RenegadeMonster Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 For the first time in a few years I am in search of a girlfriend I am using Sites and apps like Tinder, OKC and POF for the first time ever. One of the things I have noticed is after first dates no girl has ever said "Hey, I had a good time but you're not my type" or "This isn't going to work". They just simply drop of the face of the earth and never respond to your texts. I have had this happen to me with 3 out of 5 girls over the last 2 months. And the other 2 girls definitely wanted to continue dating but were not my type at all and I could tell we would not be compatible so I had to let them know politely. But in the case of the other 3 girls, one I was definitely into and the other two were worth giving a second date a shot. We were texting pretty much every day for a week or so before the first date, and they seemed to have a good time on the date and one even said "I had a good time, we should do it again sometime". But after the first date I tried getting in touch with them 3 different times on 3 different days and never got any response from them. I'm not going to try anymore times either until they text me which so far they haven't. I have heard that Ignoring is easier for some girls then saying it isn't going to work whether they feel bad telling a guy that or it's just to hard for them. It just sucks being in limbo for the next week or two not knowing if you have a shot at a second date with the girl or not. Also, if a girl doesn't answer after 2 or 3 attempts of getting in touch with them is that the right time to stop trying to contact them altogether? Or should a guy try at least a couple more times? I'm just worried about giving up to soon because you don't know what is going on when you get no response the first week or so. I definitely haven't tried to make contact after 3 unanswered texts as I have seen girls post screenshots of texts from guys on Facebook, and after like only 6 answered text and comment "He clearly isn't taking the hint". Is ignoring a guy the new way of saying "you're not my type"? Any how many times should you try to contact or wait for a response from a girl before giving up?
Poppyolive Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Sadly, yes. That is why old sites are a pain!! I used to feel bad about not responding to messages, but ive been harassed many times. So, sometimes blocking & deleting is better. I've had guys trying to talk me out of not wanting to chat, meet, date. I'd much prefer open communication in regards to old. But somewhere along the line it's been tainted. Same goes for a lot of people. Do what's right & feels best for you. Don't take the it to heart. Take breaks here and there.
No_Go Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Usually: -we should do it again sometime = you'll never see me again (if sometime is replaced by specific time / time interval: they want to see you) Always: -three unanswered texts = no interest I wouldn't try even for third time. If your first text was a thank you note, a second one with a specific date suggestion is reasonable. If she doesn't respond, the change that she lost her phone is very slim... so you know the answer. For the first time in a few years I am in search of a girlfriend I am using Sites and apps like Tinder, OKC and POF for the first time ever. One of the things I have noticed is after first dates no girl has ever said "Hey, I had a good time but you're not my type" or "This isn't going to work". They just simply drop of the face of the earth and never respond to your texts. I have had this happen to me with 3 out of 5 girls over the last 2 months. And the other 2 girls definitely wanted to continue dating but were not my type at all and I could tell we would not be compatible so I had to let them know politely. But in the case of the other 3 girls, one I was definitely into and the other two were worth giving a second date a shot. We were texting pretty much every day for a week or so before the first date, and they seemed to have a good time on the date and one even said "I had a good time, we should do it again sometime". But after the first date I tried getting in touch with them 3 different times on 3 different days and never got any response from them. I'm not going to try anymore times either until they text me which so far they haven't. I have heard that Ignoring is easier for some girls then saying it isn't going to work whether they feel bad telling a guy that or it's just to hard for them. It just sucks being in limbo for the next week or two not knowing if you have a shot at a second date with the girl or not. Also, if a girl doesn't answer after 2 or 3 attempts of getting in touch with them is that the right time to stop trying to contact them altogether? Or should a guy try at least a couple more times? I'm just worried about giving up to soon because you don't know what is going on when you get no response the first week or so. I definitely haven't tried to make contact after 3 unanswered texts as I have seen girls post screenshots of texts from guys on Facebook, and after like only 6 answered text and comment "He clearly isn't taking the hint". Is ignoring a guy the new way of saying "you're not my type"? Any how many times should you try to contact or wait for a response from a girl before giving up?
Redhead14 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 For the first time in a few years I am in search of a girlfriend I am using Sites and apps like Tinder, OKC and POF for the first time ever. One of the things I have noticed is after first dates no girl has ever said "Hey, I had a good time but you're not my type" or "This isn't going to work". They just simply drop of the face of the earth and never respond to your texts. I have had this happen to me with 3 out of 5 girls over the last 2 months. And the other 2 girls definitely wanted to continue dating but were not my type at all and I could tell we would not be compatible so I had to let them know politely. But in the case of the other 3 girls, one I was definitely into and the other two were worth giving a second date a shot. We were texting pretty much every day for a week or so before the first date, and they seemed to have a good time on the date and one even said "I had a good time, we should do it again sometime". But after the first date I tried getting in touch with them 3 different times on 3 different days and never got any response from them. I'm not going to try anymore times either until they text me which so far they haven't. I have heard that Ignoring is easier for some girls then saying it isn't going to work whether they feel bad telling a guy that or it's just to hard for them. It just sucks being in limbo for the next week or two not knowing if you have a shot at a second date with the girl or not. Also, if a girl doesn't answer after 2 or 3 attempts of getting in touch with them is that the right time to stop trying to contact them altogether? Or should a guy try at least a couple more times? I'm just worried about giving up to soon because you don't know what is going on when you get no response the first week or so. I definitely haven't tried to make contact after 3 unanswered texts as I have seen girls post screenshots of texts from guys on Facebook, and after like only 6 answered text and comment "He clearly isn't taking the hint". Is ignoring a guy the new way of saying "you're not my type"? Any how many times should you try to contact or wait for a response from a girl before giving up? If you like her enough by the end of the first date, you schedule another date with her then and there. If she declines at that point but otherwise seems interested, you reach out to her once with another specific plan. If she doesn't respond by the next day at least, you move on. If you didn't set another date up after the first date, you call her with a specific plan for a second date. If she says yes, great. If she declines, so be it.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 No response is a response. Besides, her giving you a reason why she isn't interested, doesn't change the fact that she isn't. So why not just forget about it since it was only one date, and meet other women? Sometimes just relying on common sense is the best way to go about it. But one thing I would recommend is to stop doing so much texting with women you haven't even met yet. Acting like a texting buddy slowly kills attraction. It's better to use the phone to set dates and touch base once and awhile. Save more frequent communication for when you're in a relationship with a woman. 1
smackie9 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 People in general don't like to reject someone, so they either ignore you till you give up or say they are too busy, or say other things like "I'm dealing with family issues" "I just got out of a bad relationship" "My ex was a jerk or he cheated on me" "I have exams" "Work has been crazy" "Not ready for a relationship...." blah blah blah. Always go by their actions. If they are not flirting with you, or texting you about seeing you again, don't waste your time. You shouldn't have to work hard at it if they are interested in you. 2
Gary S Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 It's always been that way. You've been watching to much TV and movies, real life is not like that. They can't say "no" to your face because they don't know you and what your attitude is like, you might try to rip their head off. 4
Author RenegadeMonster Posted April 9, 2015 Author Posted April 9, 2015 It's always been that way. You've been watching to much TV and movies, real life is not like that. They can't say "no" to your face because they don't know you and what your attitude is like, you might try to rip their head off. I have actually never experienced ignoring before. In the past when I called a girl to follow up on a second date we planned after the first one she took about a day to call me back and just told me she has been doing some thinking and doesn't think we are romantically compatible but could be friends. Experiences like that are what I have had so far in my life. I haven't really relied on OLD before so I don't know if it's always been that way on OLD. But I have never experienced ignoring up until these last couple months.
deathandtaxes Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Par for the course. It's not limited to people from OLD though. It's just inherent in interpersonal relationships.
road Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 It's always been that way. You've been watching to much TV and movies, real life is not like that. They can't say "no" to your face because they don't know you and what your attitude is like, you might try to rip their head off. No it has not always been that way. Back in the day when a phone was just a phone. No caller ID, the bee-itches would have to pick up the phone and say hello. Then John would say how he wants to take her out. Then she would make the effort to let you down. If she could not handle that she would say that would be nice but then give an excuse why she could not go. John thinks she is good looking, had a good time enjoying her company. So no matter how lame the excuse was he tends to not realize it because he see's her as GF material. So John calls next week to ask her out again. Again no caller ID so Jane declines with another lame excuse. John has been striking out a lot. He may suspect Jane may not like him. Though he remembers how she appeared to of been very happy on their 1st date. So he thinks he is being paranoid after all she had a good time, why would she lie and be making up excuses. So John tries a 3rd phone call the week after. This time Jane is smart and does not answer the phone and tells her mom if John calls tell him I am not home. If she is not smart and picks up the phone she tells John I can't go out for awhile. Or a variation of don't call me I'll call you in a cold abrupt call using minimum words. John hangs up and realizes that looking back those excuses were kind of lame. I should of picked up on that. Not to far in the future John repeats the cycle with a new girl. Today girls have lost the art of being gracious while simultaneously telling the John to get lost. That and technology allows them avoid men by just not responding. 1
Gary S Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 ^^^^nope. They would screen their calls and let you pour your heart out to their answering machine! You just have to learn to look for signs, red flags.... learn to read women like a poker player. Always remember, actions scream. 1
Omei Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 (edited) If im not feeling it ill straight up say thanks but I dont see anything between us, all the best. A lot of people are just total cowards and too many people in this day and age don't give two hoots about each other, imo its the very least you can do. Ive even had friendships end this way after long periods of time, again honestly most people are just cowards when it comes too this type of thing they're too afraid of how the other person might feel and too afraid to confront it. Edited April 10, 2015 by Omei 1
emva07 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 yeah...I guess in a world where communication is becoming less relevant, it is the easy way out. on the flip side, i've heard some super crazy stories of people going psycho when being told they're not the person's type so I can understand why people avoid it. Still rude though.
EgoJoe Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 (edited) Dude, give up after the first attempt. When you try again they don't bother getting back to you because they know you'll get back to them. Also, in OLD initial text is ok but then you get the number, call and set a date. Then it's radio silence until a few hours before the date. "Looking forward to tonight, see you at eight sharp! I'll be wearing a red shirt blah blah blah." If coffee goes well, invite her to dinner right then and there. If it doesn't say goodbye first. Reflect on your night and decide whether she's worth your time. Vagina and smooth skin are requirements not the qualifier. Be more selective, more aloof; don't play games but don't be the 75% effort guy always. Go from 60% to 40% and see if they compensate after that. A girl who likes you will be stoked to go from coffee to dinner. She'll text you first after not hearing from you for a few days. Edited April 10, 2015 by EgoJoe
road Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 (edited) ^^^^nope. They would screen their calls and let you pour your heart out to their answering machine! You just have to learn to look for signs, red flags.... learn to read women like a poker player. Always remember, actions scream. You must be under 18, wet behind the ears as well. For back in the day when a phone was just a phone no caller ID, there was no digital answer machines built into the phone. Damn, there were no answering machines. The first answering machines used cassette tapes, used by businesses. Hardly anyone used them in their home when they first came out. Edited April 10, 2015 by road
smackie9 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 In the old days before answering machines, I had my mom screen my calls.....
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