LooperDooper Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Hey guys, been very sad for the last 3 or 4 days and I don't know what's going on. I was so strong, so well, so happy and now having to see my ex with somebody else after she told me there wasn't anybody else in the picture is killing me. I was extremely well, but until having to see it every single day them together is killing me. I have no desire to talk to her, but I do have a huge ache in my heart that I was so good to her, she even told me that she wouldn't get with anybody because she didn't want to hurt me and that she needed a long time alone for herself. This was clearly all bullcrap and now I'm hurting again like I did the first day. I haven't reached out to her, nor do I plan on, but I feel like she's already moved on and it's killing me inside. Any suggestions? How can I cope with being so well until reality literally slaps you in the face every day seeing your ex with somebody new. Heck, even if they were together it'd make me feel better, but I'm pretty sure they are just sleeping around and probably will get together one day. I'm hurting bad again, if this girl ever came back I'd send her packing because I don't or won't believe anything she's ever said before. But I need help now, these past few days have been the most depressing and it's killing me because I was doing so well.
d0nnivain Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 She probably lied to spare your feelings. Either way, she's out of your life. Now as well as whatever drove you apart you know she's not truthful. Hasta La Vista, baby. 2
Author LooperDooper Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Ya I suppose. It just hurts. I guess I expected her to actually even feel a little bit that she lost me, I was very good to her and it feels like she didn't even care. Maybe I just wanted to feel special to her, but she easily replaced me with somebody else in her life and she doesn't even care. Just really hurting, need to get back to the attitude I had before and continue being myself.
Price2Play Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 She's just using the guy as a crutch to forget about you. It's a rebound relationship, don't beat yourself up over it. Erase her from your life & move on bro. Some people just can't be alone. 4
fireflywy Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 She's just using the guy as a crutch to forget about you. It's a rebound relationship, don't beat yourself up over it. Erase her from your life & move on bro. Some people just can't be alone. ^^This is dead on^^ 1
frigginlost Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 It hurts like hell, man. I have been a wreck the last two days because my ex is on a "family" vacation with her new boyfriend and her kids a mere 2 months after dumping me (she actually jumped into a relationship with him 2 weeks after throwing me to the curb)... Not a damn thing we can do about it. Just swallow the pain and move forward... 1
elaine567 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Ya I suppose. It just hurts. I guess I expected her to actually even feel a little bit that she lost me, I was very good to her and it feels like she didn't even care. Maybe I just wanted to feel special to her, but she easily replaced me with somebody else in her life and she doesn't even care. Just really hurting, need to get back to the attitude I had before and continue being myself. You actually have no idea whether she cares or not. Just because she realised you had no future together and saw you as a brother, doesn't mean she didn't care. BUT the fact is, this information about her seeing someone else gives you certainty. YOU now know you do not want her back whatever happens and so there are no decisions to be made, no worrying about "what ifs" and "maybes". You can move on cleanly, focus on you. 1
Karin2rinkashi Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 (edited) She's just using the guy as a crutch to forget about you. It's a rebound relationship, don't beat yourself up over it. Erase her from your life & move on bro. Some people just can't be alone. Bloody well said, mate! Don't take it personally. It shows their flaw, not yours! And, maybe she does care as a human being, but she DEFINITELY DIDN'T care the way she told you. NORMAL human beings, who ACTUALLY care, do not lie and then flat out contradict their words in weeks. She has no regard for your feelings, and is a selfish person. People can justify it all they want! Edited April 8, 2015 by Karin2rinkashi 2
Cantsum Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 She's just using the guy as a crutch to forget about you. It's a rebound relationship, don't beat yourself up over it. Erase her from your life & move on bro. Some people just can't be alone. Could be, but not necessarily. He might've been a guy she was "seeing" beforehand when things started to go cocks up in OP's relationship. We already know OP's ex is a liar, so who knows. 1
AIJ Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 My ex said the same then jumped in to a new relationship 2 weeks later. Really don't care anymore, been 2 months+ since the break up and I have no desire to ever talk to her again nor do I care what she's doing with her life. As far as I'm concerned, she's in the past and she will stay there Occasionally miss her and have the 'what if' thoughts, like 'what if I done this, that and the other', but then I just shake it off and continue with my day. 2
SycamoreCircle Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Spare your feelings? Malarkey. They do it because they're selfish and because it's easier than having to tell the truth. They know it's deceit. Whatever happened to your relationship, you have this going for you: it was not borne out of deceit. Any relationship borne out of deceit is not love and will end just as dishonestly as it was begun. Your ex's day of reckoning will come. You may never know about it. It may never register in your hemisphere. But there will come a day when they will have to account for the wrongs they've done you and it will not be pretty. I promise you. 2
BC1980 Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 How can people lie? Because it suits their agenda. How can people not care? Because they justify their reasons by any means. I think we've probably all done it at some point, but remember the hurt you feel right now. Take that as a lesson on how to treat others. 3
Karin2rinkashi Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 My ex said the same then jumped in to a new relationship 2 weeks later. Really don't care anymore, been 2 months+ since the break up and I have no desire to ever talk to her again nor do I care what she's doing with her life. As far as I'm concerned, she's in the past and she will stay there Occasionally miss her and have the 'what if' thoughts, like 'what if I done this, that and the other', but then I just shake it off and continue with my day. I have a WHAT IF FOR YOU!!!! WHAT IF she did it 20 years, a marriage, 3 kids, a house, a whole life later? So, it is good that she showed her true colors now. Yes, it bothers us all, but **** em! 2
Author LooperDooper Posted April 9, 2015 Author Posted April 9, 2015 Very true everybody. It doesn't matter whether it's a rebound guy, whether she was aiming this relationship up while we were together or if she still loves me. I don't care. I can't be with this person ever again with all of these things going on, I can't trust her, I can't believe her, heck I can't even see her the way I did such a long time ago. Only thing hurting is being alone. But it's the type of sadness I can manage because I know it's short-term. The only downside to all of this is having to see her everyday in class, but I'm beginning back the steps I took to show my happiness while am at school. The last thing I'd ever want is for her to see me sad. I'm going to try to be as at peace with myself as possible in moments of seeing them together. I try and try, it will be hard, but I have lost all hope possible with her which unless I'm mistaken is probably the hardest step. I still feel pain because I felt I was dragged on and I felt I put in so much more in the declining moments while she slowly stepped away. I see her in class, I see her friends in class and I look at them with despise. Not even one tiny part of me wishes to be near them and their immaturity. Just wish I didn't have to see her and have to find out what's up in her life, hopefully something changes that in life so I can be forever at peace and literally bury those moments as a faded lesson in my past.
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