New Member, signed up for critique on a letter

[Chaser of Eros]

Short background,

 

I've know her for about a month (we attend the same school) but didn't officially get to have a 1-on-1 interaction with her until last week when I offered to take her to lunch and she accepted. I penned a 1 page letter expressing my feelings about her and just wanted to get some strangers opinions on it in regards to rather or not it's too much or just right.

 

I'm asking strangers as I've asked my rl peers and wanted to see more opinions on the matter. and if the question arises as to rather I've given it to her or not, as of the morning of 7th of April, I have not.

 

[her and my name have been removed]

 

[PegNosePete]

Why don't you just ask her out?

 

Giving a letter like that makes you look like a freaky stalker.

[Chaser of Eros]

Why don't you just ask her out?

 

Giving a letter like that makes you look like a freaky stalker.

 

Lol, few of my peers mirrored the same feelings. and I've taken her out once already and definitely will offer to take her out again. but I'm not good with vocalizing my feelings or emotions and always been better at penning them out.

 

I'm an old school romantic losing to new age dating styles I guess.

[Grilled_Salmon]

All I can say is that you have really awesome handwriting. I couldn't write like that even if my life depended on it....and so, the love letters I wrote often looked like they were written by a child XD.

[PegNosePete]

I'm an old school romantic losing to new age dating styles I guess.

If by new age you mean 20th century then yes, lol.

[Chaser of Eros]

If by new age you mean 20th century then yes, lol.

 

lol.

 

All I can say is that you have really awesome handwriting. I couldn't write like that even if my life depended on it....and so, the love letters I wrote often looked like they were written by a child XD.

 

Thank you very much.

[gaius]

If you're in school then you're the age where you should be trying out things, seeing what works for you and what doesn't. If you feel that strongly about it then send it, but from what I've seen the success rate is very low on that kind of stuff. You'd probably be better off learning to vocalize, or even better, pretending you don't have any emotions for her until you get the sense she has some for you.

[Chaser of Eros]

If you're in school then you're the age where you should be trying out things, seeing what works for you and what doesn't. If you feel that strongly about it then send it, but from what I've seen the success rate is very low on that kind of stuff. You'd probably be better off learning to vocalize, or even better, pretending you don't have any emotions for her until you get the sense she has some for you.

 

never been able to mask my emotions. heart is permanently sown onto my sleeve

[d0nnivain]

You do have exquisite penmanship.

 

 

However, the letter is too much. You reveal too much. You wear your heart on your sleeve & in the letter come across as a weak, needy, clingy unattractive doofus.

 

 

Since I am assuming you are writing this because you want her to fall for you, I can promise you it will have the exact opposite effect & send her running.

 

 

Save it.

 

 

Date her. Re-work it & give it to her on your 1st anniversary. Then it will be well received & cherished. Now it will prevent the relationship from ever forming. Timing is everything.

[Auspecial]

Lol, few of my peers mirrored the same feelings. and I've taken her out once already and definitely will offer to take her out again. but I'm not good with vocalizing my feelings or emotions and always been better at penning them out.

 

I'm an old school romantic losing to new age dating styles I guess.

 

I think it is a beautiful letter. Personally, I am a softie for hand written letters.

 

Maybe you can meet your advisors in the middle and just shorten it? If I was the recipient, I wouldn't think it was too long, I would consider it to be a gift.

 

Whatever you decide, definitely give her the letter! Its very important to express how you feel. Even if things don't work out, how will you ever know if you don't make the first step and put it out there?

[Chaser of Eros]

You do have exquisite penmanship.

 

 

However, the letter is too much. You reveal too much. You wear your heart on your sleeve & in the letter come across as a weak, needy, clingy unattractive doofus.

 

 

Since I am assuming you are writing this because you want her to fall for you, I can promise you it will have the exact opposite effect & send her running.

 

 

Save it.

 

 

Date her. Re-work it & give it to her on your 1st anniversary. Then it will be well received & cherished. Now it will prevent the relationship from ever forming. Timing is everything.

 

Thank you for the compliment on the penmanship. and I understand your position, I did think about doing that as well (waiting and giving it to her later).

 

I think it is a beautiful letter. Personally, I am a softie for hand written letters.

 

Maybe you can meet your advisors in the middle and just shorten it? If I was the recipient, I wouldn't think it was too long, I would consider it to be a gift.

 

Whatever you decide, definitely give her the letter! Its very important to express how you feel. Even if things don't work out, how will you ever know if you don't make the first step and put it out there?

 

Thank you very much and yea, I want to just be bold but don't want to send he running the other way as d0nnivain pointed out.

[d0nnivain]

I really do think it will scare her off this early. Later in established relationship it will be amazing. Don't blow this by pushing too fast.

[Auspecial]

Thank you for the compliment on the penmanship. and I understand your position, I did think about doing that as well (waiting and giving it to her later).

 

 

 

Thank you very much and yea, I want to just be bold but don't want to send he running the other way as d0nnivain pointed out.

 

To me, the letter would be great! However, I realize that it could possibly scare off some.

 

Maybe give her a letter that has four key sentences (from the original letter), and tell her that is "part" of a letter you have written, and gauge how she receives that information. If she seems bowled over by a short note, leave it at that an save the rest for later.

[jen1447]

With due respect to the opinions to the contrary shared here, whatever you do, don't send the letter.

 

You've known her one month. You had your first one-on-one a week ago. And now you want to send her two page handwritten letters telling her all your deepest thoughts and feelings for her? Chances are that'll wash you right out of her affections, and maybe even put you on the creeper list. And there's no getting off the creeper list once you're on it.

 

Remember this letter? You'll end up writing something along these lines two months down the road (only your handwriting will be nicer ) and by then you'll be totally, irrevocably doomed.

 

http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/0713/pathetic-love-darth-vader.jpg

 

So to recap, don't send the letter.

[Chaser of Eros]

With due respect to the opinions to the contrary shared here, whatever you do, don't send the letter.

 

You've known her one month. You had your first one-on-one a week ago. And now you want to send her two page handwritten letters telling her all your deepest thoughts and feelings for her? Chances are that'll wash you right out of her affections, and maybe even put you on the creeper list. And there's no getting off the creeper list once you're on it.

 

Remember this letter? You'll end up writing something along these lines two months down the road (only your handwriting will be nicer ) and by then you'll be totally, irrevocably doomed.

 

http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/0713/pathetic-love-darth-vader.jpg

 

So to recap, don't send the letter.

 

LMAO! I definitely don't want to make that exclusive list. and thank you for the link, I'll definitely keep this in mind.

[Chaser of Eros]

Update on situation:

 

I think it might be best to hold off on giving this to her. I just seen her about 15mins ago and get the feeling that I'm feeling her alot more or alot differently then she is me. sucks but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

[imtooconfused]

She obviously touched your heart something dramatically. At least initially, it's best to keep the emotion you show reasonably balanced with the emotions you receive, though perhaps a half step stronger.

 

At the same time, it's understandable that your heart is bursting to share your feelings, and the heart needs an outlet. Therefore, it's not a bad thing to WRITE a letter like this to get your thoughts on paper and out of your mind. But rather than send it, perhaps just fold the letter in half and place it in your desk drawer and SAVE the feelings that way.

[d0nnivain]

I'm not liking the fact that you are on different pages but that you have recognized that the letter is a bad idea at this time.

 

Do still pursue this woman but do so cautiously.

[Chaser of Eros]

She obviously touched your heart something dramatically. At least initially, it's best to keep the emotion you show reasonably balanced with the emotions you receive, though perhaps a half step stronger.

 

At the same time, it's understandable that your heart is bursting to share your feelings, and the heart needs an outlet. Therefore, it's not a bad thing to WRITE a letter like this to get your thoughts on paper and out of your mind. But rather than send it, perhaps just fold the letter in half and place it in your desk drawer and SAVE the feelings that way.

 

very true. I never truly understood how people say you can fall head over heals for someone. just figured it was one of those idioms that sounded cool when said, but I see what they mean. I'm an inquisitive individual, so I like reading and researching different subjects, Love has been one of those subjects. I can understand the side of the intuitive type individuals who feel it is something greater than the physical being and how it's guided by a higher power, but I can also understand the side of the scientists who state that Love is actually the culmination of a bio-chemical reaction and it's beneficial to species survival. but I don't know, all I can attest to is that it's a powerful experience. lol, I can see how when elders tell stories of falling in Love and remaining so for 40-50+ years it's possible.

 

Thank you for your input brother/sister(not sure of your gender), much appreciated.

 

 

I'm not liking the fact that you are on different pages but that you have recognized that the letter is a bad idea at this time.

 

Do still pursue this woman but do so cautiously.

 

Yea, I definitely understand. just needed to hear some non bias, different points of view. you all have been helpful in allowing me to have an proper outlet for cultivating clear thought.

[Chaser of Eros]

Update;

 

..... so, against better judgement I decided to jump out on a leap of faith and gave her the letter. her response...

 

Just read it. And that was the most beautiful thing i ever read on paper :)

 

I responded that I was glad she liked it and how I was a little unsure it would've come off as too heavy or straightforward. her response...

 

Thank You! I am glad I can motivate you to do better. Although I doubt you need motivation. I will be equally honored to be your inspiration and genuine friend.

 

No it was perfect thank you so much!!

 

So I'm thinking (or at least hoping) that she is interested but wants to take it slow to ensure that I am a man of my words. hopefully things go well. again, thank all of you who gave advice. something inside of me kept telling me to give it to her.

[jen1447]

Got to give you credit for determination and courage.

 

Was that the extent of her response(s)? It's a little hard to form an opinon on where he head's at based on that.

[Chaser of Eros]

Got to give you credit for determination and courage.

 

Was that the extent of her response(s)? It's a little hard to form an opinon on where he head's at based on that.

 

After the initial text's we just made small talk, I inquired about how her day was going, was she still suffering from a cold. told her about me finishing up some class work in a online course, then she requested I send her a picture.

 

I'm anti-selfie as they come, but I went on and sent her one with the deal she replies with one of herself.

[Diezel]

I stopped after the first sentence, because I was already whincing from reading that your letter starts off with an apology.

 

Forget it.

 

Don't send that.

 

Ever.

 

Specially with the first sentence being an underlying foundation of insecurity.

[pteromom]

I am glad you had a positive response, although it sounds like she put that FRIEND word in there for a reason.

 

You are a very deep feeling and expressive person. You are going to find it challenging to find kindred spirits in this shallow world.

 

Don't let it change who you are - just focus on finding those who get you. They are out there.

 

This girl may end up a friend, may end up more, and maybe not. But good for you for being true to yourself anyway.

[Diezel]

Update;

 

..... so, against better judgement I decided to jump out on a leap of faith and gave her the letter. her response...

 

I guess... live and learn.

 

You'll eventually see what her real response to the letter is.