Rko28 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Ill keep this brief as possible. I had a date with a girl off tinder last friday. We have a hell of a lot in common, pretty much everything I like she likes, we joked that we hoped we arent related! She wasnt a complete stranger, she actually works with one of my close friends, he told me shes a really nice girl so whats my issue here? Up until saturday she was still living with her ex, she said they had split up about 5 months ago (before christmas) but he had nowhere to go, he has now moved out. I didnt really have a problem with that until she kinda put her foot in it, he had bought her a holiday for them to go on this summer, a christmas present, but now they arent going. Shes lied about when they broke up it seems. Next up, she seems WAAAAAAY too much in to me at this point in time. Shes being really nice with what shes saying dont get me wrong, saying shes excited to see me again, which is lovely but it just seems, I dunno, a bit TOO OTT. On our date she said she has a spare ticket for the foo fighters and would love it if I came with her, again, a lovely gesture but suggesting that on a 1st date? So my concerns here are, am I a rebound or should I be mindful? OR... am I worrying over nothing here?
Diezel Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Go on Date #2, see what happens. Aren't you just recently off of a break-up as well?
PegNosePete Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Lying is the biggest red flag here I think. Do you know that she lied for a fact or are you guessing based on this holiday thing? What's the deal there?
Methodical Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Most of the time when you follow your gut instinct you won't go wrong. If you want to go to the foo fight, then go. You aren't committing to anything other than a date. Proceed with caution though, instincts send up red flags for a reason.
Mrin Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 The ex thing is a little odd but I've heard far stranger. I think you may be a little jumpy. Is that your normal MO? I'd certainly go for a second date.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 1st/2nd dates can always be awkward, give the 2nd one a go before you write her off. Foo Fighters huh? She sounds fun Yes - red flags but you guys aren't really all that involved yet so nothing too extraordinary.
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 The thing about people on the rebound is, they act flaky. One day or one week they love you, the next, not so much. Look for that. But if she's still living with him, she's probably still hung up on him. If she's coming on strong, that's great, as long as she's consistent. And if she is a lier, that's a delabreaker for sure.
Author Rko28 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Thanks everyone. Yes, about a month ago I stopped seeing that younger girl. Partly why Im dating now is to meet someone better suited to me, even though I still care deeply for her. A few years back I met someone similar to this, I felt like she wanted everythign yesterday, after I decided to end things a few weeks later she was with someone else and pregnant. My gut instinct at the time proved me right there and its a similar feeling to now. This might come across as a snakey thing but I am still in touch with that girl I went out with 2 weeks ago and we plan on meeting again this week. She was very similar to this girl too, we got on great and have similar interests. I just dont feel comfortable dating 2 at the same time but feel I have to in order to find the right match. For the record I havent kissed or slept with either of these girls.
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 You are doing the right things... multidating/curcular dating is good. And always listen to your gut feelings. Your head and your heart are liers.
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Stayed tuned for resurgence of posts regarding women who pursue men and fast tracking relationships
SycamoreCircle Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Forget it. Walk away from this one. RKO---you can do so much better. Find a nice, available girl that cleans up after herself. There are fun, available women out there. You will notice a real difference.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Forget it. Walk away from this one. RKO---you can do so much better. Find a nice, available girl that cleans up after herself. There are fun, available women out there. You will notice a real difference. Eh I agree to an extent. But if she invited me to Foo Fighters I would probably still go Could have fun, nothing to lose! He's circular dating so no need to cut her loose yet if he thinks there is potential.
maysj18 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 The fact that she is on Tinder means she's likely just rebounding and may not be looking for a LTR. She may just want to have fun, even if that's just with one person. She may not have reservations about moving too fast because she's not after anything significant anyways. I'm fresh out of a break up and I know that's my mindset with Tinder. I'm just looking for a fling filled with chemistry that will probably just fizzle out as time goes on. Since I'm on the rebound, I don't need a serious commitment right now. I don't know, just food for thought. 1
devilish innocent Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) I'd ask her about the timing of the holiday her ex bought. It's possible he thought they could go as friends or he was trying to win her back. I don't really see a problem with her inviting you to a concert. Saying she's excited to see you isn't a bad thing either unless she's pushing for too much. I'm wondering if these things would be bothering you as much if you weren't seeing another girl as well. Your instincts might be picking up on something, but it's not evident just based on what you've mentioned. Edited April 7, 2015 by devilish innocent
Author Rko28 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 I'd ask her about the timing of the holiday her ex bought. It's possible he thought they could go as friends or he was trying to win her back. I don't really see a problem with her inviting you to a concert. Saying she's excited to see you isn't a bad thing either unless she's pushing for too much. I'm wondering if these things would be bothering you as much if you weren't seeing another girl as well. Your instincts might be picking up on something, but it's not evident just based on what you've mentioned. I saw it on her facebook something like "best christmas present ever off the boy, love him" so its clear they were together. Well the other girl has cancelled plans on me for our next date, saying she has work plans, I then reminded her she is actually on easter holidays. Yup caught her out there! The girl of this post has asked to see me tonight, I still have a feeling about her that isnt good but I dont know why, I also dont have that excitment or desire to see her tonight either :/
Diana.dellala Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 When in doubt... Mumble Just kidding When in doubt find out more. Go for a second date, talk to her more, ask her about the holiday. Get to know her better. You're dating more than one girl, while this girl here looks very much into you already. Normally, if one is much more involved than the other one he/she could get hurt. But on the other hand, from what you're saying here, it looks like you have doubts about this girl because she is similar to the one that got pregnant in no time after your break up, hence it doesn't look she was that involved. And then this lie (?) about the holiday. But there's nothing you know for sure. Wait a bit before associating her to other girls, especially from your past experience. If you find out more you might realize that she's totally different... or not. At least you will be sure.
Author Rko28 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Posted April 9, 2015 For many reasons I cancelled last nights date, after the weekend break I was shattered from an adventerous weekend and then back to my fast paced job didnt help. Yesterday I didnt feel right, tired and naggy, I said I was a little under the weather and she understood completely. I said with me goign away this weekend that im free next week if she wants to meet. Her response was strange saying maybe this was a sign with me getting tired that we werent meant to be (after 1 date?!) and to see how we feel next week. She thought the "novelty" of her would wear off by then and I'd find someone else..... where that came from I have no idea! My response was that of course id like to see her again as we got on well on our first date and thought she was a nice girl, she then said she wasnt a nice girl and to ask her ex what she meant by that..... again not sure about this! I asked what she meant and she said she had done nothing bad but its a conversation for further down the line! I then fell asleep for 14 hours. I knew I was tired!
Author Rko28 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 Still having issues with this one. It started so well too! Basically she suggested ending things (after 1 date? didnt realise it was a thing!) because I was had plans all weekend, she said she felt bad asking to see me all the time? Now she hasnt asked to see me as she knew I was away, I got back late on sunday then she said all this. I told her im really uncomfortable with how shes made me feel bad about having plans and the fact she said she has no hobbies or interests. Anyway after telling me she wasnt free wednesday or thursday, this morning shes suddenly become free and wants to see me tonight. Im not sure if I should go or not. Im really put off with how shes been
Diezel Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 If this is how things are after 1 date, what is it going to be like in 1 year? Don't go out just to go out with someone. If you aren't feeling it, cancel.
Author Rko28 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 in some ways I am feeling it as im curious but there is no desire there really. Maybe just cut this one loose.
Author Rko28 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 I've let this one go, she then said the reason shes been clingy is because she had a bad day as she was raped a few years ago?!!! My friend noticed within minutes of me ending it she had signed up to POF and put on that "not looking for anything serious" I think ive dodged a bullet
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