amber2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Does it mean he is dating other women as well? When he wanted to meet me, I always agreed. But when I want to meet him he is always too busy. He sometimes text me every day. I am wondering if he does not like me, why he texts me every day? Is it just because he wants to string me along and cant let go the free sex? Am I too negative by thinking like this?
Peachland Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 It sounds like he's really not that into you and you're just a backup plan for sex. Is this working for you?
Author amber2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 It sounds like he's really not that into you and you're just a backup plan for sex. Is this working for you? I agree. I told him not to contact me anymore. I am done with his crap 1
markleymassraff Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Have the same issue. I've resigned myself to it, but it's still disappointing. Granted, he and I live in different cities (not that far apart -- 2.5 hours). But I know for sure he has been to my city and not contacted me a few times. I am baffled because: 1) when we were having sex (in January), he stated "I'm so attracted to you" so many times. 2) He said to me then (a number of times) and he made some vague references not long ago of how good he thought the sex was with me and him. 3) I haven't acted needy or been all over him. I do know for sure he sees other women. I am surprised, though, that he doesn't include me in the mix (and I really only want him for an FWB if I can't have him in a relationship), because I know for sure too that he thinks I"m "cool" or whatever. it's baffling. But I guess he just is attracted to enough other women that I'm way low on his priorities. It is very disappointing.
sagamore Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Does it mean he is dating other women as well? Very likely. When he wanted to meet me, I always agreed. But when I want to meet him he is always too busy. He sometimes text me every day. I am wondering if he does not like me, why he texts me every day? Is it just because he wants to string me along and cant let go the free sex? Yes, free sex. When he wants it - not on your schedule. Am I too negative by thinking like this? Nope, you're being realistic. His message is pretty clear.
eleve82 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Good for you girl - I have found many guys attempting to turn me into some sort of "FWB" and even found myself unwillingly being turned into one for the longest time. I've always made it clear that they could feed their cheap lines to the ONS they meet at bars. Stand up for yourself - you will like yourself better for it! 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 When are people going to realize that FWB is a casual arrangement with no strings? You don't have a right to be upset about his schedule or that he was too busy, because you're not dating him. It pretty much boils down to when you're both free and the mood strikes. That's it. If you want a guy that is more consistent, look into finding one to actually date. 3
mammasita Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 You're just a warm hole to him. That's all FWB is, nothing more. If you want a relationship where you have the right to ask those questions....find someone else. 2
markleymassraff Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 When are people going to realize that FWB is a casual arrangement with no strings? You don't have a right to be upset about his schedule or that he was too busy, because you're not dating him. It pretty much boils down to when you're both free and the mood strikes. That's it. If you want a guy that is more consistent, look into finding one to actually date. Well, you're right. Friends are just that...friends. You don't get mad when your friends don't see you on such-and-such schedule, why would you be bothered by your FWB not seeing you often enough? I would say that Friends and FWB are NOT the same thing. If they were, there wouldn't be two different terms. I do think you're right that one can't make too many demands with FWB, but I think it's somewhat understood by both parties that one might wanna get laid consistently more so than one wants to go have lunch or dinner w/ a particular friend consistently. Also, if you and the FWB in question actually did make an arrangement, -- that is, frequency was sort of stated -- and someone didn't stick to it -- you have grounds to be a little annoyed. Not all out demanding or even confront the person, but annoyed to yourself. In my case, some things were said that implied frequency and consistency. So, I'm not openly mad at the guy nor have I said anything to him, but I'm a bit annoyed that the things stated weren't stuck to. The OP (and I) are venting on here; neither of us is exactly going to the guy in question and bothering him. So...
markleymassraff Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 We both have a right to FEEL whatever we feel -- even if that's upset. What we don't truly have a right to do is go to the guy and demand his time or energy. And I don't know about the OP, but i sure haven't done that even a little bit.
smackie9 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 This is FWB, not a committed relationship. You chat, you meet, you have sex, you go home. FWB there are no feelings invested and their shouldn't be, it's only for the purpose of having sex with a friend. He likes you enough to have sex with you, but he has no interest in investing himself any further. This is not how you get a BF or hope it leads to something serious...you are doing it all wrong. If you are starting to catch feelings for him, you need to stop seeing him. When you agree to a FBW, you need to stipulate your expectations, and lay out ground rules, like you will have sex with said person, but are able to date others, etc. So if you don't communicate with him you get what you get. Is he seeing other women, yes that is a strong possibility. Sounds to me you will never really know, he is just going to keep lying to you anyways. So it is up to you to draw your own conclusion.
Redhead14 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Does it mean he is dating other women as well? When he wanted to meet me, I always agreed. But when I want to meet him he is always too busy. He sometimes text me every day. I am wondering if he does not like me, why he texts me every day? Is it just because he wants to string me along and cant let go the free sex? Am I too negative by thinking like this? It's an FWB. You don't get strung along in an FWB. He wants sex with you when no one else is available or just on his schedule. It's an FWB. No strings, no feelings. You owe each other nothing. When you entered into the arrangement, did you two agree that you would not date others? If not, he is free to date others and so are you. If you did agree to not date others and he is, then he's broken the agreement and you should move on. If you are getting emotionally invested in this, and I think you may be because you are asking these questions, I would move on if I were you before it becomes more difficult.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 If your fwb is too busy to meet you - he's probably too busy screwing another girl 2
smackie9 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 If a guy really feels anything for you he would say "You mean so much to me" or "I can't stop thinking about you" "You are special" "I need you, or I miss you so much" or "I want to see you more" "I like being with you" etc, Not you are so attractive over and over again like a broken record....it's meaningless.
Author amber2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 This guy is a player. I am sure he is seeing several girls at the same time I don't really care much about this because I don't see him a bf material either and he told me right at the beginning that he needs sex only with me. I am ok with this as I need it too. What I don't like is, When I need him I hope he could be there. So if he couldn't meet me one time, it is fine. But if he blows me off more than two times and do not suggest a time, I am totally done with him. I don't degrade myself this way.
Author amber2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 Good for you girl - I have found many guys attempting to turn me into some sort of "FWB" and even found myself unwillingly being turned into one for the longest time. I've always made it clear that they could feed their cheap lines to the ONS they meet at bars. Stand up for yourself - you will like yourself better for it! I accept his "sex only" agreement. But he always thinks I want more. I was always there when he wanted me, but when I wanted to meet him he was too busy and had many excuses. If he has too many options and could not give me a little time, well bye bye and good luck with your other girls. He didn't want to end it with me, but I insist on "no contact" rule 1
h0000 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 This guy is a player. I am sure he is seeing several girls at the same time I don't really care much about this because I don't see him a bf material either and he told me right at the beginning that he needs sex only with me. I am ok with this as I need it too. What I don't like is, When I need him I hope he could be there. So if he couldn't meet me one time, it is fine. But if he blows me off more than two times and do not suggest a time, I am totally done with him. I don't degrade myself this way. Well no FWB will be there when you need him. If you get angry over being blown off by an FWB then you will never get a FwB. I Think what you want is clearly a bf
Omei Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 If a guy really feels anything for you he would say "You mean so much to me" or "I can't stop thinking about you" "You are special" "I need you, or I miss you so much" or "I want to see you more" "I like being with you" etc, Not you are so attractive over and over again like a broken record....it's meaningless. Sometimes even all those are meaningless and just pretty words, everything is in the actions of a person, and yes because your fwb hes not required to come when you call for him. You could always make yourself a little less available when hes wanting that way he may give some though to arriving when your wanting idk just a thought.
Author amber2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Posted April 9, 2015 Well no FWB will be there when you need him. If you get angry over being blown off by an FWB then you will never get a FwB. I Think what you want is clearly a bf If fwb keeps blowing you off, how could it work? How do you get together?
h0000 Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 If fwb keeps blowing you off, how could it work? How do you get together? He blows you off because he is otherwise engaged and that is more important than you. This , is FWB. FWB works when both of you just happen to be free, which may happen once a week or only once in a few weeks, or months. You can't expect to get together with a Fwb frequently. It is not a "we will be there whenever the other person needs" arrangement. That arrangement is called relationship.
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