ZA Dater Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Open question but in my opinion it simply is. Spend time with the person, decide if you like them and move on, do what you feel is right and hope she/he doesn't perceive it as being something bad. Look you best, sell yourself to a certain extent. Maybe we all overthink this, find complication where there shouldn't be any. For better or for worse we all have personality, some more radiant than others but we all need the benefit of the doubt at some point. Then again at 30 I haven't really figured any of this out so I may be typing a load of nonsense but when you break things down its not a difficult concept, ultimately you pretty much want to appeal to that person enough for them to : see you again : sleep with you The mechanics of it are complicated and emotion driven, take some of that out of it and surely it would all work better, yes I am probably sounding like a member of the flat earth society! Go out and observe casually social dynamics, its not really rocket science but the difficulty is what our minds will allow us to do, what our pride wont let us do, what we want, want being as broad as the Pacific ocean is large. I am be very wrong but if one can connect on an intellectual level then one can connect but again that may be wishful thinking. If you like spending time with someone you don't need to make up excuses to see them, or are most of us compromising because we cant find that ideal. Are most people saying "oh that will do" Thus, do we over complicate this or is it complicate to begin with?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 In my experience it only feels complicated if you're desperate. Otherwise if you're just along for the ride you're less likely to over-analyze things, and just enjoy yourself. 1
Vintage79 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 It's really not that complicated - if you click with someone, it's super easy, if you don't click with them, you don't bother seeing them again - it's pretty black or white, outside of the fact that "click" is a nebulous concept.
SawtoothMars Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Guys who dislike dating seem to hate the rejection... Women who hate it seem pissed nobody lives up to their expectations.
carhill Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 IME, the complicated part was sorting the currently involved/married ones from the single/available ones and, then, getting a yes to a date. In comparison, dating, meaning getting to know a person who said yes and growing intimacy and love, was quite uncomplicated.
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 You need three major things for a healthy and happy relationship that can last: 1) Mutual attraction - if one of you is not feelin' it, you are dead in the water. 2) Both must have a good attitude, be easy to get along with. Hot-heads need not apply. 3) Both must have a minimum of problems/ vices - this is a list of hundreds of deal-breakers, I don't have time to list them all... a few major problems are mental or health issues, alcohol or drug additions, the list goes on. Everything can be simple, even love, if you know how it works.
Author ZA Dater Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 1) Mutual attraction - if one of you is not feelin' it, you are dead in the water. This right here is the complicated bit.....
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