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Is it wrong to have two dates in the same night?


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Posted

Guy #1 I've been on a date with before, and he suggested we see a movie tonight. Okay fine. Then he says "Okay I'll meet you at the theater at xxx time (shortly before the movie starts)." I find that a little weird, or off putting, because, well, let's face it, if you go to a movie with someone, drive separately, and only sit together during the movie, you basically have no time to get to talk/know one another.

 

Guy #2: Has been texting me almost every day (not my idea), I just don't care, he doesn't seem like a bad guy I'm just apathetic. He keeps wanting to get dinner with me. But then our schedules never work out, and he's been gone almost every weekend doing fieldwork for grad school. We haven't met, but he continually texts me. And it's getting really exhausting (not to mention it's a bad idea that builds false expectations) to text someone for weeks on end that I haven't even met yet lives in the same town as me.

 

He asked me last night (shortly after I'd made the movie plan with guy #1) what I was doing tonight.

So I texted him this morning, "I have something to do later on Thursday, but I get off work [1.5 hours before I have to meet guy #1 at the theater], so we could do something quick like coffee or frozen yogurt. Actually, yogurt sounds good (does yogurt sound good? No. But that's suppose to be a hint to meet me for yogurt, d%$%^&, and NOT suggest something else)."

He replies: "Well I don't want to make you rush. How about tomorrow night? Then we can get dinner." I'm just like...No..he doesn't get it.

SO, LSers: Is it BAD to have two dates on the same night? If there's no scheduling conflict?

 

My reasoning is this: I'm already dressed up from work. I had to put makeup on. I already HAVE TO look nice and wear makeup for one date. So I feel like by having a second date, I hit two birds with one stone. Also, I generally haven't AT ALL enjoyed the last several dates I've been on with anyone. I feel bored and trapped, and I either end up having to buy food or coffee I don't want, or feel bad for having a guy I'm not even mildly interested in pay for my dinner (YES, GUYS, there ARE girls who DON'T WANT TO use you! Shocking!). The last date I went on, the guy invited me to get coffee with him, then made me PAY FOR MY OWN COFFEE. I left knowing I'd wasted money on coffee I didn't want, and 45 minutes of my life spent with someone I didn't want to spend time with.

 

I feel like getting fro yo with guy #2 eliminates the "who pays" crisis, and that way if I pay, I didn't have to spend $20 on a dinner I DID NOT WANT, and if he insists on paying, I don't have to feel guilty that I made a poor grad student spend money on me. ALSO, fro yo is normally quick--that way if it's terrible, I can ESCAPE, because I already have somewhere I need to be shortly after.

 

Lastly...I don't want to have to entertain tomorrow night. I want to ENJOY my Friday night, not put on a show for someone. I would way rather be out with my brother, or training for my race next month, or in the pool, or even on my own sofa eating than having someone monopolize my Friday night I didn't want to waste.

 

I mentioned these things to my brother and he's like: "You're a horrible person. Who goes on two dates in one night?" So..is 2 in one night a bad idea? Am I terrible for feeling this way? Any way to be PUSHY and suggest it HAS to be tonight?

Posted

I've done two dates in the same day before where I had one in the afternoon and the other at night. But two dates in the same night seems to be cutting a bit close. Will be curious to see how it plays out for you though.

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Posted

I wouldn't say it's wrong necessarily, but in your case, it sounds like you are going on these dates out of obligation and not a sincere desire to go on them, so why waste your time? I'd either reschedule or find someone else to go on dates with that you're more excited about. You may be putting too much pressure on yourself.

Posted

There is nothing wrong with seeing two guys on the same night. It's called circular or multi-dating.

 

By the way, guy 1 may have asked to meet because half the women out there want to meet twice before the man picks them up at home. It sounds like he's been trained :laugh:

Posted

I've done two dates in the same day many times... But same night is pushing it, because you'll be rushing early one artificially.

 

Last time it was one before work, and one after work when I had a 11-7 day, so they had a natural separation.

Posted
But same night is pushing it, because you'll be rushing early one artificially.

.

 

- So what? Playing hard to get ups interest. If they like you and have a good attitude, they won't drop you because you left early on the first meet.

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Posted

By the way, guy 1 may have asked to meet because half the women out there want to meet twice before the man picks them up at home. It sounds like he's been trained :laugh:

 

I would say that's it, BUT we've hung out several times (an official date+hanging out other times). He's even met a couple of my siblings (including the brother), and hung out with them (don't ask how this transpired, it's so long and weird:laugh:). So it's not like he suspects I think he's a murderer and THAT'S WHY we have to meet at the theater--because yes, with most men, I wouldn't trust being in a car alone with them for a couple times). So why are we meeting at the theater, period?

Posted

^^^^^Okay, I did not know that, so it's not just a second date.

 

You are right - that is lame. A gentleman picks a lady up from her home for a date. May I ask how old you two are?

Posted

If you can make it work, there's nothing wrong with it. And it sounds like there's no secret that you're seeing another man - not that you have to disclose that if you aren't exclusive and not having sex with both.

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Posted
^^^^^

You are right - that is lame. A gentleman picks a lady up from her home for a date. May I ask how old you two are?

 

Good, so that feeling I got when I read his text isn't me being hateful!

 

We're both in our mid 20s.

Posted

only if you have sex with the first one :)

 

I was never much of a multidater but don't see anything wrong with it, I never had the time to devote to that much dating in a short period of time.

Posted

I had sex with 2 different people in same day before and I dont even think that is wrong

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Posted
only if you have sex with the first one :)

 

I was never much of a multidater but don't see anything wrong with it, I never had the time to devote to that much dating in a short period of time.

 

Haha I'm not sleeping with ANYONE:laugh:

 

And as far as time goes--to the contrary: I see this as maximizing my time, because I don't have much free time to waste on dating.

Posted
I had sex with 2 different people in same day before and I dont even think that is wrong

 

- You know, we have names for people like you :laugh: (I'm kidding!)

Posted

OP if you're not feeling enthusiastic about a guy, don't go out with them. Let them save their time and money and date someone who is into them.

 

 

As for the theatre date, he might ask you out for dessert or something afterwards maybe? Who knows...

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