Gaeta Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 One of my best friends is a male 47. We confine in each other about pretty much everything so he knows all about my dating. He told me over the weekend that I have been very different lately. I used to be wild and free and lately I have been acting like a virgin trying to save her virtue for the right man and it's not suiting me very well. He gave me some tough love about turning 50 this year and to stop acting like a prude who has not given it up a million time already. (A slight exageration here :-)) So Saturday night I had a hot date with a new man. Yesterday was our 2nd date and we had some wild-mind-blowing-sex. The man was on top of the world, he wanted to take me jewelry shopping after. I mentionned that to my male friend and he told me to 'shut up about it' if the man is thinking of buying me gifts he likes me THAT freakin much. So lets see how this one will unfold. 9
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I would be very wary of a guy who desperately wanted to buy me jewellery on the second date. What's he trying to buy? Your love? Continued sex? It's way too much too soon. I feel uncomfortable being bought stuff so early on or anything extravagant during a relationship. But I think it's natural to try portray different sides of yourself if what you've been displaying so far isn't working out for you. I have been wild in the past while single and enjoying myself, had casual sex with quite a few guys and crazy nights out, but when I'm in the mindset to find a boyfriend I don't act that way anyway as I'm looking for something different to the single life. I would never lie about my past or hide it if it came up but you don't have to be wild 24/7 your whole life. We all go through different phases and have different aims and objectives. 6
Kamille Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 It's great you've decided to just be yourself. Hopefully it helps you step away from overanalyzing everything. Have fun and enjoy! 5
Methodical Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 There is nothing wrong with enjoying his companionship and out-of-this-world sex, but I'd wonder what he is trying to buy if he's talking jewelry after two dates. That seems a bit much and I'd be leery of his overall motivation. 3
kendahke Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 One of my best friends is a male 47. We confine in each other about pretty much everything so he knows all about my dating. He told me over the weekend that I have been very different lately. I used to be wild and free and lately I have been acting like a virgin trying to save her virtue for the right man and it's not suiting me very well. He gave me some tough love about turning 50 this year and to stop acting like a prude who has not given it up a million time already. (A slight exageration here :-)) So Saturday night I had a hot date with a new man. Yesterday was our 2nd date and we had some wild-mind-blowing-sex. The man was on top of the world, he wanted to take me jewelry shopping after. I mentionned that to my male friend and he told me to 'shut up about it' if the man is thinking of buying me gifts he likes me THAT freakin much. So lets see how this one will unfold. Carpe diem, girl!!!! In my experience, sex got infinitely better once I turned 50. If you have a man with whom you and he have enjoyed amazing sex, then excellent for you! Those of us who are fortunate enough to make it to this age are even more fortunate to find someone with whom we can connect well, and I'm sure a lot of his motivation is appreciation for you in this arena. Welcome to this side of that line. 3
Carm Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 One of my best friends is a male 47. We confine in each other about pretty much everything so he knows all about my dating. He told me over the weekend that I have been very different lately. I used to be wild and free and lately I have been acting like a virgin trying to save her virtue for the right man and it's not suiting me very well. He gave me some tough love about turning 50 this year and to stop acting like a prude who has not given it up a million time already. (A slight exageration here :-)) So Saturday night I had a hot date with a new man. Yesterday was our 2nd date and we had some wild-mind-blowing-sex. The man was on top of the world, he wanted to take me jewelry shopping after. I mentionned that to my male friend and he told me to 'shut up about it' if the man is thinking of buying me gifts he likes me THAT freakin much. So lets see how this one will unfold. One year ago I turned 49, met a man who pursued me for months. Our first date takes me to the most expensive restaurant in the city. I think the bottle of wine alone was more than $200, the second date he buys me jewellery, the third date went to his home for a drink and then out for dinner (no sex), the fourth date he went poof.... Not sure what exactly happened but I really didn't care, I hadn't developed any feelings for him. I'm just glad that I hadn't had sex with him. I'd be careful of a man who gives that much so soon. Red flag for me!
Toodaloo Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 So Saturday night I had a hot date with a new man. Yesterday was our 2nd date and we had some wild-mind-blowing-sex. The man was on top of the world, he wanted to take me jewelry shopping after. I mentionned that to my male friend and he told me to 'shut up about it' if the man is thinking of buying me gifts he likes me THAT freakin much. So lets see how this one will unfold. I am so jealous... Couldn't happen to a better person though! Go get him Gaeta!!! I am chuffed to bits! 3
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 One of my best friends is a male 47. We confine in each other about pretty much everything so he knows all about my dating. He told me over the weekend that I have been very different lately. I used to be wild and free and lately I have been acting like a virgin trying to save her virtue for the right man and it's not suiting me very well. He gave me some tough love about turning 50 this year and to stop acting like a prude who has not given it up a million time already. (A slight exageration here :-)) So Saturday night I had a hot date with a new man. Yesterday was our 2nd date and we had some wild-mind-blowing-sex. The man was on top of the world, he wanted to take me jewelry shopping after. I mentionned that to my male friend and he told me to 'shut up about it' if the man is thinking of buying me gifts he likes me THAT freakin much. So lets see how this one will unfold. Yesterday was our 2nd date and we had some wild-mind-blowing-sex. he wanted to take me jewelry shopping after Don't over estimate the power of oxytocin 4
Author Gaeta Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 You're all so awesome!!! I was ready for everyone to go conservative on me this morning. He sent me a lovely text this morning. He's following up the 'day after' which is so important. I am not sure how to interpret the jewelry comment but it surely beats 'can I borrow 50 bucks' lol. I wish I had been myself, meaning more spontaneous, with last man, I was really into him from the get go. I played virgin Mary and lost. Oh well! can't turn back time. 8
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 You're all so awesome!!! I was ready for everyone to go conservative on me this morning. He sent me a lovely text this morning. He's following up the 'day after' which is so important. I am not sure how to interpret the jewelry comment but it surely beats 'can I borrow 50 bucks' lol. I wish I had been myself, meaning more spontaneous, with last man, I was really into him from the get go. I played virgin Mary and lost. Oh well! can't turn back time. How do you know playing virgin mary caused you to lose? And, why do you count it as a loss?
Erised Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Sex is fun. If you want to have it with someone, do it. No need to play games. People should all be more authentic. no scolding here 11
Auspecial Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 There is nothing wrong with enjoying his companionship and out-of-this-world sex, but I'd wonder what he is trying to buy if he's talking jewelry after two dates. That seems a bit much and I'd be leery of his overall motivation. I wouldn't be leery, I would sit back and enjoy any boon that comes my way. 2
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 How do you know playing virgin mary caused you to lose? And, why do you count it as a loss? It's a good sign he contacted you after sex. Pull back to the middle though. Make sure he dates you "properly" going forward. 1
Mrin Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Good on ya Gaeta! Love it! On our second date I invited my GF/Soulmate to fly across the country for a four day weekend in NYC. We had only kissed. She said yes and well, the rest is history. 4
Author Gaeta Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 How do you know playing virgin mary caused you to lose? And, why do you count it as a loss? I was really bad at playing virgin Mary. I dressed sexy with cleavage, invite him home, and tell him to get his hands off of me *shaking head*. I must have appeared more like a nut case than a virgin Mary. Poor man. I count it as a loss as I saw him as a good candidate for a long term relationship, he was a little older, our personality meshed well, I liked a lot of things about him.
Author Gaeta Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Good on ya Gaeta! Love it! On our second date I invited my GF/Soulmate to fly across the country for a four day weekend in NYC. We had only kissed. She said yes and well, the rest is history. I got to go Wow! on that :-)
Toodaloo Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 You're all so awesome!!! I was ready for everyone to go conservative on me this morning. He sent me a lovely text this morning. He's following up the 'day after' which is so important. I am not sure how to interpret the jewelry comment but it surely beats 'can I borrow 50 bucks' lol. I wish I had been myself, meaning more spontaneous, with last man, I was really into him from the get go. I played virgin Mary and lost. Oh well! can't turn back time. Fling your knickers in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care...!!! Sod the last one... I like this one! Go make his testicles fall off and his eyes pop out and have FUN!!!! You did use a condom didn't you??? Your not going to tell us all you are pregnant are you??? 2
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I was really bad at playing virgin Mary. I dressed sexy with cleavage, invite him home, and tell him to get his hands off of me *shaking head*. I must have appeared more like a nut case than a virgin Mary. Poor man. I count it as a loss as I saw him as a good candidate for a long term relationship, he was a little older, our personality meshed well, I liked a lot of things about him. Oh, a little bit of mixed signals going on. But, in the end, if he dropped you because you didn't have sex with him, it's his loss, not your's 2
Mrin Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I got to go Wow! on that :-) Ya. Not entirely sure how it happened. We were on maybe hour 9 of our second date and were at a speakeasy. We were talking about travel and I blurted out "oh wow, we should totally go to NYC!" To which she replied yes! When? Without even thinking I proffered, "how about for Labor Day, three weeks from now?" We actually ended up doing DC so she could meet my aunt and I could take her boating on the Chesapeake. Magical trip! 2
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Oh, a little bit of mixed signals going on. But, in the end, if he dropped you because you didn't have sex with him, it's his loss, not your's Gaeta, I want to point out one thing. The title of this post is "Owning Who You Are". Yet, you've kinda mixed your dating approaches apparently. My point is, that I think it's important to choose a dating approach and stick with it according to what is about your "core" as a woman. If you want to keep sex off the table early in your dating scenarios, you should stick with that if that's more comfortable for you even when there is a heavy attraction. If you've decided that you're going to allow for sex early in order to see if you're more "successful" in dating, that's OK, but just be careful. If this one works out for you, I'll be very happy for you It's true sometimes, you just never know.
MidwestUSA Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I was 50 when I met my husband. Despite telling myself I wouldn't, we had sex on the second date. He moved in seven weeks later. Our second wedding anniversary is just around the corner. It happens. We're older, we know what we want and we GO FOR IT! Best wishes! 12
Mrin Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 It happens. We're older, we know what we want and we GO FOR IT! Best wishes! This times 1000 1
Author Gaeta Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 If you want to keep sex off the table early in your dating scenarios, you should stick with that if that's more comfortable for you even when there is a heavy attraction. If you've decided that you're going to allow for sex early in order to see if you're more "successful" in dating, that's OK, but just be careful. Being spontaneous is more like me. Of course I don't believe in having sex with just anyone but when you come across this someone and feel this heavy sexual chemistry why not act on it especially at my age when I have nothing to prove to anyone anymore. Lately I had taken sex off the table to see if I'd be more successful and I wasn't. Actually my frustration was greater. I felt I had a lot of expectations toward these men I didn't have before. It's like I wanted them to be perfect. I don't know why in my mind if I don't have sex with a man I have expectation and he better be perfect and if I do have sex with him then I am much flexible and expect much less from him. 7
katiegrl Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) Gaeta, I want to point out one thing. The title of this post is "Owning Who You Are". Yet, you've kinda mixed your dating approaches apparently. My point is, that I think it's important to choose a dating approach and stick with it according to what is about your "core" as a woman. If you want to keep sex off the table early in your dating scenarios, you should stick with that if that's more comfortable for you even when there is a heavy attraction. If you've decided that you're going to allow for sex early in order to see if you're more "successful" in dating, that's OK, but just be careful. If this one works out for you, I'll be very happy for you It's true sometimes, you just never know. IDK Redhead, sticking to the same *style* and applying that style (or rule) to each situation sounds rather rigid. It also doesn't work, for the simple reason each and every situation is *different* and as such how we react and respond in each situation will therefore be different. Being flexible is key. Judge each situation based on what is happening in *that* particular situation and respond accordingly. THAT is being authentic and genuine. Not having pre-set rules (or a *style*)....and applying those rules to each *different* situation. Gaeta I am proud of you! You were flexible and open and didn't allow any preset rule or style to guide your actions...or emotions. If it works out, great. If not, that's okay too. You were true to yourself! You were genuine and authenic!! Two of the most attractive qualities a person could ever hope to be! Now don't start over-thinking things ...lol...and good luck! Edited April 7, 2015 by katiegrl 2
road Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 One year ago I turned 49, met a man who pursued me for months. Our first date takes me to the most expensive restaurant in the city. I think the bottle of wine alone was more than $200, the second date he buys me jewellery, the third date went to his home for a drink and then out for dinner (no sex), the fourth date he went poof.... Not sure what exactly happened but I really didn't care, I hadn't developed any feelings for him. I'm just glad that I hadn't had sex with him. I'd be careful of a man who gives that much so soon. Red flag for me! He's gone because you did not "poof" him. 2
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