Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 you should've done this in the 1st place, without calling him and asking him to take the pictures down. i mean, it's his page - why should he remove the pictures? he can do whatever he wants, it's not even disrespectful to you or your new man. in fact, i think YOU are the one being disrespectful here because you basically want to act like you've never been with this man. who gives a f*ck about social networks pictures, anyway? folks close to you know who you're with and that's the only thing that matters, no? so yes - you overreacted. move on and stop paying attention to what your X is doing; he has every right to post whatever he wants and when he wants it, like it or not. I agree with this. OP you should just control what you can. If he has you tagged on any of the photos, just untag yourself. Otherwise they're his, and its kinda bitchy asking him to erase photos just because you happened to be in them. 1
minimariah Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 He affects me the same way as bad drivers do or hypocrites etc, he has no effect on my feelings for my current bf, or any other feelings based on positive emotions. it's unclear WHY does he affect you... at all. if you're over the entire relationship - why are you still upset over him not treating your right & making himself look like some kind of dumped brokenhearted victim? i believe you when you say you're over HIM but clearly you're not over what happened. seriously - why does it matter if he posts pictures on FB? you're posting pictures of your and your new man on your FB, i'm sure - so people who know YOU and follow YOU must know about what really goes on in your life. so why does it matter if he posts pictures on his own FB? i just don't understand why it annoys you so much, the only explanation is that you're still not over the hurt so you're annoyed with his antics. just block him, post pictures you want on your own FB, put a "in a relationship wih (name of the new man)" in your status and trust me - no one will be confused over what's going on. let that man grieve and act out if he wants to - you can't erase your relationship with him. even if he indeed was a bad choice, he was YOUR choice. you picked him so there is that. accept and focus on something else.
gaius Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Yes I But I can see how people on this forum have so many problems, you refuse to believe what people tell you. Sometimes there is no need to read between the lines. Im quite amazed to be honest. Every once in a while someone I haven't thought about in years will pop into my head and I'll login and check them out on Facebook, and I don't even really use Facebook that often. So I don't know what they're talking about, that it means your hung up on him. I think you just got a bad batch this morning. =/ If an ex started asking me to delete pictures of us together, or throw out panties of hers I had taken, I would interpret that as her trying to erase our history in a way. Which I would find deeply offensive. And absolutely refuse. So both your behavior is normal if you're unsatisfied with the relationship in hindsight and his as well for refusing to let you take away his trophies. 1
BC1980 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 I think it is better to read the OPs posts correctly before replying with some paranoid accusations. I clearly wrote that I do NOT miss him and I do NOT have feelings for him. And to confirm-I do NOT have lingering feelings for him and I do NOT secretly wish to be with him and I see no absolute point in trying to argue that I do. Surprisingly, some people mean what they say. Maybe your mind is filling in the blanks a little bit too wildly. It's clear that he still gets under your skin. It's clear that he can provoke you into an emotional reaction. It's clear that it bothers you a great deal that you can't control him. Here's the truth. You can't control him. He could post lies about you on FB, and you can't control that. If he wants to add more pics and say he is in a relationship with you, he can post that on FB too. I think it's normal to be somewhat irritated that he won't take the pics down, but you shouldn't have contacted him over it. You said he was verbally/physically abusive and enjoyed playing games. So what's new here? He's following his own MO and is trying to get under your skin. He was successful. You may not want him back, but you have some unresolved feelings surrounding him. 1
BC1980 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Yes I was interested in seeing if the general public finds this behavior normal or not, refusing to take down old couples photos when someone asks. I find it strange. Im actually referring to a very certain photo in his cover photo folders. It does not take excessive stalking to click the folder and see it there. I stalk numerous people on FB in general.. daily, I can see that being an unhealthy behavior, but not checking his in particular. (However it is not really stalking by looking at info that people have willingly shared online, maybe its a generational difference, or cultural) Yes, it's weird to keep photos of an ex from that long ago. Especially if you are in a new relationship. But you can't change him. If anything, he is making himself look ridiculous. I don't know if it's normal to refuse to take down the pics when asked by the ex. Most people, when told to do something, generally want to do the opposite. So you probably made matters worse and guaranteed that he won't take the pics down for a long time. I'm sure he greatly enjoyed that you were upset enough to ask him to take them down. Some people do keep ex stuff as a trophy. My last ex was like that. He kept letters, cards, t-shirts, photos and still kept in contact with all of he exes. I personally found it quite odd, but he was the type who wanted a harem of exes. Some people are just freaking weird, but you can't control it. The more you try to exert control, the more you will loose control and become increasingly frustrated. 2
rester Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Yes I was interested in seeing if the general public finds this behavior normal or not, refusing to take down old couples photos when someone asks. I find it strange. Im actually referring to a very certain photo in his cover photo folders. It does not take excessive stalking to click the folder and see it there. I stalk numerous people on FB in general.. daily, I can see that being an unhealthy behavior, but not checking his in particular. (However it is not really stalking by looking at info that people have willingly shared online, maybe its a generational difference, or cultural) I do find his behavior normal. Like others have said, being asked to remove the photos probably made him want to keep them up even more. You can't control a current boyfriend, let alone an ex. His business is no longer yours. Block him and move on. 3
No Limit Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Have you moved on from him yet? Checking his Facebook profile isn't a good sign in my honest opinion. Anyway, on why he won't take them down, he's already told you all you need to know: He refused to take them down saying that those pictures also belonged to him and he likes them and they remind him that good things can happen and he wants the world to see it, too. He doesn't want his profile to look like another guy who's only spending time with his buddies and never dated a girl before. These photos are proof that he's not "forever alone" and will likely spare him a lot of teasing from other guys who think themselves cool for having sex with a random drunk hookup every third moon. It's decoration. 1
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