katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Profile pic should suffice. ^^Absolutely... she isn't auditioning for a modeling contract for heaven's sake. If he wants to see more of you, suggest you meet in person. 1
Mrin Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) I think you are being too hasty. Though asking for a pic in the first text exchange is a little quick IMHO. So let's drop all the drama and look at this logically. Plausible reasons he could be asking for a pic: 1. He's been duped before on OLD and is just vetting you to make sure you're not Mis-representing yourself. Right Action: send a pic and ask him for one 2. You have bad photos on your profile. He just wanted to get to know you better. Right Action: send a pic 3. He is a creeper and is going to hit you up for sexy pics. Right Action: send a pic. Why? Because if he's a creeper he will ask for a sexy pic and then you can next him with 100% confidence instead of coming on here and wondering if you did the right thing. 4. He's testing you to see if you are actually serious about connecting with men via OLD or whether you are just trolling for attention. Right Action: send a pic So, as you can see, the right move in all scenarios (nefarious or not) is to send the pic and maybe ask for one in return. I've never asked for a pic early - only when we started dating and I just wanted a pic of her in that moment as a way of connecting. But a decent number of women have asked me for a pic and I've gladly snapped one and sent it. Edited April 9, 2015 by Mrin 1
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 It works both ways here. OP is overly sensitive because most men that ask her pictures end up wanting sexy pictures. Her contact wants pictures by text because he probably met a bunch of women that were much fatter in real than in their online pictures. Both parties have to be flexible. OP wants this guy to understand that his request for more pictures comes across as sleazy but she won't understand in return that he's probably been fooled with looks before. So what if he has previously met women who are fat? Lol. It's 15 minures of his time, big freaking deal. If he is that leary about it, then maybe he shouldn't be OLD at all. Not to mention, sure she could send him more pics, but *those* pics could be old and/or fake too! How would he know? Again, just meet in person, it's 15 minutes. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 If I feel a Girl's pictures on the OLD site are satisfactory, I won't ask for a picture. Had one Girl I was chatting with who only had ONE picture though, and it made it hard to distinguish her body type. I did ask her a picture and she told me one is all I get, so I nexted her. If you don't have good photos, or photos without a full body shot, be prepared to get asked for more pics. Also your main pic should distinguish CLEARLY who you are, and any subsequent group photos should say "I'm 2nd from right", etc. 1
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I dont' think he's wrong in wanting a picture... people notoriously post pictures of themselves that are 10+ years old and there is nothing for him to assume that you're not one of those people--he doesn't know you. You don't sound as if you're ready to be on OLD... it's not unreasonable to exchange pictures. As long as you do, you're going to be wasting all your time nexting prospects. Again, her additional pics could be 10 years old as well. Not getting the rationale here.
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Again, her additional pics could be 10 years old as well. Not getting the rationale here. To add - pics can be photo-shopped too. When I did OLD, I never trusted the pics. Some people are extremely photogenic, and end up looking nothing like them I real life. Even when the pics were recent... I used the pics to get a certain sense of the person. If I got a good vibe from the profile shots, then meet in person and see them in real life...and gauge the chemistry.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I will add - I think it's polite to assume the other person's pictures are real/accurate. However if they don't represent the person accurately (playing the angles/no body shot) then it is acceptable to ask for photos. Ladies - trying to hide your weight/body type in your photos is really deceptive. Please don't do it. 2
elaine567 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 1. He's been duped before on OLD and is just vetting you to make sure you're not Mis-representing yourself. Right Action: send a pic and ask him for one 2. You have bad photos on your profile. He just wanted to get to know you better. Right Action: send a pic 3. He is a creeper and is going to hit you up for sexy pics. Right Action: send a pic. Why? Because if he's a creeper he will ask for a sexy pic and then you can next him with 100% confidence instead of coming on here and wondering if you did the right thing. 4. He's testing you to see if you are actually serious about connecting with men via OLD or whether you are just trolling for attention. Right Action: send a pic This ^^^ pretty much sums it up. But no-one needs to feel pressurised into sending pics, if you do not want people having your pics, then do not send them or suggest just meeting IRL. Some gorgeous looking people look terrible in pics and some people look better in pics than IRL anyway.
Gary S Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 You can send as many pics as you want, but you won't really know if you are attracted until you meet. But you really don't need anymore pics, you have them on the profile. But I would not cut contact with a guy just because he sent a pic. Maybe he'll call you for a date. Don't be too hasty. By the way, watch out for those nakey pics some guys like to send. It's hard to find a gentleman in this day and age. 1
Timshel Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I have never done OLD so I don't have even one selfie. I did have my FB pics jacked by a friend of a friend and it ended up getting scary. I deactivated my FB account and now would hesitate to send any pic before a few phone conversations in order to determine if it's even worth the trouble. Yet OP is on OLD so I guess pics up front are the name of the game. Trust your own readiness and comfort. It's probably harmless but why take a chance if you don't feel comfortable?
Gaeta Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 So what if he has previously met women who are fat? Lol. It's 15 minures of his time, big freaking deal. If he is that leary about it, then maybe he shouldn't be OLD at all. Not to mention, sure she could send him more pics, but *those* pics could be old and/or fake too! How would he know? Again, just meet in person, it's 15 minutes. I agree it's about meeting and not endless pictures exchange. First you give your phone number to a guy when it's time to set up a meeting not to get acquainted. BUT that being said, I think OP is way too strict and should loosen up a little. This process is suppose to be fun! She could send him a silly picture and laugh about it and detour the conversation on something else. She could also tell him 'about you come and see the original'? She could handle this in 100s of ways that is fun and bubbly, not judgmental and abrasive. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I have never done OLD so I don't have even one selfie. I did have my FB pics jacked by a friend of a friend and it ended up getting scary. I deactivated my FB account and now would hesitate to send any pic before a few phone conversations in order to determine if it's even worth the trouble. Yet OP is on OLD so I guess pics up front are the name of the game. Trust your own readiness and comfort. It's probably harmless but why take a chance if you don't feel comfortable? What do you mean "your FB pics got jacked"? Anyone can download a photo on Facebook you know? Don't upload anything you don't want people to save.
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I agree it's about meeting and not endless pictures exchange. First you give your phone number to a guy when it's time to set up a meeting not to get acquainted. BUT that being said, I think OP is way too strict and should loosen up a little. This process is suppose to be fun! She could send him a silly picture and laugh about it and detour the conversation on something else. She could also tell him 'about you come and see the original'? She could handle this in 100s of ways that is fun and bubbly, not judgmental and abrasive. I agree...but it's difficult to argue with *feelings.* She's had negative experiences with men asking for more pics, as it always resulted in them wanting *sexy* pics. So now when it happens, it's a turn off, a dealbreaker of sorts. We all have our dealbreakers. May not make sense to others, but they are *her* dealbreakers and she is entitled. Plus, I hardly think it's gonna limit her opps too much. I mean, how many men actually require more pics before meeting in person? I never had a man ask for more pics when I did OLD.
Timshel Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 What do you mean "your FB pics got jacked"? Anyone can download a photo on Facebook you know? Don't upload anything you don't want people to save. Thanks barcode88! Duly noted.
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? This guy has been charged, tried and sent to prison just for asking for one selfie. Geez Louise. And this is coming from a woman whose witnessed and personally experienced all sorts of liars and scum online! At some point you need to understand that one or two bad experiences does not mean EVERYONE has a shady agenda. You NEED to have more of a sense of humor if you're going to remain online. For all you know he might have been a really great guy. Unfortunately, you'll never get the chance to find out. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) I went back on OLD and I exchanged numbers with this guy. He texted me this morning with his picture and is requesting me to send him a pic. I decided to next him. I just think sending pics is junior high. He already saw my pics on my profile! What else does he want??? I ALWAYS get a woman to send a recent full body pic of herself that's not on her profile. A lot of times, women post old photos or photos that have weird angles that focus more on their face but hide their body, etc.. I'm very clear on my preferences on my profile. So I've had women contact me knowing what I'm looking for, and then re-confirm they're in shape and love to workout over the phone. Then when I meet them in person, they're at least 100lbs over weight. Now I know there are probably nice guys with no balls that would still go through with the date. But I walked up to all of them and said "I don't like being lied to, or having my time wasted. So I'm going to go." and I walked out on them. The way I see it is that a woman who intentionally lies to me and tries to deceive me doesn't deserve even a minute of my time. The fact that you're so reluctant to send a recent pic that's not on your profile would give me pause to be honest. I'd immediately start to wonder if you were mis-representing yourself. Women that are on the level with nothing to hide, have no problem sending a picture. Edited April 9, 2015 by fitnessfan365 2
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I ALWAYS get a woman to send a recent full body pic of herself that's not on her profile. A lot of times, women post old photos or photos that have weird angles that focus more on their face but hide their body, etc.. I'm very clear on my preferences on my profile. So I've had women contact me knowing what I'm looking for, and then re-confirm they're in shape and love to workout over the phone. Then when I meet them in person, they're at least 100lbs over weight. Now I know there are probably nice guys with no balls that would still go through with the date. But I walked up to all of them and said "I don't like being lied to, or having my time wasted. So I'm going to go." and I walked out on them. The way I see it is that a woman who intentionally lies to me and tries to deceive me doesn't deserve even a minute of my time. The fact that you're so reluctant to send a recent pic that's not on your profile would give me pause to be honest. I'd immediately start to wonder if you were mis-representing yourself. Women that are on the level with nothing to hide, have no problem sending a picture. Fabulous! You are BOTH mutually turned off then and just saved yourselves a lot of time. :bunny:
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Fabulous! You are BOTH mutually turned off then and just saved yourselves a lot of time. :bunny: Exactly. Since I don't lead people on (like they attempted to do), I won't pretend and sit there to be nice. Now some people may say that she might have a great personality, that I should give her a chance, etc.. However, I look at a woman's actions. If she intentionally deceived me knowing what I wanted going in on my profile and the phone, she has NO INTEGRITY. 1
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Exactly. Since I don't lead people on (like they attempted to do), I won't pretend and sit there to be nice. Now some people may say that she might have a great personality, that I should give her a chance, etc.. However, I look at a woman's actions. If she intentionally deceived me knowing what I wanted going in on my profile and the phone, she has NO INTEGRITY. Lol, I was talking about you and the OP...or any woman like the OP ...who gets turned off when a man requires additional pics... other than those in her profile. SHE gets turned off when you insist on more pics, and YOU get turned off when she refuses to send! Awesome...you both just "nexted" each other without having to hurt or disappoint the other person. We all have our dealbreakers! 1
Gary S Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Lol, I was talking about you and the OP...or any woman like the OP ...who gets turned off when a man requires additional pics... other than those in her profile. SHE gets turned off when you insist on more pics, and YOU get turned off when she refuses to send! Awesome...you both just "nexted" each other without having to hurt or disappoint the other person. We all have our dealbreakers! - I have to agree with Katie on this one.... I appreciate fitnessfan for wanting to be efficient, efficiency in dating is important, to a point... but demanding an additional pic on the phone is making dating more complicated, is more hoops to jump through, and comes across as too rigid. If somebody asked me for a pic on the phone before meeting, they would get dead air from me. Hot headed people are not a good catch.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Lol, I was talking about you and the OP...or any woman like the OP ...who gets turned off when a man requires additional pics... other than those in her profile. SHE gets turned off when you insist on more pics, and YOU get turned off when she refuses to send! Awesome...you both just "nexted" each other without having to hurt or disappoint the other person. We all have our dealbreakers! Hahahahaha.. That's awesome. Definitely speeds up the process huh? However, in my experience, the only women that refuse to send pics are the ones with something to hide. There was this one woman where she refused to send a pic but kept pushing to meet me in person. So I say "Look, I'm not going to meet unless you send a pic first. " So she finally relented and this woman who claimed to be "a few extra lbs" on her profile was easily 350 plus. I'm talking massively HUGE to the point where she'd get winded walking from the car. I was honest with her and said that due to my active lifestyle and love of fitness, we wouldn't be a good fit. She said "But we were starting to connect and wouldn't my personality in person get you to overlook my weight?" I simply said "I only date women that are confident in who they are and honest. Not ones that sneak attack". That was the end of it after that.
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 - I have to agree with Katie on this one.... I appreciate fitnessfan for wanting to be efficient, efficiency in dating is important, to a point... but demanding an additional pic on the phone is making dating more complicated, is more hoops to jump through, and comes across as too rigid. If somebody asked me for a pic on the phone before meeting, they would get dead air from me. Hot headed people are not a good catch. ^^Amen to that. Nor are demanding people a good catch. Or people for whom it's *their* way or the highway. Rigidity in any form is a turn off. Flexibility is the way to go.... 1
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Hahahahaha.. That's awesome. Definitely speeds up the process huh? However, in my experience, the only women that refuse to send pics are the ones with something to hide. There was this one woman where she refused to send a pic but kept pushing to meet me in person. So I say "Look, I'm not going to meet unless you send a pic first. " So she finally relented and this woman who claimed to be "a few extra lbs" on her profile was easily 350 plus. I'm talking massively HUGE to the point where she'd get winded walking from the car. I was honest with her and said that due to my active lifestyle and love of fitness, we wouldn't be a good fit. She said "But we were starting to connect and wouldn't my personality in person get you to overlook my weight?" I simply said "I only date women that are confident in who they are and honest. Not ones that sneak attack". That was the end of it after that. ".. the only women that refuse to send pics are the ones with something to hide..." And according to the OP, the only men who require additional pics, are men who are seeking "sexy" pics...and probably have no intention of ever meeting. I rest my case. 1
katiegrl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 ff, the scenario presented in your last post (re the woman who refused to send a pic) is completely different and irrelevant. The OP *already* has pics posted on her profile. So he already knows what she looks like. If he wants to see more, he needs to meet her in person, NOT ask for more pics! Those pics could be old or photoshopped too...if that's what he is worried about. Just meet in person! It's 15 minutes... sheesh!
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 ".. the only women that refuse to send pics are the ones with something to hide..." And according to the OP, the only men who require additional pics, are men who are seeking "sexy" pics...and probably have no intention of ever meeting. I rest my case. Haha.. It's one thing if a guy requests naked pics. But I always stress that I want to see one recent fully clothed full body pic just so she can verify that she is in shape. If she refuses to send it, I don't meet with her.
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