hela Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 And created it only 8 days after the breakup! I just came back from an amazing trip to Mexico with my three best friends and despite my company and my surroundings, I still thought of him. I can feel myself inching towards acceptance, but at a pace that's killing me. And seeing that ridiculous profile... I feel sick to my stomach of him. I am so tired, guys. So unbelievably tired. Of thinking too much, of not being able to concentrate, of feeling like all the horrible things he projected onto me, of feeling stuck, of feeling like I'll never love again, like I'll certainly never trust anyone again. Of feeling unsure of all the things I've believed or any of the experiences I've had while with him. Of feeling sad and miserable and never, ever happy. I hate this. I feel like I've been dragged under by his horrible depression and kept here against my will. I've been trying to live in the present, to take care of the people I love and of myself, but my progress feels so slow that it's maddening. Whereas I've progressed from horrible day to horrible day, to now enduring the horrible spells that come and go during the day (it's been 18 days since the breakup), he's got a dating profile. Great.
fireflywy Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Mine was the next day on match. She had it without a picture but everything else was her. Then, she put a full one on POF which I found two weeks later when I first looked at it. It sucks. The only way to get through it is just let it burn. It's going to suck, it's going to hurt, and even MORE when they take it down (aka found someone else already.) 1. Don't look at it anymore. 2. Don't look at it anymore. 3. Accept that this is a big indicator that they have no more concerns over reuniting with us or reconnecting with us. 4. Let it prevent you from trying to make it work and know that the energy they took in creating it, logging onto it, corresponding with other people, is energy that they are CHOSING not to give to you in case you're still holding on. It sucks. Really hope you do okay. Post here often. P.S. Tell us how fun Mexico was!
ZiggyZoo Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Hang in there, you're only 18 days out. It takes at least a month to see any real progress, so don't feel bad. As far as the POF account, two things come to mind. One, why are you so upset, if you were on there to make an account too? Or two, why were you on there in the first place, if you weren't making an account after all? I'm not trying to accuse or anything, but if you were looking around trying to figure out what your ex is up to, it will only hurt you big time. What he's doing has nothing to do with you, or how he felt about you in the relationship. One of my exs has jumped from girl to girl to girl probably since his first relationship. Its just how he copes with it, which is to say not at all. And yeah, it'll all catch up sometime...your ex could very well be the same, it's just how he gets over a relationship. But you've got to stop thinking about him and what he's doing. I know this is hard to do, but you're going to have unwanted thoughts of him creeping in plenty, without consciously doing it too. The trick now is to get involved in things you've always wanted to try, and work at filling your day with them instead of thinking about your ex. He'll still be there, don't worry, but you can minimize the amount of time you give him if you stay active. You'll get through this. Everyone feels frustrated and had bad days (or weeks) while going through this. Just try and focus on positive things you're doing, and celebrate every milestone. Even if its realizing that you didn't cry over him once one day. Those add up!
Poppyolive Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Don't go on there, you're not ready. Its early days, it will take time. Just remember, each new sad thoughts & feelings of suffering are a new layer to break through. Different from the old.you're moving just fine.
Author hela Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Thanks guys. It's crazy how much reassurement helps. I feel like I need it all the damn time. I found the profile with a friend of mine. I was staying over at her house and she was trying to get my mind off of my ex by browsing on her POF account and talking about the boys on there. And I recognized the photo. I'm just tired. I've spent so much time thinking (against my will -- the thoughts almost come like waves, overcoming me and I can't hold them back) about us, about what he wrote to me just a few days ago. He apologized for treating me unfairly, told me that I can never know just how much I meant to him, how much he's learned from me and how much he enjoyed the adventures we had during our 6.5 years together. And then this. I hate this.
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