SupportiveGuy Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I'm extremely affected by looks. Ugly = friends. Attractive = romantic feelings. For me there's no middle ground, there's no eventually I might come around, there's no convincing me you're right for me. I simply know instantly. I think my type are the women who only associate with other women of their type, and since I'm surrounded by these ugly girls, they aren't getting close. I go by bone structure of the face, and then by kindness, so status and fashion and makeup, education, occupation, and interests, and all that stuff is totally irrelevant to me. So the question could be asked of guys and girls, and it could mean looks or personality, and it could also be same gender friends or opposite gender friends. Do you feel like you have to fit in somehow with their friends for them to be attracted to you? If you see them with a group of friends, how much do you think it affects your chances of romantic success?
d0nnivain Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 No. I have a highly eclectic group of friends & acquaintances. If you tried to judge me by my friends the only logical conclusion would be that I had multiple personality disorder. There is something to be said for being able to blend into an existing group dynamic but it's not the sole arbiter of a relationship for me. I do agree with you though that I have always needed that instant chemistry thing to date somebody. We either instantly clicked or we didn't. Sexual desire was never something I could develop gradually. It was either there from the outset or it never materialized. 2
BlueIris Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I never dated someone based upon what his friends looked like, but I have declined to date someone if his friends are jerks. A male friend in college who spent a lot of time with me and doing things for me, and that I really liked a lot, was best friends with the most arrogant, condescending player jerk at our school. If he could tolerate and even like someone who treated other people so badly, there had to be something wrong with him. So, yeah, I’ve judged someone by the company they keep. Definitely. Oh, and his friend was gorgeous and brilliant. But a jerk. lol
sportygirl89 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 I only judge if the guy and him are negative towards others together. I was right after he broke up with me they were both negative about me (He left me when I was sick). But I see how they treat each other and base it off of that. If you see them being an A&* to each other then they will more than likely treat you like that IMO. I never base any on personality or looks just actions. Most of the time I've been right on the ex if I do not like the friend based off of action.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 I'm dating her, not her friends. So I think if you feel an over-whelming need to be accepted by a woman's friends, it shows a lack of self confidence. Plus, you sound way too hung up on the physical man. It's one thing to have physical preferences and standards. I'm a personal trainer and it's not like I'm going to date a woman that's massively obese or one that I don't want to kiss on a regular basis. However, when I've dated 9's and 10's, they tend to be high maintenance, lazy in bed, and boring to talk to. In a way it makes sense. When a woman is so used to being judged on her appearance, why put a ton of effort into developing a kick ass personality or bedroom skills? After all, aren't looks enough? I'd personally much rather have a cute 7 that's genuinely a good caring woman who is fun to be with in and out of bed. Sacrificing a bit on the physical can pay dividends in the end when you find a woman that's amazing on the inside. 1
Author SupportiveGuy Posted April 9, 2015 Author Posted April 9, 2015 Thanks for the replies. What I was trying to get at, partially, was, let's say a girl you're interested in has a bunch of guy friends, and they look or act a certain way, like a style. Or the same for a guy you're interested in, his female friends tend to have this style about them. Say if her male friends are all the blonde haired blue eyed super tall muscular type. (you as the guy, assuming you're nothing like them) Or his female friends are all super cute girls tiny who wear the top fashion and seem super cheerful all the time. (you as the girl...) @d0nnivain: I think you sort-of got it... but... I can dial up or down my initial attraction based on their attraction pretty easily. I like to say that my heart follows me. @fitnessfan365 I think you're totally misunderstanding what I was saying. It's hard for me to rate women by number, It's more of a yes or no thing. That's just how biology works for some people. I agree that personality is pretty important, especially in the US, since so many people don't have the benefit of a good upbringing to develop them into good people. I'd say that a person's actions are a part of their personality, otherwise how do you know what they're like? I think it varies with each person, sometimes it really does feel like you're dating their friends, or you are marrying their family, etc. Since my family mostly sucks, or are dead, I would rather not introduce a girl to them unless she insists. No family drama for me, thanks.
No Limit Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I'd only judge if all of them had this rude-punk attitude with appearances to match. Or if all of them were part of a fascist group or something like that. Anything else I don't really mind, it'd be boring if we were all the same.
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