confusedguy888 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 My question is why would a woman tell me she has broken up with her boyfriend when it's not true? I'm confused out of my mind and can't make any sense of it. I'll try to give a little history between the 2 of us so maybe someone out there can help make sense of it for me. We are both in our late 30's, and we work together. I was instantly attracted to her the day she started working there. This was back in Jan 2014. A few weeks after she started working there she started asking me out for coffee/lunch and although I really liked her I always stayed away from work related relationships plus I was dealing with some stuff and knew I wasn't ready to get involved in anything. I would joke about it and always tell her one day we'll go or make an excuse as to why I couldn't go. Towards the end of March she asked me for my number and I gave it to her. I really like this woman and figured as long as I'm honest about things everything should work out. We started talking and eventually it came out that she is divorced and has children. I was honest with her and told her I know I'm not ready to be in a relationship that involves children at this point in my life. I told her I wouldn't be with her only to use her and back out if things got serious, I would never do that. She said she respected that. Over the next 6 months we still got along great at work even though we both knew we had feelings for each other. We would text daily and there would be some flirting when ever we crossed paths at work. Although I wasn't ready to be in a relationship I still cared deeply for her and she said as much about me. Told me she wasn't interested in dating anyone and that if I ever changed my mind she would love to see if there was the chance of anything happening between us. In sept. she needed some help around the house so I went over. I met her kids and she introduced me as a friend from work. It was a few days after that that I started thinking to myself I think I might be ready to give us a chance although I still had my doubts. Fast fwd to Nov. I told her that I would like to spend sometime with her outside work to see how things go, she said ok. We never did get the chance to get together. 2 weeks after that she basically cut me out of her life. Wouldn't return texts, only said she's dealing with some personal stuff. I eventually talked to her on the phone and she said she was taking some time off work. When I asked why she stopped contact with me she said she gave me a chance and that I judged her and she couldn't be with someone who couldn't accept her situation. It was obvious that she was seeing someone. I told her I didn't expect her to wait for me but I also don't think it was right to cut me off the way she did when the night before we talked and everything was fine. When she came back to work it was basically the cold shoulder. There was the odd good morning and the odd conversations when we were around others because we didn't want others knowing our business. Last month she started to put the wall down and we would have the odd conversation and things didn't seem as cold as they were. She knew the way I felt about her and that I still had felling and cared for her. It was on March 26 that we had a conversation and I told her if I ever had a second chance I would do things differently and that I still cared for her, but that I was happy that she found someone who made her happy. She said something along the lines of 'it's not like I'm married, never say never.' On March 30 we were walking together and I made a comment. As we walked away she said 'just so you know I broke up with him on Friday'. A few days later I went to talk to her. I told her the only reason I'm telling you what I'm going to tell you is because you said you broke up with your bf. She said after what that fn ahole did to me I want nothing to do with him. A few days later I learn that she is still with her bf and they haven't broken up and she is still with him to this day. Why would she go out of her way to tell me she broke up with him when she hasn't? At first I thought she told me so that I would know she was single again. Now I'm thinking they may be going through some rough patches and she's just messing with my head to make me think she's available so that I won't get involved with someone else. I'm so confused.
spiderowl Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Perhaps she's speaking out loud about her anger towards him for the way she feels he's treating her. It could be a very on/off relationship, literally on one day and off the next. It all sounds very volatile. I would think she'd want to keep you on board, because she knows you are interested in hanging around with her if not in a long-term relationship, but it doesn't sound like it's really over. She shouldn't lie, regardless.
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