Guitarisgood Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 First off, I've been hurt. Hurt really really bad by woman. I went through a few months of solace where I turned my life around. And now there is this girl. She's the popular type with guys chasing left, right and centre. I'm the drifter now. I don't follow this; I've got more important things to spend my time on i.e. studying and hobbies. Hence we only talk when we bump or see each other at uni. When we do we flirt, playfully tease and she asks what I'm up to, my plans next, if I'm grabbing lunch etc. One night out, we turned up at a party and I noticed her eyeing me a bit. She came up and was hugging and very touchy around me as we were chatting with friends. I saw more friends whom I went to say hello to. After her female friends flocked to her and I overheard her discussing how 'I must not be his type'. Now I don't know if she was referring this to me. She was cold towards me for the rest of the night and guys who were coming up to her, she was all over them. I became jealous. With the days after I see her friends posting jokes on social media teasing about how she will forever be single. Come the new week and I see her again and again she asks what I'm up to, how long I'm hanging around etc. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be drawn in as another guy circling her. At the same time I am hesitant. You have to realise I was hurt really bad and scarred - even if no one sees it. How do I figure this out? Without the whole class and gossip spreading. The guys whom I mentioned were chasing her? They're all acquaintances of mine too; guys who were chasing her much before I even noticed her. I don't know how to deal with the 'bro code' associated with this...
Methodical Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 First off, I've been hurt. Hurt really really bad by woman. I went through a few months of solace where I turned my life around. And now there is this girl. She's the popular type with guys chasing left, right and centre. I'm the drifter now. I don't follow this; I've got more important things to spend my time on i.e. studying and hobbies. Hence we only talk when we bump or see each other at uni. When we do we flirt, playfully tease and she asks what I'm up to, my plans next, if I'm grabbing lunch etc. One night out, we turned up at a party and I noticed her eyeing me a bit. She came up and was hugging and very touchy around me as we were chatting with friends. I saw more friends whom I went to say hello to. After her female friends flocked to her and I overheard her discussing how 'I must not be his type'. Now I don't know if she was referring this to me. She was cold towards me for the rest of the night and guys who were coming up to her, she was all over them. I became jealous. With the days after I see her friends posting jokes on social media teasing about how she will forever be single. Come the new week and I see her again and again she asks what I'm up to, how long I'm hanging around etc. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be drawn in as another guy circling her. At the same time I am hesitant. You have to realise I was hurt really bad and scarred - even if no one sees it. How do I figure this out? Without the whole class and gossip spreading. The guys whom I mentioned were chasing her? They're all acquaintances of mine too; guys who were chasing her much before I even noticed her. I don't know how to deal with the 'bro code' associated with this... To answer your title question, how do I know she's for real, you don't. All you can do is proceed with caution. The guys who were chasing her are acquaintances, so not your "friends" right? Plus, guys can chase, but if the girl isn't interested she's not gonna go out with them. Ask her to join you to some place casual and if she accepts the invitation, see where it goes. Going on a date doesn't mean you have to be 100% emotionally invested.
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Sounds like a good time for you to be multi-dating. If one rejects you, you'll have another to fall back on. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Sounds like a good time for you to be multi-dating. If one rejects you, you'll have another to fall back on. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Yup..... Although OP you should have hit on her at the party, she wanted the D man
smackie9 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Just keep acting kool and aloof.....she will be clawing for you and possibly others too. Never ever look at a girl as a lost opportunity if you don't act. The less available you are the more desirable you become.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Just keep acting kool and aloof.....she will be clawing for you and possibly others too. Never ever look at a girl as a lost opportunity if you don't act. The less available you are the more desirable you become. Yeah but when she's throwing herself on him at a party, it's stupid not to act if he likes her. It sounded like he did - but didn't know what to do, or was scared to make a move.
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 On the one hand, dating is good therapy. But also, it's better to be single than to be in a poor relationship, so I don't push people to date.
Author Guitarisgood Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Cheers guys, I guess I'll admit I'm finding it hard to get back into it. It's just the scarring I received from the woman previously. There is no hard feelings between me and them I'll admit (I guess I blame a lot of everything on myself). I just find myself hesitating a lot or avoiding such situations. To put it into perspective, I surf and would happily paddle out in shark infested and pull into double overhead waves but the thought of a social scene really does scare me now let alone woman.
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