Fuerza Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 My partner can be an absolute sweetheart, but on the other hand he just doesn't really listen... I don't know how to explain it but here are some examples. When we're shopping together he'll just zone off and just stare at other things and kind of just forget that I'm with him. It's weird to explain but he does this really often, as if he can't handle all the stimuli. When I'm chatting with him on Skype (LDR) he will answer with 5 minutes or more apart, he won't really engage in a conversation and is usually busy with TONS of other things instead of me. It's been bothering me for a while and we finally had some time to meet up where we had 2 nights together. I expected him to be super sweet and thoughtful but I'm actually super disappointed. First day he had nothing planned, I literally had to tell him what I wanted to do even though I don't know his country. So I was like, ehm shopping then? So we did that. That day out of the blue he dropped a bomb on me that his friends wanted to meet me and wanted to eat out. Sooo we did that in the evening because I understood that but I kinda wanted to do something intimate together. Second day was the same, nothing special, he spent his time behind the computer while I had to amuse myself (watching TV). Oh and we ordered Domino's lol. Anyways he can be a sweetheart sometimes but he just... he isn't attentive and doesn't seem to understand me? I kind of don't want this relationship to be over as we've been together for almost 5 years but I can't keep going on like this.
Mrin Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 hmmm I don't see the sweet part. Is it just something you say to excuse him lack of attentiveness? In the end it doesn't matter. You're not going to change him and the relationship doesn't work for you anymore by your last sentence. It isn't going to get any better.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 He does seem like he is just going through the motions. Since you're not truly satisfied, I'd recommend breaking up with him and meeting a man locally that you can actually date regularly and spend time with. LDR's are no way to live IMO.
Gary S Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 I hate to say this but only 1 in 1000 LDR's work out.
Tayla Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 just gonna throw this out there... since you seem attentive to the fact that he isn't a fan of shopping or pre planning... in what ways can you adjust to his laid back ways? you might learn something from that. I gained from relationships in which the partner had an edge on being laid back....for i was a chronic planner . i learned its absolutely okay to take things as they come and enjoy the moments... spontaneity was foreign! Take a different perspective and see where it leads... I had to learn that planning every detail took away from adventures... Since this is a five yr ldr... you may be hitting a level where its time to discuss your differences and blend yourselves (compromise). and fyi... the rare instances that a guy wants to shop is if its tools,sports equipment or a gadget.. otherwise its just not in them to bargain hunt or be dragged from place to place... 1
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