fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) Wow.. just wow. That actually makes me feel sick. Obliges like a good "girl"? Yeah, i dont want to be used for sex, hence suspicious of men who force their way into my home and try to have sex with me when I'm not ready. What's so wrong with a woman saying (outside her own home) after a make out session "want to come inside? ;)" Then again, I'm a grown woman, not a "good girl" who needs to be told what to do. Once again, you're not understanding how I handle myself. 1) I'm a gentleman first and foremost and never force a woman to do anything. If she makes it clear she isn't ready or puts the breaks on, I respect that. That's why I told the OP that it was a good thing he listened to her when she said not to walk her to her door. 2) I don't have sex on dates 1-3. At first, all the dates are in public with us meeting there and then me picking her up and dropping her off. Then when the dates go private, I won't go past third base. Get to know her body, seduce her on a longer term basis, etc.. Plus, I actually want to know if I like the woman as a person before I have full on sex with her. It usually takes at least a month until we have sex for the first time. So with that said, a woman is going to have trust developed and be completely ready to have sex for the first time when I finally suggest it. I wouldn't have a woman on her porch pushing for sex on the first few dates like you're imagining. Since a woman knows that I set the pace sexually, and develops a sexual submissive mindset, she'd like me gently leading. Now you're definitely entitled to your opinions and if you're extremely independent, overly progressive, and a feminist that's cool. But I'd know within a few emails online that we weren't a good fit and would never ask you out in the first place. Edited April 9, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1
Gary S Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Fitnessfan, while I think the man is usually the pursuer in the beginning of dating, I think your approach to sex is a little controlling. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Fitnessfan, while I think the man is usually the pursuer in the beginning of dating, I think your approach to sex is a little controlling. Haha.. Women have been teasing men sexually and setting the pace since the beginning of time. What do most guys do? They chase after her, and then rush into sex within the first 2-3 dates. Then after that, it's pretty much him pursuing and her determining when sex happens. However, if you have the will power to flip the script and are able to seduce a woman with will power, she's the one that is ultimately begging for sex. Plus as I said before, sex gets in the way of getting to know a woman objectionably. I don't want my thought process to be clouded by thoughts of good sex and nothing else. So by the time we do have sex, not only is she out of her mind with desire, but I genuinely like her as a person. If you see that as controlling, that's cool. But I just see it as being patient, selective, and seducing a woman on a longer term basis. 1
Gary S Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 To get a woman to pursue a man sexually, all you have to do is go with women who love you more. It does not matter who asks who to the bedroom first. It's simpler than you are making it out to be. You playing hard to get on the sex front can help, playing hard to get doubles love level. But make no mistake.... it's not the mechanics of what you are doing, it's the result, it's the love she feels. What you are doing can be achieved in many ways, not just manipulating sex. I do agree that it's better to have sex later rather than sooner. I'm the one who says that religious people waiting until marriage is within the bounds of a happy and healthy relationship, and is a viable option for some people. But sex on date three is average. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) To get a woman to pursue a man sexually, all you have to do is go with women who love you more. It does not matter who asks who to the bedroom first. It's simpler than you are making it out to be. You playing hard to get on the sex front can help, playing hard to get doubles love level. But make no mistake.... it's not the mechanics of what you are doing, it's the result, it's the love she feels. What you are doing can be achieved in many ways, not just manipulating sex. I do agree that it's better to have sex later rather than sooner. I'm the one who says that religious people waiting until marriage is within the bounds of a happy and healthy relationship, and is a viable option for some people. But sex on date three is average. Fair enough. But if you invest time in getting to know her body and what she likes, the sex will always be good. I'm often reminded of the movie "About Time" where the main character messes up the first time having sex with Rachel McAdams' character. So he uses his ability to travel in time to go back and re-do it. Afterwards when she's completely satisfied she says "Good job. So many guys blunder the first time". So I'd rather wait and really get to know what she likes mentally and physically. That way the first time is amazing for her and from then on out, she just wants it to happen again and again and again, etc.. That's exactly what happened with my GF. Not only did I take the time to build true desire in her, but I got to know her body so well, that it just clicked for her. Edited April 9, 2015 by fitnessfan365
guest569 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Use of the words "submissive" and "oblige" for first time sex (or basically anything other than a BDSM scenario) disgust me and sound creepy, sexist and yes, controlling. I'm happy for men to make the first move, as most have in my personal experience, i just find your language alarming.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Use of the words "submissive" and "oblige" for first time sex (or basically anything other than a BDSM scenario) disgust me and sound creepy, sexist and yes, controlling. I'm happy for men to make the first move, as most have in my personal experience, i just find your language alarming. The Dom/sub dynamic doesn't have to include BDSM. As I said, you're entitled to your beliefs and I haven't looked down on you once. But you continue to be judgmental of me. So let's just agree to disagree and move on already. Not everyone has to agree or share the same viewpoint.
guest569 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I realise that but when someone is basically patronising "we are going to have sex now. oblige like a good boy will you?" What is that? Not rapey at all.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) I realise that but when someone is basically patronising "we are going to have sex now. oblige like a good boy will you?" What is that? Not rapey at all. Once again, you're in the mindset of a guy trying to have sex with you within the first few dates. Not a guy that has taken you on many public dates and spent time on foreplay only to build desire, learn your body, and develop trust. This is a guy you've been longing to have sex with and when he finally says he wants to take it somewhere more private, you're excited to do it. That's why I still say you just don't get how I handle myself and what I'm about. The whole reason why she has that sexual submissive mindset is because she trusts me based on the dynamic that I've built up. Unlike some guy that's a stranger who's basically pushing for sex after a few dates. WHOLE different dynamic entirely. Edited April 9, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Justanaverageguy Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I can see two sides here. FF - like smiley said I really don't like some of the language you use frequently. Alpha/Beta, Submissive/Dominant. Good girl. A lot of it comes off like a lame PUA trying to manipulate people into bed. With that said - I normally agree with most of the underlying themes of what you are saying. I totally agree regarding the waiting for sex. I do the same though maybe not quite as long - depends on the girl and the situation. It is about getting to know the person, getting comfortable and building desire. This is important if you actually like the girl and want it to last more then a few weeks. Sex has become so easy these days that the "courting" period has gone completely out the window .... people don't realize how essential that part is to form lasting relationships. Also I totally agree with switching the power dynamic away from women always being the "chooser" and the one who decides when and where sex happens. The most powerful thing that affects the way some one will treat you - is the way you act. If you take up the position of the "chaser" then the women has no option but to essentially become the "chooser". That's the role you have chosen to play so she has to play hers and that often includes playing hard to get. With early dates I like to be assertive and make physical contact with a girl with touching, kissing, flirting etc .... but deliberately hold back from sex and take it off the table. I like a girl to know that I am confident enough to go there but don't want to yet. The last girl I dated - on our second date we went to a bar had a few drinks and were out late. I walked her home and we kissed for a while outside her apartment and then I said good night and went on my way. She grabbed me as I was leaving and asked me to come up .... I said we would get to that but I really liked her so I wanted to wait and we should catch up again on the weekeend. She literally had me by the arm trying to force me to come in to her apartment for sex. We had a tug of war for about 2mins. You really don't realize how powerful taking sex off the table can be with a woman to build desire and attraction. It is the complete opposite of what normal happens with most men who are trying to force and push the pace to get a girl to bed as quickly as possible. When you can't have something - you want it more. Powerful law of attraction.
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