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If you dated someone & found out they still live at home, would it be a turn off?

BlackOpsZombieGirl

By BlackOpsZombieGirl
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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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I am 24 (25 This year)

 

I am still live at home with my mum.

 

I Have never moved out. But would like to move out one day in the future but can't afford it at moment. We live only 5-10 mins walk from centre of town.

 

I do help at home pay bills etc and help out at home and do I do work 4 days a week

 

Would this be a turn off for girls??

 

It's good that you help out at home by paying bills and helping around the house. How far into the future are you planning to move out on your own? A year? A few years?

 

 

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veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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I'm almost 32. There is no way in HELL I would date a guy who was living at home! There are PLENTY of nice guys to date who are financially independent and not tied to mom & dads house for any reason.

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GTR King Established Member

GTR King

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I don't know how far yet...

 

When I feel ready and saved up would be like a few years as it expensive to move out...

 

But will move out one day....

Edited by GTR King
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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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I'm almost 32. There is no way in HELL I would date a guy who was living at home! There are PLENTY of nice guys to date who are financially independent and not tied to mom & dads house for any reason.

 

Not for ANY reason? Really?!:confused:

 

For your sake, I hope Karma never comes knocking at your door.

 

 

 

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jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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For people with unequivocal conditions like that, I wonder what they'd do if they found their soulmate and then discovered they lived at home. ;)

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Blade96 Established Member

Blade96

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I'm 36, f, and still live with parents (have a degree but no work that's why) If someone doesn't respect me or want to date me just because of that, I conclude they are stuffy and I don't want them, either.

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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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It also goes without saying that if a) you say there's no way you would date a loser who lives with their parents and b) you end up marrying somebody well-off and eventually quit your job and become a stay at home parent, socialite or end up doing what you really want to do, then c) your mate will turn into a gargoyle and bite your head off. :sick:

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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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For people with unequivocal conditions like that, I wonder what they'd do if they found their soulmate and then discovered they lived at home. ;)

 

People like that would probably DUMP their soulmate without batting an eye and then go and look for other nice guys to date who are financially independent, and so on, and so forth... (rinse and repeat):rolleyes:

 

 

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BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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It depends on the circumstances. When I went back to nursing school at age 27, I moved in with my parents. Nursing school doesn't offer a part time option, so I could only work part time. I had to go to school full time. My sister lived with my parents for several years after college to save money and buy a house. On the other hand, I have an aunt who never moved out. Never went away to college or anything. She can't even do her own laundry. She is severely dependent on my grandparents to the point that it is dysfunctional. She's very socially isolated by choice and has no friends.

Blade96 Established Member

Blade96

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My degree is bachelor of arts, (double major in history and russian language and literature) but I live in Newfoundland canada a small island with only 500,000 people (mostly english speaking) There is no real demand for people who know some Russian, and the history places are focused on Newfoundland and Canadian history, so they don't want someone whose study was in cold war and russian/soviet history. And I can't even get a job at a gas station just giving out gas because I'm "overqualified"

 

This is why I live at home with parents and my cat.

 

I can't get over the jerks here who would pass me up just because I live at home. I try to be the good person, good girl, and be as independent as i can, honestly my mom sometimes is too helicoptery and I have to ask her to back off a lot, I know she doesn't want me to eff up, but if I decide to buy something I end up not using, that is my eff up to make, dammit!

writergal Established Member

writergal

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In case the people who are "nay" against dating someone who lives at home, need a reminder, here is a list of 18 famous people who lived at HOME *ahem* who later became rich and famous.

 

 

18 Radically Successful People Who Lived With Their Parents | Mental Floss

 

 

I forgot to add, famous writer J.K. Rowling was on the dole when she wrote the Harry Potter series, living in a studio apt., writing the books long handed on legal paper. Yet now she's rich and famous.

 

 

Lots of people judging books by covers in this thread before they even read the book.

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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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My degree is bachelor of arts, (double major in history and russian language and literature) but I live in Newfoundland canada a small island with only 500,000 people (mostly english speaking) There is no real demand for people who know some Russian, and the history places are focused on Newfoundland and Canadian history, so they don't want someone whose study was in cold war and russian/soviet history. And I can't even get a job at a gas station just giving out gas because I'm "overqualified"

 

This is why I live at home with parents and my cat.

 

I can't get over the jerks here who would pass me up just because I live at home. I try to be the good person, good girl, and be as independent as i can, honestly my mom sometimes is too helicoptery and I have to ask her to back off a lot, I know she doesn't want me to eff up, but if I decide to buy something I end up not using, that is my eff up to make, dammit!

 

Um yeah...that's the DOWNSIDE to living at home. Your parents think - because you live under their roof - that they can "supervise" you and "advise" you on what to do with your life. That's one of the many reasons why I moved out after my 18th birthday, because even though I knew that they loved me and had my best interests at heart, they began to stifle my growth and learning processes. But I got lucky. If it wasn't for me sharing an apt with 2 roomies (one of which turned into my then bf) and working crazy hours as a cashier at a Shell gas station, I would've been stuck at home. After a year of that, I started college to earn my degree in Business Administration.

 

I busted my ass and spent many a day eating only cereal and mac-n-cheese for dinner...but at least I was on my own. There were many times that I wished I had stayed home when things got rough...but, looking back, I'm glad I stuck it out. I don't judge people who choose to live at home because each person has their own reasons for doing so, just like my ex-bf did. He did it responsibly; helped out his parents, paid his portion of the bills, cooked and cleaned, fixed things around the house, worked full-time and had a PLAN to move out once he saved $$ - that was when we both moved in together into a nice apartment.

 

In my opinion, those who are judgmental about people who live at home (barring those people who are lazy asses with NO plan) aren't people that many would want to date; let alone enter into a relationship with. EVERY person in life goes through certain circumstances beyond their control. Every one. No one is immune to this. Whether they can make it through that situation on their own or whether they have to live at home temporarily is THEIR choice to make. It doesn't make them "losers", "irresponsible" or "lazy" if they choose this option.

 

 

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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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My degree is bachelor of arts, (double major in history and russian language and literature) but I live in Newfoundland canada a small island with only 500,000 people (mostly english speaking) There is no real demand for people who know some Russian, and the history places are focused on Newfoundland and Canadian history, so they don't want someone whose study was in cold war and russian/soviet history. And I can't even get a job at a gas station just giving out gas because I'm "overqualified"

 

This is why I live at home with parents and my cat.

 

I can't get over the jerks here who would pass me up just because I live at home. I try to be the good person, good girl, and be as independent as i can, honestly my mom sometimes is too helicoptery and I have to ask her to back off a lot, I know she doesn't want me to eff up, but if I decide to buy something I end up not using, that is my eff up to make, dammit!

 

That's pretty much what dating is.

 

Dating is figuring out how awesome you are and rejecting people you think are less awesome than you, while desperately trying to rope in people you feel are more awesome than you.

 

I get that part.

 

I also somewhat get coming on here and listing all your dealbreakers and all the people you won't date.

 

What I cannot understand is coming on here if you have a BF/GF, husband/wife, and even kids and saying, "I won't date guys who live at home, or people without a college degree, or fat women."

 

That one I don't get.

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Maxtor Established Member

Maxtor

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So, a guy\girl that still lives at home and helps his\her parents is a turn off? Ok then.

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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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So, a guy\girl that still lives at home and helps his\her parents is a turn off? Ok then.

 

Yep, that seems to be the case for many posters on here.:rolleyes: But, there are also many other posters that consider each person's situation with regard to their circumstance(s).

 

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Gary S Established Member

Gary S

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I don't care if they live with their parents/family or not. If they are responsible individuals, who cares? Sometimes I think people are too hung up on status and power.

 

Do people really hate the Waltons that much :laugh:

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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*shrug*

 

Tried to better explain, apologized for offending people, still not enough for some people.

 

Whatever.

Being so easily offended and living at home goes hand in hand I think. It's like so many people think that growing up properly is too much hard work. smh

  • 4 weeks later...
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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this always seems to be a deal breaker for women way more often than it is for men, but for me it's not a deal breaker, well mainly because i'm not looking to get married or settle down yet

2011 Established Member

2011

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It would very much be a turn off to me because I value financial stability and independence. I would probably give them the usual vague don't think we're compatible or didn't feel a connection line.

 

Having said that my dad lived with his mum when he met my mum, and that worked out pretty good.

 

Exactly, don't be so judgemental about people's position in life, it doesn't mean they are not capable of being financially independent even if they still stay with their family. I rented accommodation for work a good few times and am back at my folks now, just because I'm not in any big rush to move, don't see any houses I want, and am saving up a big deposit.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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if a guy is just interested in casual dating, not looking to get married or settle down, is living with his parents still a deal breaker to most women?

E-Squared Established Member

E-Squared

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Well, I am in a situation where I live at home, but I am FAR from a leech as much as possible.

 

One thing I will say is that I have not left, but I have worked and I am currently in school trying to pursue goals, and truth be told, I didn't start becoming more serious about school until I was 26. I am almost 29 by the way.

 

I will say this: I remember I was rejected by a girl who found out that I was not self-sufficient a couple of years back. She is only five years younger than me. It wasn't just because I lived at home, but also because I don't own a car. I remember I was upset about all of that and went back to comparing myself to other people. At the time, I talked with a couple of female friends of mine about this. They both said that she kind of did me a favor because there is no way that I would want to date someone who doesn't approve of my situation.

 

Plus, it helps that I have a good relationship with my parents, so it isn't like they are waiting for me to leave and all that stuff. One girl who I have been talking to lately lives with her grandma. Another one still lives at home. So it isn't all too bad.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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if a guy is just interested in casual dating, not looking to get married or settle down, is living with his parents still a deal breaker to most women?

 

I mean, it wouldn't be for me depending on the circumstances. My sister lived at home while she was saving up for a deposit on a house. I lived at home when I went back to nursing school because I could only work part-time. I know a girl who moved in with her grandmother, so she wouldn't have to go to a nursing home. Those reasons are not the same as living at home to mooch off your parents or because you are lazy and don't want to be responsible.

 

I think you don't need to worry about it so much. Honestly, if you are so hung up on it, you are only drawing attention to it, and that's not attractive. Do you currently live with your parents?

almond Established Member

almond

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My family are immigrants, and in our culture, it is very normal and almost expected to live at home till you're married.

 

I don't look down upon it at all, and I actually think it's quite smart to live at home and save as much as you can for a while at least.

 

I judge based on an overall picture of the person as often as possible. Living at home isn't a deal breaker for me, but lacking independence and motivation most certainly is.

lemoncello Established Member

lemoncello

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I was watching an HGTV show today and the married couple wanted to fix up their home or list it, because they had 3 adult family members living with them and their 2 children (all the wife's family). So, I think living at home is normal for most cultures except for American culture. If you think about it, living with family members is economical because you all pay a portion of the mortgage.

SearchingForMyself Established Member

SearchingForMyself

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Women generally care about status and appearance. This is why I don't date serious.

 

BlacksOps...I respect you and you seem awesome, but you seem too hung up on appearance. You need to know why he's living there, instead of coming to the conclusion. That its a bad thing.

 

That's like saying every homeless person is lazy and unmotivated, or that all cops are racist. Figure out this guys story....then make a judgment.

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