The Marriage Apocalypse - I wasn't imagining this.

[BluEyeL]

Eh, in the past marriage was forced on people. People didn't marry for love, it was an partnership contract that helped society work and children be accounted for and raised: I bring the money, you take care of the kids and house.

 

Since there is more focus than ever on marrying for love, staying with someone is not forced anymore, so it is natural that people in Europe would rather live together and raise their children together and not be bound by a legal contract. In case they decide to split, it would be easier to do so. When relationships are by choice and not by force, it's natural that many, if not the majority, will eventually end. Just look at your friendships over the years. How many of them have resisted? I'm willing to bet that few. Similary with romantic relationships. Most will end if nobody forces us to stay.

 

I don't think it's the end of the world. It's just a change and I don't see it as negative. Women can work and support themselves and the children now, they do not have their livelihood depend on marriage anymore. I see that as a good thing.

 

And the single mom thing, again, people overreacting and freaking out. If the mom is stable, has money, the house is stable, father is also involved, it's just another model that can work just as well. Kids just need stability, not a certain model imposed by society. I am a single mother and I make low 6 figures, own a 4 bedroom house, my son is a teen and very happy, stable, good in school, no issues. Yeah, I do have a career, and I do have a housekeeper and someone who cuts my grass, and I did use daycare for one year and grandparents before that. The single mom thing is a problem when she doesn't make enough money, drinks, takes drugs, sleeps with countless of men, is abusive....

 

I much rather have freedom than be forced into anything to live my life the way others think I must. So for me it's all good.

[pteromom]

I don't think people have quite the reverence for marriage that they did have. This is because women have increasing economic independance and also because religion isn't in control of people's morals any more..

 

It's also because with the internet, we can for the first time see the dirty secrets that make up the negative side of marriage. We can read all the stories from the inside.

 

Women see the marriages with the abusive guys, the porn addicts, the leavers, the adulterers, the alcoholics.

 

Men see the marriages with the sex-averse wives, the cheaters, the extreme shoppers, the expensive divorces.

 

And we all say "WHY the hell would I want to sign up for that? I can just be single and avoid all that crap."

 

And then it takes a very special person to change our minds - which in a way, is how it should be. The danger is when someone becomes so afraid of the possible negative outcomes that they live in a defensive mode that poisons their relationship.

[toolforgrowth]

W

 

Sub-human species that I wish would get swallowed up by the earth.

 

You'd think natural selection would end up in these millennials not making it, but seems like they are the "norm" now a days and anything smarter, stronger, independent is in extinction.

 

I am hoping that with their steady diet of weed and Red Bull one day simultaneously their brains, hearts, etc will just explode and/or they just pass out in the streets and never wake up. Then, and only then we will be rid of this plague that will be the downfall of civilization as we know it.

 

This surprises me, Gloria. You didn't seem like the kind of person who would have this mindset.

 

I'm 35, literally right on the edge of Gen X and Millenial. I identify with millenials far more. I also have no desire to marry, and my career is more important to me. I have very little debt and live within my means.

 

Of course, my daughter is my number one priority, but having the best career I can is in her best interests, as it opens the doors for more opportunities for her (like college).

 

I also smoke weed. I only do it at home, never around my kid, and I have a great career in IT. I own my own home, always pay my bills on time, pay my fair share of taxes, and have a very fun life.

 

Feel free to generalize all you want. Just know that I'm living proof that your generalizations are false.

[thefooloftheyear]

 

 

I may change indeed but my future plans don't exactly welcome marriage (neither my opinion about marriage from all of the sometimes spectacular examples I see around me). I'll have finished college and university in 2024, at age 28. Depending on which career I choose I'll have to receive further training for another 6 years, so I'll be 34 years old when I can finally rest and enjoy the fruit of my labor. But I'm not foolish enough to expect a man of equal or more income range to ever be faithful (the infidelity statistics around doctors isn't that encouraging either), which means he's not trustworthy, which means he's a person I don't want in my house. So why would I willingly invest years of my life in a relationship with a pig, give birth to his children and then get them through a messy divorce and hand them back and forth, maybe even with some emotional blackmail mixed in - all for a ring? Really?

 

 

Too much projecting.....

 

 

You wouldn't get married because you would marry a doctor and he would be unfaithful, would get a divorce, etc..? Do you have the lottery numbers as well?:laugh:

 

Try to look at life and take it as it comes...For all you know, you can fall in love with a plumber that fixed your drain pipe and he could be the man of your dreams and always remain faithful......You just dont know what will happen...You also could have a complete change of heart with regard to your career...You may change your mind, you may find something that suits you more favorably....you just dont know...

 

I didnt think for a single moment that I would want or desire to have kids....Now that I am a dad, I can tell you that its the best thing that ever happened to me...its not even close...

 

You sound like a very mature young lady...Just realize that life doesn't follow a script for anyone...Everyone you will ever talk to that has some years behind them will tell you the same thing...

 

TFY

Edited April 8, 2015 by thefooloftheyear

[hotgurl]

I think the number of "happily single" people is overestimated. While the number of "single" people is not.

 

I don't doubt that there is a trend overall or in Scandinavian countries. But in my circles I don't really see it. And it would also be interesting to ask those same young ladies how they feel in 10 years.

 

I think in Europe a lot of couples cohabitate a long time before getting married. A lot of times they have kids prior to marriage. It is more common their.

 

So even though they are coupled up they are considered single by the government etc...

 

This is happening more in younger couples in the US as well. More are living together for years prior to marriage. I was with my BF for 7 years. We even bought a house together before marriage. My cousin bought a house and had a baby with his GF before marriage.

[jay1983]

You seem to really enjoy generalizing and also painting women in particular with a really ugly brush.

 

I am a millenial (I'm 22). All my friends are also. Nobody I know is "sub-human" or a weed smoker or any of that. I have no idea where you live or who you associate with to have come up with such ridiculous notions but I assure you, nobody I know is anything like what you have described.

 

I think in every age bracket there are smart people and there are idiots. I'm sure there are plenty of older idiots too, weed smokers, hookers, druggies, you name it. If you associate and hang out with trashy people, Gloria, don't assume everyone is trashy.

 

All the millenials I know also want marriage. I want marriage as well, although since I'm going into physical sciences, I'll be doing grad school, post doc, and so I won't have a job until I'm 30 or so. So the babymaking won't happen earlier as that will disrupt my education. But that doesn't mean the concept of marriage is dead for me. Most of my friends are like-minded- studious, intelligent people who are aiming high career-wise, are not sleeping around or smoking weed but rather are planning their futures. They're all marriage-minded. So I don't know where this eagerness to trash millenials came from.

 

Also, I did a quick read of the article. I find it curious that career and marriage are presented as an either or. I'm not sure why you can't have both. I'm not sure why the topic of lavish weddings is repeatedly brought up- marriage is cheap if you want to be married, all the lavishness can be totally avoided if you can't afford it. What's wrong with a quiet ceremony? I'm not sure why, once married, you automatically become a SAHM. There is such a thing as a "working mom". You just pay for a nanny to take care of your kid, or daycare.

It's a demographic thing, it really depends on what side of the tracks you come from. I'm pretty familiar with what she's talking about. I had this friend of mine from school, he was a white boy from the suburbs. He was cool cat, but not accustomed to some of the stuff he saw for the first time. Like there was one instance where we went to the neighbors house to smoke and he throw a fit because we were smoking weed in front of his kids. I was dude, that type of thing is normal around here.

[thefooloftheyear]

It's also because with the internet, we can for the first time see the dirty secrets that make up the negative side of marriage. We can read all the stories from the inside.

 

Women see the marriages with the abusive guys, the porn addicts, the leavers, the adulterers, the alcoholics.

 

Men see the marriages with the sex-averse wives, the cheaters, the extreme shoppers, the expensive divorces.

 

And we all say "WHY the hell would I want to sign up for that? I can just be single and avoid all that crap."

 

And then it takes a very special person to change our minds - which in a way, is how it should be. The danger is when someone becomes so afraid of the possible negative outcomes that they live in a defensive mode that poisons their relationship.

 

 

Good post,,,,

 

Yes, everyone is so jaded now, that they just crap on anything that remotely resembles the "old/traditional"...way...Its really pretty sad...

 

 

Another thing that is kinda depressing is I have been around long enough to remember when family(and extended family) was a vital part of everyone's lives...Just about every Sunday and all holidays were times to meet and enjoy the company of a loving and close family..The kids got to play with their cousins, and everyone had a blast..And the women were the ones-for the most part- that kept this going...they coordinated and made all the arrangements...Mostly because they had more time to do it...

 

Now that everyone is chasing career dreams, and discarding things like marriage and kids, it does seem as though the closeness of family has become less of a priority in one's lives anymore...people just don't do it anymore....everyone is exhausted....no one wants to make the effort...Its really too bad...We are trying desperately to keep it going, but its probably gonna die when our parents are gone...

 

TFY

Edited April 8, 2015 by thefooloftheyear

[hotgurl]

also a lot of it is economically driven.

 

You have a generation of people who are very educated. But it takes time and money to become that educated. 4 years at least but many people have their masters so 6 years. You are looking at people who are starting their careers in their mid twenties with an average of 30,000 in student loan debt.

 

They are thinking of getting their careers going and paying off debt not marriage and houses. Hell a couple of millennial wouldn't even qualify for a mortgage with and average combined student loan debt of 60,000.

 

Also in my experience most people of that age do long term committed relationship. College can be a hook up culture but most serious students are not like that.

 

I am gen X and all my friends waited until their thirties to get married.

 

Sometimes I get annoyed with the older generation making crappy judgements on the younger generation.It is just not the same game out ther any more. My first job paid $9.00 an hour (out of college) and required a degree.

 

You are not going to see suzy and johnny buying a house and having babier in their early twenties anymore because economically it is just not possible.

[Woggle]

If the older generation didn't weaken unions and the working class so much maybe things could be different but they created the monster and now want to complain about it's effects.

[thefooloftheyear]

also a lot of it is economically driven.

 

You have a generation of people who are very educated. But it takes time and money to become that educated. 4 years at least but many people have their masters so 6 years. You are looking at people who are starting their careers in their mid twenties with an average of 30,000 in student loan debt.

 

They are thinking of getting their careers going and paying off debt not marriage and houses. Hell a couple of millennial wouldn't even qualify for a mortgage with and average combined student loan debt of 60,000.

 

Also in my experience most people of that age do long term committed relationship. College can be a hook up culture but most serious students are not like that.

 

I am gen X and all my friends waited until their thirties to get married.

 

Sometimes I get annoyed with the older generation making crappy judgements on the younger generation.It is just not the same game out ther any more. My first job paid $9.00 an hour (out of college) and required a degree.

 

You are not going to see suzy and johnny buying a house and having babier in their early twenties anymore because economically it is just not possible.

 

 

Yep...

 

And I pay most entry level people with no college education 30+/hr....And anyone with even remotely decent skills easily make 6 figures...

 

No student loans...

No college..

No waiting...

Work anywhere you want on the planet

Shortages will continue to drive demand/wages..

 

But it takes people with mechanical aptitude and a strong body...Which is becoming very difficult to find..

 

People need to start to get away from the mindset that they absolutely need a college degree to get anywhere..Most of the people I know that are in trades and can actually do a job without being high or drunk make more and sometimes substantially more, than their white collar peers..

 

TFY

[pteromom]

And the women were the ones-for the most part- that kept this going...they coordinated and made all the arrangements...Mostly because they had more time to do it...

 

Now that everyone is chasing career dreams, and discarding things like marriage and kids, it does seem as though the closeness of family has become less of a priority in one's lives anymore...people just don't do it anymore....everyone is exhausted....no one wants to make the effort...Its really too bad...We are trying desperately to keep it going, but its probably gonna die when our parents are gone...

 

 

I don't think it is because of women having careers - I think it is because people are so focused on their child's success, they over-schedule them with sports and music and competitions and camps and tutors, and life is just so much of a whirlwind that there is no time for simple play. And the kids don't learn how to play, or how to build relationships that aren't built on anything but wanting to be together.

[BlueIris]

First of all, question people who try to scare you or whip you into a frenzy. The writer of that article lost credibility with me when she used the word “apocalypse.” Oh for heavens sake.... such Chicken-Little/Henny-Penny thinking. Or maybe it's Mr. Bill thinking. Anyway, it was a very skewed article.

 

Are there changes? Sure. Are they bad? For the most part, not that I can see. One thing that does concern me is the number of births out of wedlock (over 50% in 2012 in the US). I'm concerned primarily because of the possible economic consequences, but we don't know yet what the ramifications of that will be.

 

The whole article assumes that these career-oriented or travel-loving people can’t be married or that marriage precludes career ambition or travel. Of course, that's not true. The rules and form of a marriage are created by the partners in the marriage. My 28 year old daughter and her 28 year old BF (now son in law) got married last year and they’re working in demanding careers, owning a house, travelling, raising a puppy, paying student loans, saving some, going out… making the life they want. So are their friends. It is possible.

[StanMusial]

Holy shnikeys, every social illness under the sun has been described here.

 

Still I says when Ms. Thang turns 29 she will be clutching at every male in her vicinity.

[No Limit]

Then there's No Limit... wow... this chick is cool AF. Her cynical, but fact filled post makes perfect sense. Funny thing about her post is these things do happen. I recently had a millennial friend or girl i see or whatever proposition me to have a kid with her where I'm not involved. A donor, just as no limit mentions. Probably wouldn't donit though.

 

The problem is that if she feels like "Damn, having a baby isn't as I thought it would be" she could drag you to court and demand child support from you which you'd have to pay, even if you never see that kid.

 

I also remember reading somewhere how a guy was asked by a married woman to impregnate her; and that guy did it (needless to say he's not at risk of ever paying child support because the woman would never tell her husband who the true father is). It's everywhere. The next thing I'm waiting for is "designer babies" to take over the market. I'd very much like to know how a mother is going to answer when the child asks: "If I didn't look like you decided I would be, would you still have wanted me?" There are bound to happen very interesting - and likely devastating - psychological effects on these children.

 

Too much projecting.....

 

You wouldn't get married because you would marry a doctor and he would be unfaithful, would get a divorce, etc..? Do you have the lottery numbers as well?:laugh:

 

Try to look at life and take it as it comes...For all you know, you can fall in love with a plumber that fixed your drain pipe and he could be the man of your dreams and always remain faithful......You just dont know what will happen...You also could have a complete change of heart with regard to your career...You may change your mind, you may find something that suits you more favorably....you just dont know...

 

I didnt think for a single moment that I would want or desire to have kids....Now that I am a dad, I can tell you that its the best thing that ever happened to me...its not even close...

 

You sound like a very mature young lady...Just realize that life doesn't follow a script for anyone...Everyone you will ever talk to that has some years behind them will tell you the same thing...

 

TFY

 

Projecting, or foresight?

 

The doctor is just an example. Most people meet during university, and if I do decide to go to the surgeons I'll be in a male-dominated field so I simply figured. As for your example of the "plumber that fixed your drain pipe"; let's please be a little realistic here, not Disney "Lady and the Tramp" even though I do guess it must sound amazing for a guy to have the wife earn all the money and while I'm gone he's screwing a random woman in our marital bed.

 

It's not that I'm "hiss family life grrr", I'm just not naive enough to put my heart out there for someone with "basic animal instincts, needing to spread his seed sorry gurl but oh hey I luv you" and giving him so much power over my life. Hell, even after years I still remember a scene from an anime where husband, wife and little daughter hug and the husband suddenly looks at his wife and says "You've made me the happiest man in the world" - but life isn't a movie. One wrong choice and things I've worked for until I'm 34 years old - over a third of my lifetime - will be in ruins, not to mention my inner peace.

 

I know life isn't a script. Heck, I could get involved in a car crash someday, become disabled and then I can throw my plans overboard, but until something severe like that happens I do follow my script. Has it worked out exactly as I imagined it would be? Indeed it didn't, but ultimately I reached my goal. And I won't let marriage get in the way of that.

[thefooloftheyear]

The problem is that if she feels like "Damn, having a baby isn't as I thought it would be" she could drag you to court and demand child support from you which you'd have to pay, even if you never see that kid.

 

I also remember reading somewhere how a guy was asked by a married woman to impregnate her; and that guy did it (needless to say he's not at risk of ever paying child support because the woman would never tell her husband who the true father is). It's everywhere. The next thing I'm waiting for is "designer babies" to take over the market. I'd very much like to know how a mother is going to answer when the child asks: "If I didn't look like you decided I would be, would you still have wanted me?" There are bound to happen very interesting - and likely devastating - psychological effects on these children.

 

 

 

Projecting, or foresight?

 

The doctor is just an example. Most people meet during university, and if I do decide to go to the surgeons I'll be in a male-dominated field so I simply figured. As for your example of the "plumber that fixed your drain pipe"; let's please be a little realistic here, not Disney "Lady and the Tramp" even though I do guess it must sound amazing for a guy to have the wife earn all the money and while I'm gone he's screwing a random woman in our marital bed.

 

It's not that I'm "hiss family life grrr", I'm just not naive enough to put my heart out there for someone with "basic animal instincts, needing to spread his seed sorry gurl but oh hey I luv you" and giving him so much power over my life. Hell, even after years I still remember a scene from an anime where husband, wife and little daughter hug and the husband suddenly looks at his wife and says "You've made me the happiest man in the world" - but life isn't a movie. One wrong choice and things I've worked for until I'm 34 years old - over a third of my lifetime - will be in ruins, not to mention my inner peace.

 

I know life isn't a script. Heck, I could get involved in a car crash someday, become disabled and then I can throw my plans overboard, but until something severe like that happens I do follow my script. Has it worked out exactly as I imagined it would be? Indeed it didn't, but ultimately I reached my goal. And I won't let marriage get in the way of that.

 

Its really pretty sad that you have such bitterness and cynicism at such an early age...

 

Point is you can have everything you want...but everything in life, you will find, usually comes with some risk....But if you are going to go through life with a helmet on....well...I don't know what to tell you...

 

TFY

[ltjg45]

also a lot of it is economically driven.

 

You have a generation of people who are very educated. But it takes time and money to become that educated. 4 years at least but many people have their masters so 6 years. You are looking at people who are starting their careers in their mid twenties with an average of 30,000 in student loan debt.

 

They are thinking of getting their careers going and paying off debt not marriage and houses. Hell a couple of millennial wouldn't even qualify for a mortgage with and average combined student loan debt of 60,000.

 

Also in my experience most people of that age do long term committed relationship. College can be a hook up culture but most serious students are not like that.

 

I am gen X and all my friends waited until their thirties to get married.

 

Sometimes I get annoyed with the older generation making crappy judgements on the younger generation.It is just not the same game out ther any more. My first job paid $9.00 an hour (out of college) and required a degree.

 

You are not going to see suzy and johnny buying a house and having babier in their early twenties anymore because economically it is just not possible.

 

You are kidding me, right?

 

I just got a pay raise to $9.50/hr working at Walmart yesterday.

 

Can you tell me how long ago it was when you got this job? Because if this is recent (like a year ago), this only makes going to college even more worthless than it is now.

 

Because I am definitely not going to waste 4-6 years of my life and get $20,000+ in college debt just so I can work a job that pays slightly more than what I get working at a low-level retail overnight cashier (that certainly does NOT require a degree in any way, shape, or form).

[ltjg45]

Its really pretty sad that you have such bitterness and cynicism at such an early age...

 

Point is you can have everything you want...but everything in life, you will find, usually comes with some risk....But if you are going to go through life with a helmet on....well...I don't know what to tell you...

 

TFY

 

No offense, TFY, but I can't blame her for the way she thinks. At least she understands the many dangers that is happening right now in the dating scene and, like her, I also have been a lot more realistic than almost any other male out there.

 

Most guys would throw caution into the wind and almost all of them will get burned by the women they have been with. I am sure most of them will have some form of regret once that do happen. As for me and what little I do have, I have no intentions of letting that happen for me so the first time I see a warning time, I am already hitting the eject button. I learned the hard way things don't get better after that. In fact, it typically get worse and, considering my luck, I can't rely on that to give me a favorable situation.

[CrystalCastles]

They thought nothing of handing over tiny infants to the hands of daycare providers for 8-10 hrs a day

TFY

 

What's wrong with daycare? My sister went to daycare when she was 5. She loved it. She made tons of friends there, she wasn't bored or moping around the house. Most of my friends had both parents working so they were either in daycare, or during the summer in camps.

 

I think daycare is great because it teaches a child that the universe does not revolve around them. Attention from a SAHM all day every day can make a kid spoiled and attention-seeking. Plus, kids make friends in daycare, they socialize.

 

I think that its more laziness in parenting than daycare. I notice a lot of people don't really put in an effort into their kids. They don't really care how the kid is doing in school, they don't care who the kid hangs out with, kids get stuff handed to them easily and many of them seem very spoiled, from my experience (having been a camp councillor and daycare worker before).

 

It's a demographic thing, it really depends on what side of the tracks you come from.

 

Perhaps that is true. The weed smoking thing is pretty looked down upon in my area because a lot of people here who do it come from poor, low-class families, mostly outside the city. There are a few hippie-type people who go to 4/20 and are strongly pro-legalization but I don't think there are too many of them, or maybe I just haven't run into them.

 

I don't think it is because of women having careers - I think it is because people are so focused on their child's success, they over-schedule them with sports and music and competitions and camps and tutors, and life is just so much of a whirlwind that there is no time for simple play. And the kids don't learn how to play, or how to build relationships that aren't built on anything but wanting to be together.

 

Huh! That's an interesting thought, I actually found it was the opposite for me personally.

 

My mom was always worried I'd be moping and wasting my time, so she filled up my schedule with all kinds of things- 2 hour piano lessons every day, ballet at a professional school, art classes, Russian folk dance, Russian school, sports, camps, filming and animation classes, swimming lessons, pottery, I barely had time to play with the neighborhood kids. It didn't stop me from socializing with people in those extracurricular activities I was in though, it was easy to bond with those people because we had common interests. I actually found it easier to establish friendships in those activities because I had something to talk about, in comparison to school (where people mostly talked about stupid, petty things I wasn't interested in).

 

I think that in moderation, activities are good. A child should be busy, they shouldn't be spending days alone in the house, playing videogames or moping. I think these activities also expand a child's interests because they see what is out there and figure out what they like. As someone who had a whirlwind childhood, I am really glad my mom did all that because I was able to figure out stuff about myself and what I liked, and what were my favourite hobbies. Now as an adult, I have ways of occupying myself when I have free time and I am never bored. I've done a lot of things too, so it makes it easier to talk to people because I have a lot of stuff to share.

[jay1983]

Perhaps that is true. The weed smoking thing is pretty looked down upon in my area because a lot of people here who do it come from poor, low-class families, mostly outside the city. There are a few hippie-type people who go to 4/20 and are strongly pro-legalization but I don't think there are too many of them, or maybe I just haven't run into them.

 

 

 

Oh boy, if weed smoke bothers you, you'd be in for a trip if came over here. lol

Edited April 9, 2015 by jay1983

[CrystalCastles]

Oh boy, if weed smoke bothers you, you'd be in for a trip if came over here. lol

 

Haha! Although I don't have any issues with people smoking it, personally I can't stand the smell.

[No Limit]

Its really pretty sad that you have such bitterness and cynicism at such an early age...

 

Point is you can have everything you want...but everything in life, you will find, usually comes with some risk....But if you are going to go through life with a helmet on....well...I don't know what to tell you...

 

TFY

 

I learned my lesson aged 13. Without a romantic relationship. Bitterness =/= carefulness.

 

And don't worry, these walls are up only around my emotions. Everything else I'm pretty open for (okay, except maybe religions; don't need a church for spirituality).

[hotgurl]

You are kidding me, right?

 

I just got a pay raise to $9.50/hr working at Walmart yesterday.

 

Can you tell me how long ago it was when you got this job? Because if this is recent (like a year ago), this only makes going to college even more worthless than it is now.

 

Because I am definitely not going to waste 4-6 years of my life and get $20,000+ in college debt just so I can work a job that pays slightly more than what I get working at a low-level retail overnight cashier (that certainly does NOT require a degree in any way, shape, or form).

 

It was 15 years ago. I make a decent living now. But i had to put in the years at grunt level.

[Diezel]

It's also because with the internet, we can for the first time see the dirty secrets that make up the negative side of marriage. We can read all the stories from the inside.

 

Women see the marriages with the abusive guys, the porn addicts, the leavers, the adulterers, the alcoholics.

 

Men see the marriages with the sex-averse wives, the cheaters, the extreme shoppers, the expensive divorces.

 

And we all say "WHY the hell would I want to sign up for that? I can just be single and avoid all that crap."

 

And then it takes a very special person to change our minds - which in a way, is how it should be. The danger is when someone becomes so afraid of the possible negative outcomes that they live in a defensive mode that poisons their relationship.

 

 

Bingo, absolutely spot on.

 

There isn't a marriage "apocalypse". There definitely is a shift in the marrying ages though.

[central]

Some college degrees aren't worth it if you obtain it for the purposes of employment. It's a question of supply and demand for the services and skills you can offer. Some degrees are very lucrative.

 

A degree in a STEM field can easily lead to starting pay of $30 an hour or even much more. For example, with a few years experience, I've consistently earned from $45 to $75 an hour in IT, depending on whether it was as an employee or contractor.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Well it's important to look at this data objectively.

 

You have to remember that the original reason why people married, and why many elsewhere in the world still marry, was and is for status, connections between countries and families and wealth - rarely was it for love. In fact, marriage and love largely did not go together.

 

Only recently has marriage been about being in love.

 

So the reason marriage has formerly been so popular is that people were forced into the institution by and large and others chose it for its religious significance.

 

Now marriage CAN be a beautiful thing, but lets not pretend it was hard woven into the institution itself.

 

If people in the past had freedom to choose, chances are many would remain unmarried.

 

Today people have the freedom and although many are into casual sex, casual relationships and the hook up culture, hidden within those figures are also cohabiting couples, same sex couples, couples who can't afford to marry or who have been together for 25 years but don't want to marry.

 

A lot of my friends (I'm 25 and they are a similar age bracket) are engaged to marry. I don't think it's going anywhere. I just think people are more cautious of marriage; after all, a ring doesn't mean one of you won't cheat, fall out of love or clean the other out - it just means you've made a promise to try harder, which not every partner honours.