable of keeping any women that pursues him in check.

 

Your behavior not only has affected your relationship with him, but it's also having a negative effect on those around you.

 

Your jealous eyes with be your demise to any future happiness.

 

As for your BF, you are the one that has control over how much time he spends with your nephew. Just a simple explanation like wanting some one on one time would clear this up without the drama.

[Frank2thepoint]

I must admit seeing my BF cry like that freaked my out I am not used to seeing a guy cry or be in touch with his emotions.

 

He told me I acting like a child and I got mad and said something that hurt him . I said well add least I did not cry after sex and she a therapist.

 

Yea my BF did cry after we had sex once like Eight months into dating he told me he was so happy to find a good woman after not dating for so long.

 

Way to go. Ridiculing your boyfriend's moment of weakness, happiness, and being vulnerable with you. It's true what people say, that women are the most honest when trying to hurt someone. You don't have any respect for your boyfriend.

 

 

How can I get him back ? I understand he not want me back but I going to win him back.

 

He can fix things around the house and does not let people walk all over him.

 

Concerning the boldface, if he really doesn't let anyone walk all over him, then there is nothing you can do. It's best he does break up with you, because you don't respect your boyfriend. You will probably never forgive him for crying, and you see him less of a man because of this. He deserves a real woman that respects him and trusts him. You are not that woman.

 

 

I know I a bad GF and wish I was not jealous and insecure . It is just I been hurt in the past and don't want to get hurt again.

 

And this is a big reason why you should not try to get back your boyfriend. You have issues that you need to resolve and it would be unfair to both you and your boyfriend with continuing the relationship. It would actually be very selfish of you. Let him go. Stay single and work on yourself.