xyz0123 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 (edited) Hey. I'm writing here, because I'm confused inside and I don't have any other place to seek for advice. Basically the problem is my ex (girlfriend of 3 years) broke up with me 15th of Feb this year (so romantic). Til around 25th of March I was chasing after her, but not only.. we had some chats that were like very light, not really about feelings or us etc. Then suddenly I decided to cut her off. It hurt too much to keep going like that. 2 days ago it was my birthday. Honestly I didn't expect anything from her.. I accepted the facts. But I got a message from her saying "I wanted to wish you happy birthday. I really hope you are okay and will have a good day". I haven't replied anything to it. I still wonder if it's the right thing to do.. I mean, it hurts a lot that she sent it.. and I've been applying no contact, so it would kind of be against me.. I know that I shouldn't imagine things, but basically the fact that she said that she hopes that I'm okay kind of ruined me the most. Especially that she broke up with me so suddenly.. there were no signs, no talks, no anything.. it came like a thunder. Edited April 8, 2015 by xyz0123
PegNosePete Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 This message is not about you in the slightest. It's all about her her her. As dumper she feels bad for hurting you, and her own conscience needs to know that you don't hate her. Because if you did hate her then she would be a terrible person for doing what she did to you. So you see being friendly to you is all about making herself feel better about what she did, and absolutely nothing to do with your feelings or helping you to move on. Continue to ignore her. 3
LoveIsMyReligion Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Leave it alone my friend. Keep working on yourself and no contact. You will 100% kick yourself if you respond, I can say that with confidence. I've been there, you got this man we are here for you.
ZiggyZoo Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Definitely ignore it, and block her number, at least for now, so you don't continue to get hurt by these BS breadcrumbs.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 PNP nailed it. 100% about her. 0% about you, wanting you back, etc... It is, in fact, a selfish move on her part. If she really did care about you, she would leave you alone so you could heal and move on. Mark our words, do NOT respond!!
Author xyz0123 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 (edited) Thank you. It's just messed up that she had to write it.. I mean.. Since the break up she hasn't really asked me how do I feel or how is my life and now suddenly she has to attach this "I hope you are okay" crap to birthday wishes.. She's confused herself. Last conversation (after that one I cut her off) I said things like I'm aware that she probably doesn't miss me at all and things like that. She said that it's not truth and that she misses me. But yeah.. I couldn't take it that way. I'm pretty sure that she will write something more at some point.. But I don't know how will I react. I'm not strong at all in this no contact thing and it's killing me, but I'm trying.. I will add that I wish like hell that we would be back together, because we had a connection many people can dream about.. but yes.. all the case is really confusing and she admitted that maybe she wanted to see if the grass is greener on the other side, but still.. don't want to be back together. Thanks for support guys. It's been 2 months and it's still really hard to distance myself to all this.. Edited April 8, 2015 by xyz0123
Light Breeze Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 NC is hard, very hard. Continue though, and it will get better. For now, focus on yourself.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 (edited) We all thought our relationships were unique snowflakes. Our love was like no one elses. A love for the ages. Truth is, although the details may be different, most RS's (and BU's) were more similar than not. She's dead to you now!! Edited April 8, 2015 by mtnbiker3000
Author xyz0123 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Posted April 9, 2015 Thanks guys, you're helping me a lot. I'll keep NC. Don't know what will happen next or after that thought.. It's all making me feel super stressed. I've been doing things for myself past 2 months.. Met some girls.. Done somethings I wanted to do.. But it just never feels right. I hope I could let go =/
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 You will be fine! That I promise you!! It just takes some time and fortitude from you...
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