Thatgirl88 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 I'll try to keep my story short. I just wanted to share my experience with others. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced. My ex of 8 months broke up with me at the end of January. It was sudden. He and I got into an argument and he "snapped". The man was head over heels in love with me just hours before. I was living with him, so I had to leave. He offered for me to stay, but I couldn't. He didn't want me. I wanted away from him. I went and stayed with a friend. We only talked through text about getting my things. He played nice, let me keep the key and I slowly got my things. About 2 weeks after the breakup, I got my own apartment. Then, the angry texts to each other started, the antagonistic Facebook comments, the angry phone call. He didn't want me back and although I wanted him back so badly, I lied and said I didn't. (Pride.) We were hot and cold with each other. It was a rollercoaster. I'd delete him from Facebook and then add him again. I probably did this a total of ten times in two months. Then, his mixed messages started. He'd say things that made me think he might still want me. But I would never ask him to explain. (Fear of rejection. ) I'd get drunk and post crazy things on Facebook. We messaged each other at least once per day. He did some of the initiation of conversation, but it was mostly me. (About 75/25) He would always reply though. The conversations were kept short. As the weeks went by, our occasional and very short conversations became more friendly. He He hinted for me to come to his house to get movies, but did it in a way that would make it seem like I wanted to come over. We got drunk, we had sex, and he told me that he loved me. When I asked him what it meant the next day, he said he had fun. End of story. The guy obviously didn't want me back, but he continued to give me many other mixed messages that made me hold on. I kept contact for a while. We had sex a second time. This time it seemed a little more emotional. I remember telling him that I knew he was manipulating and that I didn't care. Yeah. I said that. Pretty bad, huh? More mixed messages but I think most of the time he was just drunk. I continued to hold on to hope. He brought some of my furniture back four days ago. He invited me to go eat with him. I did and then I begged to go have drinks with him. He was very distant. He was nice but I couldn't see any sign of feelings for me on his face. He seemed a little sad but I think he was sad that I was so heartbroken. We never talked about the relationship other than right after. Only when we were angry. Through those two months, he would text or link me on Facebook about movies we watched or things we had talked about, but never any talk about reconciliation. I was tired of hurting. I didn't have the guts to tell him that I still wanted him (even though it was obvious. My actions screamed it.), and I didn't have the guts to ask about his mixed messages. My thoughts were that he would be trying harder if he wanted me. He broke up with ME. It isn't up to me to figure him out or to beg. Instead, I told him that I think we should block each other for good through phone and Facebook. No more texts and no more Facebook. Unless both of us unblock each other and one of us attempts to contact the other, there's no way we can talk. I should have done this two months ago. I was so dumb. I am so embarrassed. I felt so needy and hopeless. I'm glad the worst part of those feelings are gone and I finally realized that I don't need him. NEVER give someone mixed messages. Its so mean.
Diezel Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Stop taking those mixed messages. As soon as you found a place, you should have taken all your stuff and just deleted him from EVERYTHING and blocked him as well if you could. Don't place all of that on him. Take this as a lesson learned if it ever happens again. 1
stillafool Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Then, his mixed messages started. He'd say things that made me think he might still want me. But I would never ask him to explain. (Fear of rejection. ) I'd get drunk and post crazy things on Facebook. We messaged each other at least once per day. He did some of the initiation of conversation, but it was mostly me. (About 75/25) He would always reply though. The conversations were kept short. He really wasn't giving you mixed messages but had friendzoned you. You two had become FWBs. You should not have had sex with him until you found out where you stood. If you wanted the sex too then it is not a problem. I don't think he wants you back because from what you've written he had plenty of hints that you want him but he didn't bite. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 A couple of tips for your next relationship: 1. Don't live with somebody until you have dated them for at least a year. 2. When you break up with somebody delete & block all social media and don't look back. Your game playing of deleting him from FB & adding him back on was silly. 3. When somebody gives you mixed messages, believe the negative ones & assume the positive ones are lies. 4. Don't date liars. See # 3.
Wopwednesday Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Hey Thatgirl88, I'm sorry this douche was doing this to you. I can only imagine all those days and nights hurting thinking about the whole thing. Long story short, this guy is playing you left and right. Please disconnect from him for good. It will help you get over him. He shows no intention of getting back with you other than a drunken fling or for sex of any other noncommital (if thats a word) context. you sound like a great girl that a real mature guy would love to have as a partner. Focus on getting back on track emotionally and do your thing. Take care answer mine please that would be great http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/523590-i-ve-broken-up-gf-i-m-completely-depressed-alone-dejected
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