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If you dated someone & found out they still live at home, would it be a turn off?

BlackOpsZombieGirl

By BlackOpsZombieGirl
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SearchingForMyself Established Member

SearchingForMyself

Posted
Posted

People have s tendency to end up with those of the same socioeconomic class.

 

The majority of LS women and men on here are middle class. By that logic,because of my current situation...I would not be able to date any of you...

 

 

But....I have gotten dates....nothing too serious. I stopped caring about status long ago. I just work every day in hopes of having my first place...from there I'll focus on getting my degree. I have different ciecumstances. Till then I accept I can not have a serious relationship.

 

And if I did, it wouldnt be with anyone who eidnt want me when I'm down.

  • Like 1
Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
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Depends on their circumstance. If theyve been travelling the world and onky just returned, most likely they will be living with fanily because whats the point of paying for a place if youre never there?

 

If hes a full grown man with a job, or if hes just full grown and living of his parents just because, then yeah I would be turned off. Independence is sexy in a man.

 

Of course there are always situations where he could be living at home, in which case again the answer would be it depends.

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted

The idea of kicking your kids out at 18 is primarily an American one. In other cultures its not uncommon for people to live at home until their late 20's and early 30's. And no it's not bums, I'm talking about doctors and engineers

Moy Established Member

Moy

Posted
Posted (edited)
The idea of kicking your kids out at 18 is primarily an American one. In other cultures its not uncommon for people to live at home until their late 20's and early 30's. And no it's not bums, I'm talking about doctors and engineers

 

In the UK house prices and rent costs are that ridiculous in comparison to wages, many are staying at home until their 30s now as they simply cannot afford to fly the nest. We now have what is known as 'the clipped wings' generation.

 

Research: The clipped wings generation - Shelter England

 

The ?clipped wing generation': A quarter of young working adults still live with their parents - Home News - UK - The Independent

 

Oh, and one last thing, the UK is very accomadating towards European migrants and has the added safety net of a welfare/benefits system - so it's very easy for Europeans to come to the UK and cast aspertions on others, isn't it? #justsayin

Edited by Moy
Moy Established Member

Moy

Posted
Posted (edited)
this always seems to be a deal breaker for women way more often than it is for men

 

Because it's harder to get the mother-in-law's house when executing the Divorce Plan after two years?

 

PS - The post above - accomodating! Yes, I know. Damn typos!!!!

Edited by Moy
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Josh1974 Member

Josh1974

Posted
Posted (edited)

Financial stability in 2014 is much easier said than done and if that is a deal breaker to some then I wonder about the shallowness of some people here. Not everything is in your control. I make 18/hr and I still find it hard to get by after car payments, rent, etc. The person I am seeing lives with her folks and works every single day. It doesn't bother me a single bit.

 

 

Some of you think a little too highly of yourselves.

 

 

In this new economy it shouldn't matter

 

 

This. I don't know how many of you are Gen X but I can tell you that if you are and have all that you want, good for you.

Edited by Josh1974
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Josh1974 Member

Josh1974

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Anything over 24 is unacceptable.

 

That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Xelha Member

Xelha

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When I met my bf he was living with his parents at age 28. Normally I guess it would have bothered me, since in my mind I tend to associate a man in his late 20's living at home as someone who is immature and not motivated in life. However, the current economic/labour crisis is really changing the way we live our lives.

 

At that time I was living on my own, yes, but at the same time I was barely scraping by financially, whereas my bf had a much better job and was in the process of saving money for his future. In a way, maybe his approach was more mature than my own.:p

 

A few months after dating we moved in together and I think my experience of being on my own plus his financial planning complemented each other really well, and everything turned out as I had hoped.

 

I suppose that if he hadn't wanted to leave his parents' house that would've bothered me, though, because I would feel as though he wasn't dependent enough for his age. My other bfs lived with their parents and in their cases in a lot of ways they had remained children/teenagers because their mothers still did so many things for them. My last bf, even in his mid 20s still had his mother nagging him to do his homework constantly and making him study schedules... it was a huge turn-off. I felt like his mother was slowly trying to get me to take over that job and be both a mother and a gf to him.

 

I'm okay with taking care of a guy(cooking for him, cleaning, etc) as long as I know he's also capable of doing those things himself. At my age I have no interest in dating someone who acts like a teenager.

Josh1974 Member

Josh1974

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It's funny how people are offended when opinions are shared on a thread that don't tie with theirs.

 

It is about values, we are different. Surely if you don't care that someone lives at home then you are easy going and good for you. Why get defensive?

 

Success isn't only measured in finances - though it is important part of it and you do need to be a home owner at some point for reasons of stability. But more to the point: being independent, curious and able are very attractive qualities in an adult. People experience setbacks in their lives, ups and downs. Those that are resilient and able to cope well on their own tend to fare better. Why is that a problem?

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Home owner? What freaking planet do you live on? Do you realize most people in my generation wouldn't even DARE to think about owning a home in this market? Do you know anything? Where is your house at, Fantasy Land?

 

 

Yes, I find that statement very offensive because it comes off as a snob trip. I make 30K a year and there is no possible way I could keep a house. I'm lucky I have the job I do, considering the enormous competition. I'm 50K in debt to student loans. I have car payments, child support, bills, etc.

 

 

Man this thread gets under my skin. The self-entitlement is astonishing.

  • Like 1
Moy Established Member

Moy

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HAHAHAHAHAHA! Home owner? What freaking planet do you live on? Do you realize most people in my generation wouldn't even DARE to think about owning a home in this market? Do you know anything? Where is your house at, Fantasy Land?

 

 

Yes, I find that statement very offensive because it comes off as a snob trip. I make 30K a year and there is no possible way I could keep a house. I'm lucky I have the job I do, considering the enormous competition. I'm 50K in debt to student loans. I have car payments, child support, bills, etc.

 

 

Man this thread gets under my skin. The self-entitlement is astonishing.

 

Not to mention that the person whom you are quoting openly admits to 'arriving in the UK with nothing more than a suitcase.' They have a cheek talking about 'independence' when they almost certainly would have received assistance from the British welfare system in order to find their footing. Not that there is anything wrong with that in itself, but to then sneer at others from an ivory tower - there is plenty wrong with that!

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clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted

It's not shallow or self entitled to expect an adult to be able to support themselves.

  • Like 2
Moy Established Member

Moy

Posted
Posted
It's not shallow or self entitled to expect an adult to be able to support themselves.

 

It is when you start sneering at people as 'losers' or a 'man-child' for falling on hard times.

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Home owner? What freaking planet do you live on? Do you realize most people in my generation wouldn't even DARE to think about owning a home in this market? Do you know anything? Where is your house at, Fantasy Land?

 

:mad: She said "at some point" don't you think you will own a home at some point in your own life??

 

Yes, I find that statement very offensive because it comes off as a snob trip. I make 30K a year and there is no possible way I could keep a house. I'm lucky I have the job I do, considering the enormous competition. I'm 50K in debt to student loans. I have car payments, child support, bills, etc.

 

 

Man this thread gets under my skin. The self-entitlement is astonishing.

Look I am sorry you are having so much trouble financially but you made all those choices that got you there right??? I don't have a house either and i have student loans, I think I will have a house someday though, I don't feel like it's ridiculous and I'm not offended by people who think it's an important signal of being mature and stable, we are just not there yet.

 

Can you please explain to me the "astonishing self entitlement" you find here?? I don't see why not dating a person who lives with their parents is "self entitled" ??:confused::confused:

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
It is when you start sneering at people as 'losers' or a 'man-child' for falling on hard times.

 

No it isn't. It's her opinion.

 

Who are you to try to force her to date a man who can't support himself?

Moy Established Member

Moy

Posted
Posted
No it isn't. It's her opinion.

 

Who are you to try to force her to date a man who can't support himself?

 

I'm not trying to force anybody to anything Hahahahahahaha - what an over-reaction.

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted
You don't respect me because I live at home, study podiatry full time and work part time in the field and still have time to volunteer with disadvantage children?

Yeh but you are almost 30 right and just started school and from your posts you have never lived on your own or been responsible for your own finances so no I would not date you sorry!!! Of course I don't date girls anyway! I don't disrespect you though I also don't think that is quite a respectable situation, sorry!!
Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
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No it isn't. It's her opinion.

 

Who are you to try to force her to date a man who can't support himself?

What is weird about this thread is that in the beginning there are alot of guys who say they wouldn't date a girl who lived with her parents and now it's all about how it's shallow and entitled to choose not to date a guy who lives with his parents??? Srsly there are plenty of people who don't care and also you can date people who also live with their parents, obviously they will be fine with it!! :bunny::bunny:
  • Like 1
clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
I'm not trying to force anybody to anything Hahahahahahaha - what an over-reaction.

 

I'm not overreacting to anything. You seem really upset about one poster's decision not to date a man who can't support himself. By that token, you must expect her to date those men, right? Or otherwise she's self entitled and shallow...:rolleyes:

 

And anyway, the vast majority of folks in this thread admitted they would consider the circumstances as to why the adult was living with mom and dad.

Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

Posted
Posted

I am 35 and lived on my own from 20 to 28. Since age 28 I have lived at home taking care of my parents one of whom is very ill and disabled. I also pay half the bills and half of the property taxes. A sister of mine who has special needs also lives with us.

 

Anyone who thinks taking of my family of birth makes me a looser is someone I would not want to date.

 

As a matter of fact that is a good filter for weeding out people who are not a good fit for me. I very much value compassion. Someone with the level of compassion I require would look at my circumstances and be able the empathize with me as I would with them.

BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

Posted
Posted
I mean, it wouldn't be for me depending on the circumstances. My sister lived at home while she was saving up for a deposit on a house. I lived at home when I went back to nursing school because I could only work part-time. I know a girl who moved in with her grandmother, so she wouldn't have to go to a nursing home. Those reasons are not the same as living at home to mooch off your parents or because you are lazy and don't want to be responsible.

 

I think you don't need to worry about it so much. Honestly, if you are so hung up on it, you are only drawing attention to it, and that's not attractive. Do you currently live with your parents?

 

Yes I do, the good news is I have the potential to move out now and live with 2 friends of mine and be roommates, there are pros and con's to it though, the pro's would be if I request an increase in hours at my current job, my paycheck would be enough to pitch in for the rent with my roommates, the con's would be my paycheck would not be enough to be completely financially stable, I would make enough to pitch in for the rent but not enough to pay all the rest of the bills on my own, cell phone, car insurance, medical bills, food and clothes, gas, and keeping myself entertained in life with certain hobbies, I would have to still rely on my parents for that.

Josh1974 Member

Josh1974

Posted
Posted
:mad: She said "at some point" don't you think you will own a home at some point in your own life??

 

 

OK, I want you to research the rates of today's homes. I want you to breakdown the financial risks of doing so. I'm perfectly content in my own apartment.

Josh1974 Member

Josh1974

Posted
Posted
It's not shallow or self entitled to expect an adult to be able to support themselves.

 

My godmother did just that working at the same job for 30 years until the company was bought out and she was laid off. At the age of 62, she is having a very hard time.

 

 

Maybe you should stop expecting so much.

Josh1974 Member

Josh1974

Posted
Posted

Look I am sorry you are having so much trouble financially but you made all those choices that got you there right???:confused:

 

 

Oh sure, everything that has happened in my life has been my choice.

 

 

I'm not having trouble, I'm just not rich or have the luxury of spending a lot.

 

 

You sound like a Republican.

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
My godmother did just that working at the same job for 30 years until the company was bought out and she was laid off. At the age of 62, she is having a very hard time.

 

Maybe you should stop expecting so much.

 

It's not expecting a lot to expect an adult to be able to support him or herself. If you think it is, then maybe you need to raise your expectations.

 

Your grandmother's situation is unfortunate, but surely she has some savings if she worked for the past 30 years to help her along until she can claim full social security (if you are in the US). Or she could start claiming it now if she's 62. Can't she can find a job somewhere else? A job is never guaranteed for life...so surely she planned ahead for a rainy day.

  • Like 1
Josh1974 Member

Josh1974

Posted
Posted
It's not expecting a lot to expect an adult to be able to support him or herself. If you think it is, then maybe you need to raise your expectations.

 

 

I gross $700 a week. After taxes, I net about $550.

 

 

Car payment is $320 a month. Insurance is $90 a month.

 

 

Rent is $800 a month.

 

 

My kid gets $100 a month.

 

 

Add in food, bills, etc.

 

 

But I should totally raise my expectations and not understand why people struggle and decide to live with their parents. I should totally own a house by now to satisfy the status quo of some posters here. Has it ever occurred to you and others that the U.S. lives on credit? Houses are on credit, cars are on credit, etc.

 

 

Nobody owns anything and the reality is, unless you're in the top percentile of people lucky enough to have been raised by the rich or have something handed to you, you're most likely screwed.

 

 

I will never judge anyone based on income. Probably because I live in reality.

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