Thatgirl88 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 I've just gotten out of a relationship. It was a very unhealthy relationship and the break up was really bad. We just now stopped messaging each other. (It's been a week.) We broke up a little over two months ago. I feel like it's going to take me a while to love again. I don't want to go on dates only to string guys along because of my damaged emotions. But, I want to get back out there and see how I'll feel. I went on two dates with two different guys about a month after the breakup. It was fun but I couldn't get into it. How long after a breakup does it usually take to feel ready again? I WANT to be ready but I am not just yet. This was my first heartbreak and I was devastated. I feel a lot better now and my head is clear, but I feel like there are still some things within that I need to work out. Is it healthy to start dating now or should I wait a while?
Gary S Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Believe it or not, it's good therapy to date, even if you don't feel like it. It will take your mind off the breakup and ease the pain. Keeping yourself busy with work and play will help too, but yes, date. Time is the great healer, you'll get over this guy.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 You should wait a minimum of at least 6 months before you start dating again - anything LESS than that will be a REBOUND for any guy that you date; and that's not fair to them, or to YOU. And also, you should most definitely employ the NC (No Contact) Rule for the ENTIRE 6 months *before* you start dating again. You don't need your ex-BF's texts to f*** with your head whilst you're trying to heal your heart and your mind so that you can foray into the dating world again. Use these next 6 months to heal yourself - spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Spend time with family and loved ones who CARE about you. Immerse yourself in hobbies and activities that you enjoy. Don't pressure yourself to join any groups or to be sociable just yet - it's too soon. You'll know and will FEEL when it's the right time for you to join in group activities or clubs and when it'll feel comfy for you to be sociable again. .
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Believe it or not, it's good therapy to date, even if you don't feel like it. It will take your mind off the breakup and ease the pain. Keeping yourself busy with work and play will help too, but yes, date. Time is the great healer, you'll get over this guy. OP *just* got out of a relationship. Do you really think it's wise of her to start dating again? Any guy she goes out with now will only just be a rebound! How will that be 'healing' for her emotions or spirit? How will her dating now be in any way fair to ANY guy who thinks she's ready to date when clearly she's not? She has only stopped contacting her ex-BF for a WEEK. I normally agree with your posts Gary, but I respectfully will disagree with you on this. OP should take some time out to sort out her feelings and allow herself time to grieve and get over the break up *before* she starts dating other guys again. . 1
Mrin Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Only you can really answer that question. It also depends on what you want out of that dating experience. If it is just to have a good time and meet some new people - that's one thing. Having a relationship - that's entirely another. Just be on the up and up with everyone. One last thing - when you think you are ready for a real relationship - tack on another month. That's usually how it goes.
neowulf Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 OP *just* got out of a relationship. Do you really think it's wise of her to start dating again? Any guy she goes out with now will only just be a rebound! How will that be 'healing' for her emotions or spirit? How will her dating now be in any way fair to ANY guy who thinks she's ready to date when clearly she's not? She has only stopped contacting her ex-BF for a WEEK. I normally agree with your posts Gary, but I respectfully will disagree with you on this. OP should take some time out to sort out her feelings and allow herself time to grieve and get over the break up *before* she starts dating other guys again. . Yeah have to agree with this one. Turning other people into emotional punching bags to help you get over your own pain is just poor form. It's unfair to them and ultimately robs you of valuable time processing your own pain. Running from relationship to relationship never works. You need to spend time reflecting on what went wrong and how you're going to improve the situation next time.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Believe it or not, it's good therapy to date, even if you don't feel like it. It will take your mind off the breakup and ease the pain. Keeping yourself busy with work and play will help too, but yes, date. Time is the great healer, you'll get over this guy. Works for guys, dunno about for the ladies.
Gary S Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) OP *just* got out of a relationship. Do you really think it's wise of her to start dating again? Any guy she goes out with now will only just be a rebound! How will that be 'healing' for her emotions or spirit? How will her dating now be in any way fair to ANY guy who thinks she's ready to date when clearly she's not? She has only stopped contacting her ex-BF for a WEEK. I normally agree with your posts Gary, but I respectfully will disagree with you on this. OP should take some time out to sort out her feelings and allow herself time to grieve and get over the break up *before* she starts dating other guys again. . - ZombieGirl, Dating and relationships are a very controversial subject, as you know.... and so is this subject.... most will say the same thing you do. And I say some controversial things and am a controversial figure. Some people don't like me but most respect me. From the men she might meet on a date, from their perspective, you are right, it might not be the best for some of them, she probably won't be ready to fall in love again for awhile. If she wants to say how long their relationship was, I might be able to give her a rough estimate of when she will be ready. However, from her perspective, it is the best thing to do, and this post is about her, not the rest of the world. She has to be primarily concerned about herself, what's best for her. She's the best one for that job. There is nothing that will take her mind off the old flame like a new man. Let the buyer beware. Welcome to dating, the worlds biggest cat and mouse game. Additionally, she may meet other men on the rebound themselves, or separated men, and she also can make friends along the way. I'm not suggesting she get wild and crazy and have flings (I hope she can stop short of that)... although some women do that after a breakup, it's common, and I won't judge them for it. I also suggested she get busy with work and play, that will help also. Some people will do this and decide not to date. It's their choice. I don't tell people what to do, I just give them the options. If you want to know the truth, I don't like it either... and I did not make it this way.... but I have to speak the unbiased, unchained truth.... reality is reality, despite our wants and wishes. Don't shoot the messenger. Edited April 9, 2015 by Gary S
Bobbi7 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I think when you finally stop feeling depressed about the breakup and you're finally happy with yourself you can start dating. But don't mope for long. Gotta go out there and date, to take the pain away.
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